how do you tell your brother that you don't like his fiancee?

Canada
October 11, 2007 11:39pm CST
My brother's fiancee can be so annoying. She can be really lazy. Now that she is pregnant, she plays on it with my brother all the time. "Oh I can't work because I have morning sickness. Oh I can't do dishes because i feel like i am going to faint." Sometimes i just want to slap her and say, "Do you know how many single mothers struggle to provide for their kids and work full time jobs and never complain about it?" She has no idea how good my brother is to her yet she complains about him all the time. Do you people have in-laws like that? How do you deal with it?
6 people like this
13 responses
• United States
12 Oct 07
Well, I sort of said something along the lines of... "I really cant stand that b!tch that you brought here, do you two mind leaving?".... But Im sure you dont want to say anything like that. She does sound like a whiner, what is she going to do when it comes out of her? LOL She wont want to work then either, or wont have time to clean the dishes, boy your brother has his hands full. Sorry to hear that. I dont have this problem really, not too close with my family, so it doesnt matter to me. I think the next time she complains openly about your brother I would tell her a thing or two though. I wouldnt want to see someone I was close to being treated like that. Just tell him! He might just surprise you and agree! Bay Lay Gray xx
3 people like this
@tujiagirl (368)
• China
12 Oct 07
For me,dealing with in-laws is unpleasant too. I have a brother who never tells us anything about his girlfriend. Fortunately he is not engaged with somebody now.But I am worrying he will take back a girl who is annoying and tell us he will marry her. That definitely would shock my Mom and me. My bother is so stubborn that family members can't interfer his private affairs. What I can do now is praying that he will get a girl with nice personality back.
2 people like this
• India
12 Oct 07
Firstly ,my apologies..your brother must be a loving guy to stick with her.You never get to have people like that.For your sister in law, she is just exaggerating and capitalising on your brother's goodness.well,women tend to get a little dizzy and have morning sickness in the first few months.She could turn even worse in the end stages....Did she ever have any psychic problems in the past...if yes,beware, she can go crazy any moment.But post partum(ie,after delivery) psychosis is commoner.I have a sister-in-law who has multiple problems like hypothyroidism ,migraine,motion sickness,hyperactivity etc.But she is not irritating and gets well with my brother and other members of my family.She has not gone into the stage of pregnancy yet ,so i cant give a full 10/10 for her on this discussion. One thing is for sure-she does not love your brother or she is just a lazy silly girl.
@milkfish (375)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
When I was heavy with my first baby, the pregnancy was so difficult that my ob-gyne advised me to stay in bed most of the time with very minimal physical activity. It is because my pregnancy have some complications. i don't know if your brother's fiancee has a complicated pregnancy also that makes her feel unwell most of the time. Or maybe just some hromanal changes associated with pregnancy. But if she is just having a normal pregnancy, I guess she is just overacting everything. I agree that it sometimes get to our nerves for having people like her around. If she is presently staying in your family's home, she might as well behave and project a good image to earn the approval of your brother's family. If she can't stand it there, she always have a choice to go back to where she came from.
2 people like this
@wseayuan (374)
• China
12 Oct 07
Hi,friend . iam sorry to hear that. but i haveto say anybody has his /her charactors.maybe you dislike that .but it is difficult to change that.maybe you can just to tell your true feeling to your brother ,let him to make his fiancee to do some change.if not ,you should learn to face her. you are a family,we all should learn to get on with each other, we can first try our best .that is my opinion.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Oct 07
I wouldn't tell my sibling that I don't like their partner. I know I wouldn't give up someone I love because someone in my family disapproves and vice versa. I'm the one who will be with my partner but if there were some tension, then I would have a talk with him. If my sibling was with someone I didn't like, I would just bite my tongue and hope the visit didn't last forever. Maybe you can have a nice discussion with your brother. Be gentle and kind about it or he could end up upset with you. I don't think that's what you want or you wouldn't be asking for advice. I wish I could give you some advice on how to deal with her. I don't know either of you so I would have no idea what could possibly work. I wish you luck.
@bonbon664 (3470)
• Canada
12 Oct 07
As much as you want to, you can't say anything. It's really got nothing to do with you. It's all about whether or not he loves her. If he does, you have to accept her if you want to continue to have a relationship with your brother. If you say anything to him, you risk alienating him.
1 person likes this
@rimsha (806)
• Pakistan
12 Oct 07
Its very simple say Little baby is soon coming don't play on it.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56764)
• Delhi, India
12 Oct 07
Untill and unless your brother cooperates with you and takes your side, you cannot critice your brother's fiancee in front of her. They may be in deep love with each other and when two persons are in love, they just do not wish to listen to others' criticism at any cost. I think you can do little in this case, just adjust to the circumstances and igonore your brother's financee prantks and silly attitude.
@seared (247)
• China
12 Oct 07
I definetely can't stand that kind of girl.I think you can tell your brother your real feeling instead of slaping her and say that:)LOL
1 person likes this
@sweetee (421)
• Australia
13 Oct 07
I am sorry to hear that things are not going going smoothly for your family - bringing a new child into the world should be a wonderful time, though it sounds like she isn't making it easy for anyone else. I do have to say though, that when I was pregnant I couldn't stand for very long at a time because I have very low blood sugar levels and I had severe all day sickness with both children. Instead of gaining weight - I was losing it! Some people have a low pain threshold too - or she might just like the attention it brings. Good Luck!
@kodie420 (872)
• Canada
12 Oct 07
Well I know that my mom raised me and my sister our whole lives by herself so I have so sympthay for her. If you and your brother are close then why not just tell him how you feel and go from there. Hopefully he will respect your opinion and say something and if not then never mention it again. Thats about all you can do but anyways good luck to you.
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
12 Oct 07
HOw frustrating. I use to get annoyed with people like that when I was pregnant with twins and working 30 hours a week and taking care of three other kids and couldn't get my husband to do a darn thing! Now I've come to the realization that they don't care that I'm annoyed. It doesn't bother them at all.