Once cheated do you fear to be cheated again in life?

@subha12 (18449)
India
October 8, 2007 1:57am CST
If you are once cheated by someone, do you fear it ever? Does it become difficult for you to believe someone again? I think it will be the case with me. I was chaeted big time by someone. He was so good once with me, when he actually needed my help. But now he has behaved so badly and we are not in touch anymore. Do u think that in this situation it will be heard for you to believe someone again? What will you do if that same person again start communicating with you and try to patch up?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@saunty (604)
• India
8 Oct 07
Its something which is very common with the boys out here in our society, they are the one who mostly do so, i have seen many of my friends who are suffering because of this particular behaviour of their boy friend, so if someone again comes for forgiveness after doin all this, then u should definitely not forgive him, this is what i think.
1 person likes this
@molusk (857)
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
In life they say there are only two kinds of person. One is the cheater while the other one is the person to be cheated upon. This fallacy of generalization holds true if we just let ourselves be cheated upon by the cheaters. And they also say that you can fool a person once, but it will be doubly hard for you to fool him twice. And impossible to fool him thrice. This just goes to show subha12, that having been cheated once, we would then tend to put up our defenses not to be cheated once again. It is natural to every one of us. Precisely because your trust for a person were abused, it would now be hard to make you trust somebody else lest that person might again prove unworthy of your trust. And if that first person who cheated on you tries to take back your trust will he succeed? I dunno but I think he will have to do a lot of explaining because as they say, to fool a person for the second time is doubly hard, so before he even try, make up your mind. Let your mind speak more loudly than your heart.
@magilives (261)
• Australia
9 Oct 07
Everyone is cheated on to a point. We all look and wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. But if you spend your life worrying about whether you will be cheated on you will never find happiness. So have some faith and move on and just hope it doesn't happen again.
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I would be careful trusting this person again myself. If they did not go through with the cheating, that is one thing. It is another if they actually do the deed. Then it would take me a long time to trust that person again. While I do think we are allowed to make mistakes as humans and a lot of us deserve second chances, it also depends on the situation, the people involved, and what happened for things to end up the way they did to get to that point.
@laurika (4536)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I think I would believe again.I cannot think about all people are the same, when one of them cheated on me.They deserve my chance, they didn't do anything to me.
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I did have someone cheat on me years ago. So I left this person. He could never be trusted again. And thats how I believe. I dont think I would be friends with this person ever again.
@sumitsonu (598)
• India
8 Oct 07
Well it is a very difficult question to be answered , I think it all depends on the situation. My mind will say not to believe that person because he is bound to hurt you again , but still if the person is truly guilty of his action and promises not to repeat the act, there is no harm in giving the person a chance, because after all man is destined to do mistakes, and no one is perfect in this world . So we should at least give one chance but still if he shows signs of repeating the mistake it is better to through the person out of my life.
@shadowing (309)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 07
Hi Subha. Well, if I was cheated by a person and concerning the communication issue, it depends on what the is thing he and her cheated on me. If not too serious and we are best friend, then it's ok. However, if serious thing and lie which I can never forgive, then no matter how he/she try to patch back, I won't response a single thing
• India
8 Oct 07
I think if you are cheated once your chances of being cheated again are reduced.You will get hurted at that time, i know but you will learn a lot from that,you will be able to know this world much better..
@matrix13 (998)
• India
8 Oct 07
ya I really do fear.. But I dont mind making contact with him but I keep a distance that he can feel. So he will never again cheat me..
• India
8 Oct 07
No, this is not the case with me. In our growing years we all have been cheated sometime or the other by complete strangers or close friends. the definition of cheating also varies from person to person and while we may feel cheated if things don’t work out as expected, the other party may feel it as his/her right to act in a certain way. its always the aggrieved party which feels cheated while a balance view by a neutral person may prove it wrong. So I may sulk, I may refuse to help that same person again, I may bad-mouth, but I cannot stop believing in people. I will go mad doubting everyone around! My very base in life is my faith in humanity, I cant let that flounder just because some selfish oaf cheated me once. I am basically a shallow happy-go-lucky type, I do not attach too much importance to most things in life, I stay healthy that way. But in the process of being repeatedly cheated in both big and small ways, I have developed a certain premonition about certain situations. If the signs and symbols are similar, I get a feeling that somehow I would be cheated at the end of a certain episode and I start staying clear of that person and situation. You must also try and learn from past episodes and extricate yourself from certain situations which are bound to hurt you. But you should never lose your faith in people, you wont be able to enjoy life if you do so.
8 Oct 07
Well, I've been cheated on my pretty much all of my ex-partners and to be honest, I never feared it. I was never distrusting in a new relationship. It was something that happened, and I just assumed I was chasing after the wrong sort of man. However, my point of view has changed. My husband has cheated on me 4 times. We've been married for almost a year, we've been togetehr almost two years and the whole two years toegther there has been 4 cases, that I know of, of him cheating. I now fear him cheating again. The last time he cheated, he caught a sexually transmitted disease that thankfully, he didn't pass on to me. Now I have the overwhelming fear of ever feeling that hurt again, but for some reason, I simply cannot leave him. I keep kidding myself that he will change, and maybe he will, maybe he won't. At leadt when I'm with him, I sort of expect it and it won't come as such a shock. My theory is that it will hurt much more if I was to put my trust in to a new man and then have him cheat on me. I'm scared of the pain that betrayal brings, it cuts so deep and I don't think it ever really heals. It's intense and it makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do. I hate that feeling, but now, because of my hubby's past, I'm prepared for it and I know that I got through it so many times before, I will be able to get through it again. That might sound very strange to some people, but please don't judge me, or my husband. I think eventually, the fear of betrayal and someone cheating on you could ruin your life if you will let it, I almost did once, but I know that I'm strong enough to get over it, and I'm sure I will if it ever happens again!
@subathra (3519)
• India
8 Oct 07
I think the one who was cheated and betrayed tend to be extra careful while moving into a similar situation..Offcourse we do learn lessons from our mistakes.. But it really depends upon as some people will never get along with some one who betrayed them as trust is broken and some have the tendency of forgiveness and continue their relationship.. If this happens with me i think a lot before making any move as the bitter memories always worries me before taking any decision and never i can give up anything so easily with someone who broke my heart..if i realise he/she changed hope i can get along and forgive his/her errors.
@milkfish (374)
• Philippines
8 Oct 07
Trust takes time to gain. Once destroyed, there is no assurance that things will be back to normal again. I was once cheated also and i feel really, really bad about it. I have forgiven the person who did it to me, but I can't give him the same level of trust I used to give before. I am more cautious now. What is assurance that he will not do it again? What if history repeats itself?
@sang2k2 (1833)
• India
8 Oct 07
if once cheated one wud be more carefull abt things n will nt make amistake to repeat tht thing again evrin life till the time one is actually secured abt tht things...yes it becomes very difficult after tht to trust ne one u may for once nt evn touch ur best of friends thn ..u wud c evrythng in tht negative sense..bt after wards ones thinking grows up n amy nt think in tht negative manner.no i wont evr like to evn think abt tht person n nvr evr wud commiunicate evr with him / her throughout my life evn if tht person tries to relaises his /her msitakes or evn come n beg in front of me...i wud actually like to curse tht person so tht he /she shud feel the pain i have gone thru...
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
8 Oct 07
i think i will lose my trust in this person,even if i can give him a chance things will never be the same.
@shak143 (1280)
• India
8 Oct 07
If i once cheated by someone won't fear of it and i will be consious and becarefull from repeatig the same.Ofcourse it become difficult after this to believe someone and had agood relation.But if same person start's communicating again i will let him but i won't belive and give him any secrets and i won't help him in any cases by which iam loosing somthing.