Whn you ask questions do you reall mean them?Or just being polite?

@laurika (4532)
United States
October 20, 2007 8:41pm CST
I mean when you meet somebody and ask them about their family.Do you mean it?Or just you think is polite.I think we should ask questions only we really want to know answers for. I had a somebody in my house who knows my family and he was asking about my brother.I started telling him how he is doing, what is up in his life, but I didn't even finish the sentence and he already ask me another question.And it repeats more times.So I mean why he asks me, if he is not interested to know really about them?
4 people like this
19 responses
@derek_a (10874)
21 Oct 07
I know what you mean. I like to ask meaningful questions and I would feel rude if I was to butt in and interrupt the answer. I am afraid I am a bit straight talking though and would say something like, "hey! you asked me a question, don't you want to know the answer?" he he..
@derek_a (10874)
22 Oct 07
Yeh, go for it. If someone is going to ignore you because you said the truth, they only want to manipulate you in the first place.. :-)
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I really amdire that you are straight,Yeah I need to telll him this next time.
1 person likes this
@shadowing (308)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 07
Hi laurika. Personally, when I ask question, I do really mean them, or else why I ask? I mean if I am not interested I don't even bother to open my mouth to ask. Haha, I am just too lazy to. Anyway, some people are just asking for the sake of finding topic? Haha.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
Well this was not the case.the guy is my cousin, we have so much in common and didn'tsee each other for four years so there was so much to talk about.But he just like to talk only about him self I think and don't listen others.
• Malaysia
22 Oct 07
Oh I see. Well, maybe in that case he wants you to know more about him? Haha. Anyway, able to chat with someone who has a lot in common will be great. All the best
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
21 Oct 07
WHen I ask a question - and even when it's only to be polite - I always want to hear the answer. What would be the point of asking if I didn't. However it also depends on how close I am to the person that I am asking the question. From an acquaintance that I am not really close to , I usually expect a general answer and not their life story. If it's someone closer I will want to know all the details. BUt I still hear both answers with the same respect, or I don't ask the question :)
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
Thank you, i feel the same way.Don't ask if you don't want to hear it.
@Toni_07 (175)
• United States
21 Oct 07
Hello Laurika, I work in a public place, so everyday i am asking,"How are you today?" And they ususally respond to "Fine,how are you?" Depending on the mood im in i will say ok, or ask them do they want me to lie or tell the truth...lol... But for the most part i think they really are sincere. Some are just trying to make conversation i think.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I think this is something different, i can understand when you say how are you in the store when you ahve hundreds people and you don't mean it, but when somebody close to you ask you questions and then don't listen , that is rude to me.
• Philippines
21 Oct 07
i guess his just asking just for the sake of having conversation. for me, there are times that i ask questions just to cut the silence especially with not-so-close person but as much as i can i try to remember what we're talking about so that it will not be unfair for him/her. and to the question, yeah i do ask questions sometimes just being polite, sad to say.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
This si something different becuase he is never silent, so he has nothing to cut.He likes to talk and can do it forever.I think in his case, he just probably don't know how to listen other people.
• Philippines
21 Oct 07
did you ever try and be frank with him and tell him what you think? or if he ask again with the same question, just tell him "im not answering it,ive already told you that". is he a close cousin or yours?
@marabdl86 (615)
• United States
21 Oct 07
hahaha I know what you mean. SOme ppl can be really mean and not even realise it. You have to watch what you say, or you can hurt someone unintentonally. I don't know, just don't get close to the guy. He can just try to be nice, but he should be real with himself. This don't suprise me, most ppl are slefish or very dumb anyway. Just my 2 cents :)
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
You are s right.Thank you for response.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 07
I agree with you. If you don't want the answer, you shouldn't ask the question.I only ask questions that I either want or need the answers to.I think it is rude to ask a question and don't wait for the answer.
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
21 Oct 07
A lot of people do this just to be polite. They may have heard from someone who genuinely cares, that something is wrong. They feel obigated to come over and ask, but they don't really want to know at all. When that happens, I just stop dealing with these people altogether. To my, that is rude. If you ask a person a question, listen to the entire answer or don't ask at all.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
Thank you for agreeing with me.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
21 Oct 07
When I ask questions I really mean them, but many others do not. Your visitor like to hear himself talk. It is like the man who says, "Enough talking about me. Let's talk about you. What do YOU think of me?" This is a lose-lose situation, unfortunately. But if someone treats me like that, the next time they knock or ring at my door, I do not open it.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
This was the greatest response.Yeah you know exactly what I mean.I am giving you best response.
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
21 Oct 07
well if i ask questions then i really mean it.i only ask if i mean them as well.i wont ask just to ask.if they are my friend and i asked how a question i mean it from my heart because i care.
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
21 Oct 07
I never ask questions about personal matters or other life doings. Unless if i know the person. Yeh, i admit if i am with someone for the first time. And if i found he is shy to start up a conversation. I will make any questions or a stories that he can relate to. But i will not ask if i am not interested to it. When i asked i really mean it.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
That is great , i am really glad i am not only one.Actually this man is my cousin, so we really know each other.
@Ramsakha (205)
• India
21 Oct 07
When I meet someone and ask him about his family or any other matter, I really mean it. I listen to him and react in a positive manner.
• United States
21 Oct 07
I don't think you should ask the question if you don't care about the answer. When someone asks how I am I always say fine because if they were really interested the would probably ask how I was feeling, how my kids are, you know what I mean. I think it is rude to ask someone a question and not even listen to their response.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
21 Oct 07
That is what I mean.Why they ask if they don't listen?It can make me so mad.And then they would ask the smae questions over and over becuase they never hear the answer.
1 person likes this
21 Oct 07
Depends on who I'm talking to I guess. Sometimes it could be a person I know but barely and I make an effort to speak to them because I feel it would be rude otherwise to just walk off or say something like "I don't actually want to speak to you". I wouldn't just cut someone off in mid-answer though. I'd pay attention to what was being said, since that would be just as rude.
@twowizdom (861)
• Philippines
21 Oct 07
well I usually ask questions intentionally. maybe those kind of people you are talking about just want to talk but not really interested.
@raychill (6525)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I don't normally ask questions unless I mean them. But people take not asking questions so seriously. You don't ask questions you don't care or something. That's what people seem to think. I just don't ask questions because I Don't have any!
@andyliuzn (1029)
• Guangzhou, China
21 Oct 07
Hi Laurika, I suppose quite a lot of people are doing the way as the sb in your house do. Some people are asking and answering questions just for being polite. For me, I often ask questions not just because I mean to be polite, but I would really know something about them since I do care about the things happen around him/her if I regard him/her as my friends. Andy
@goodsign (2287)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 07
For this matter, I will ask something that I really don't know and wanted to know, sincerely. Anyhow it depend on the present issues, if I found it as sensitive I won't ask and just go to the next points to greets or discuss. I will try to make our conversation in a very comfortable manner. As best as I could be. Thanks, Laurika.
@pedowii (39)
• China
21 Oct 07
Sometimes i would do that simply to avoid being embarassed.But I won't ask a question the second time.That means you don't care what he said,and it's more embarassing.