Do you think parents are to blame when kids throw tantrums in public?

It is the child's fault, if he is over about three years old, but I am not arbitrary about the age. It is the parent's fault if they let it go and do not do anything about it. I went through a very short stage with my son, my first child, where he had fits at a store. I took care of it then and there and told him my expectations, and we learned together how to deal with things. I read, long before I had children, that when you see a child experiencing a "meltdown" in a store it is generally because they have been pushed past their limits and do not have the words to express it. They have missed their nap, they are out of routine, they are hungry, they are overwhelmed. I tried hard not to put my kids in those circumstances and we had very few tantrums. I did daycare as well and would take seven or eight kids shopping, and they did behave, and no, I did not spank them. Today there was a child in Pizza Hut who kept getting down from the table where he was sitting and just wandering off to the next room, getting underfoot of waiters and customers alike. Mom would SAY, stay here, but would not get up and get him or make him stay. How dangerous! When he did sit in his chair, he kept rocking it backwards. He fell over, almost hitting a server, who felt guilty for not catching him!! The first time he did not follow directions his mother or father, who was also present, should have taken him out to the car and had a serious talk with him. He should have missed the whole outing, even if one of them had to, as well, if he would not mind. He will not behave any better when he is older if they do not discipline him now. Today was the parents, fault, both of them

I have a sister that has kids that do not mind them at all. That is their fault. There are others that have children with special needs, that we may not see, that have no control over the meltdowns. I do not believe that they should be fined, because it would be too hard to distiguish the two. The ones with children that have problems have enough to deal with without having to deal with proving that they should not be fined. We are on spotlight enough and don't need more hastles. I do feel that other parents should have better control of their children, and if they don't they should be asked to take them outside and get them under control.

I don't think that it is always the parents' fault, or always the kids' fault. It's one of those things you have to take case by case. Some kids are just naughty no matter how much their parents try to discipline them, or no matter what way they discipline them. My little sister was one of the most evil little kids I've ever seen. She was always into something, and there wasn't a thing that my parents could do to make her listen. They would put her in the corner, take away all her toys, spank her until she couldn't sit down, yell at her until they were hoarse, not let her watch TV or play with any of the rest of us, and she still acted up. My mom would tell her not to do something, and my sister would smile at my mom while she did it. When my mom picked her up and spanked her my sister would say "Is that all you got? That doesn't hurt!" She would then leave the room and cry, but she never let on when my parents were around. I don't think it was my parents' fault at all that my sister acted up. I can remember more than once being at the grocery store when my sister threw a fit. My mom would pick her up and tell her to behave and promise a spanking when she got home, but she would still throw a fit the next time we were out. My mom couldn't just leave her at home, though, because my dad worked 18-20 hour days every day during the summer. I think people are too quick to judge parents. I guarantee that a lot of these people that think their own parenting was excellent because their kids didn't throw fits wouldn't have been able to handle my sister. Out of six kids, five of us listened the first time Mom told us to quit doing something. I'm pretty sure that speaks more of her good parenting abilities than the fact that my little sister never listened speaks of her bad abilities. There are some parents that just let their children do whatever they want whenever they want, though. And that's their fault. I would never just assume that was the case with someone I saw at Walmart ONE time, though.

Interesting discussion. I like the way you posed the question. I am going to reply before I read the other responses, but I do look forward to reading what others have to say. My children have thrown tantrums in public a few times. It can be mortifying for the parent and annoying to those around the scene. When that happens, there are really only a few options that I can think of. 1- You leave the scene imediately and deal with them at home. Of course, that option really bites, if you just spent 45 minutes buying the weeks groceries and you have 3 more items left to get and a long line to wait in, knowing you'll just have to come back and do the shopping all over again. 2- Spank or smack your child for being rotten - then you risk someone calling the cops on you and being arrested for child abuse. 3- Glare at them, mutter to them "just WAIT til we get home" then finish your shopping while they rant and people give you dirty looks. Truth be told, it's really a no win situation. Of course parents have to deal with it, and each parent will deal with it in their own way. I think rather than parents judging eachother, they should be sympathetic toward eachother. My children areen't the most horrible children in the world, but they do misbehave sometimes. I've seen children behave worse than mine. When I see this, I don't judge the other parents (often lol). I usually just thank God it isn't me at that moment. Every child is different and every child responds differently to different forms of discipline. Just because one technique may have worked for one child, does not mean that it will work for the next. Aside from child abuse, I think all parents should make an effort to be more supportive of eachother and less judgemental. Take care.

the types of children you are talkinbg about are the result of bad or neglectful parenting.... we see it here all the time.. i have three children who were well behaved at home..(becasue they knew from our instruction what is and what is not acceptable behaviour)and equally well behaved in supermarkets or on planes etc.., why ..becasue we have always been INTERESTED in them as young growing people..we had time for them and taught them how to function amongst their peers and elders... it is not rocket science..stop confusing good parenting with showering them with material goods..good parenting is about time and effort and BEING there for your children.... enjoy them as they gfrow up..encourage them in everything they do...time and patience or nuch more important than giving stuff....problem is probably related to the parents themselves..if they have not had good parents how can they know how to bring up their own children....nurture not nature...

i dont know about a fine, but i think the parents should handle it responsibly. dont sit there and ignore your child, take his butt outside so the rest of us aren't punished. they need to express to the child that that sort of behavior is not acceptable.

I do not think you can always blame the parents for a child throwing tantrums in public as the child may have autism or some other type of disability which causes them to do that, which a parent can not control. In some situations, the parent could be blamed for allowing it to happen if they do not discipline their children at all. Very young children are not aware of what they are doing as being wrong.

I think it's normal that kids throw tantrums but the parents have to discipline their child. Children throw tantrums to get what they want and if their parents follow their kids want just to stop their tantrums, their kids would think that their tantrums is effective and they would do it everytime they want something that's why they always have tantrums in the mall, grocery or any store that have toys and anything that attracts them. So I think the parents should ignore this kind of behavior from their kids because the kids would think that it is not effective and they will not do again. And of course, try to talk to your kids that kind of attitude is not good. But try to watch your kid when you ignore their tantrums especially when they're inside a mall or any store because they might break an item.. hehe

Who says they act like angels at home? I know a few of these kids, their like that ALL the time. In most of the cases I know of the parents are rather lax on the decipline. They allow the kids to get away with it at home so the kids do it in public too. With so many people crying wolf when you do decipline your kids it causes a whole nother set of problems, many parents are scared to do anything in public. How could you fine them but yet not allow them to actually take any action?

Tantrums are quite normal in little kids, unfortunately. How you deal with tantrums is usually where the problems lie. Most parents are well aware that kids will throw tantrums and deal with them accordingly, I very much doubt anyone can claim their kid is 100% perfect all the time.

I think that it is not completely the fault of the parents when their kids throw tantrums in public because most kids are like this as they are kids only though we still have many very nice kids who do not. Some kids have bad temper from either the mother or the father. That is not what the kid can do, but I think that kids will become better when they grow older as they get to know more...

I think it varies, depending on the child, the parent, and the situation. With some, it's the parent's fault, because the child knows that, no matter how they behave, the parent won't discipline them in public. With others, they might get emotionally overwhelmed by the whole experience, which is something that neither parent or child can always predict. In still other cases, it's just the child wanting to be the center of attention. I do think that it is important to set rules for behavior, and to make sure the consequences are explained in advance as well. I do NOT think parents should be fined when their children act up, because it's just not always a cut and dried thing.

At times parents are responsible for their childs tantrums, but the child usually knows what they are diong is wrong. If every time the parent goes to a store and the child throws a tantrum to get something, and then the parent gives in that just shows the child to raise a fuss to get what they want. Should they be fined? No way. Kids are exactly that kids. In some cases I've seen parents try to deter their kids from acting up in public, and there are cases when its just not avoidable. Now being on a plane, it's hard for some adults to patiently sit through a 2 or 3 hour flight, let alone expect a young child to. to fine a parent because their child is deciding to act up is a little extreme. I don't think there are any perfect parents out there, every one has their own flaws.

The child probably understands that in order for the parent to get out of feeling embarrassed he/she will manage to buy the child whatever he or she is screaming for. I see this quite a lot in stores, and the parent always ends up buying that "doll" or "car" in order for their child to stop misbehaving. I think getting fined for your child is actually a bit stupid since parents can not control their child's actions. It really is a matter of having your child either respect you or even fear you; I know this sounds unreasonable but I grew up with the fear of my parents and never did loud childish tantrums in public areas.

I wouldn't blame the parents of a child who is younger than about 2.5 to 4 years old, basically a child who yet cannot understand what is being told fully or express in words what he or she is feeling. My baby is 18 months old and she throws tantrums at stores. They are of course very mild and the main reason being she wants to get out of the stroller or the trolley seat I have put her in, she wants to walk around the store. But I fully realize how dangerous it is and also how inconvenient it is for the other shoppers, nobody wants to bump into a child or accidentally run over a trolley over a kid who 's let about loose by the parents. I do not et her out at any cost, try and distract her, firmly tell her to stop crying or if need be i leave the store. It is also for parents to accept that life with children is different. We can't go on shopping for ages with toddlers. They get restless very easily and while we get a lot of pleasure, it is a torture for them to sit quiet through the shopping spree.

I do experienced the same kind of attitude from my kid and my nieces. Maybe they just wanted to be seen and or complimented sometimes. And maybe we also did not guide them in the way they should show in public. Or maybe there are so many dont's that we are imposing to them that sometimes they are fed up. But kids are kids and they will realize later on their mistakes. Just inform them that what theydid is wrong and should not be repeated.

getting fined?? That's takin it way overboard in my opinion. No kid is perfect and even the good kids have their moments. If the kid is consistently being a stubborn brat, thn I do beleive it' the parents fault. There's notthing that an old fashioned whooping can't solve. I'm not a fan of hitting, but meeting some certain ppl everyday, I wished theirparents disciplined them like that.

yes in away I do because you should get after them for doing it the first time and they wont do it again