Dads Coming Home Sunday!
By webeishere
@webeishere (36313)
United States
November 3, 2007 12:10am CST
Okay most here know I am my fathers caregiver and he had some problems recently. He was hospitalized, had some surgery, then into a nursing home for physical threapy and occupational therapy. Well don't get too excited/happy for me jusy yet though. I got a call this afternoon (Friday) from the home. His medicaid assistance is up so he has no free time left at the home. Anymore time there he pays for out of his own pockets. Now the shocker news. The nursing and therapists say he has been refusing the PT & OT for the past few weeks. They had never mentioned thids till now which ticked me off but that's not the problem. dad has been telling us they haven't had him up & walking. So the deal is he is coming home Sunday anyhow and he is going to get a lecture from me and I am now going to be his Physical and Occupational therapist. He will not be babied as he is capable of walking, he is just lAZY TO DO IT. tHEY DIDN'T SEEM To puish him but I will to a certain extent. I am happy to have him back but it is going to be rough. I have a meeting Monday with Social Services to see what services I can get for assistance with taking care of him. Thanks and sorry it's so long this time.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
12 people like this
26 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
3 Nov 07
Grandpa Bob I hope you do make him do these things
He can't just rely on other People helping him he has to help to
I know it will be tough but I am sure that you will do it
My thoughts will be with you and I really hope that your Dad will not make it to rough for you
3 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Oh things are going to be a LOT different than before he went to the hospital etc. I am not going to take a lot of his lazy BS and what not. Plus he is being told what he has been contributing to the household doesn't cover the basics for him anymore either. It's been the same amount since he moved in here. I quit a job to tend to him and now I should have gotten a raise even from him I feel for food, soaps, other basics etc etc. Anyhow......Thanks as usual also.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169477)
• United States
3 Nov 07
One of the problems with PT, OT, and in fact any other service provided in a nursing home or other care facility is that the resident has the legal right to refuse it. Unless you were his guardian or durable power of attorney for health care, or your dad signed a waiver, under HIPAA laws, they were not to tell you anything. I bet he will be more interested and motivated living with you at home than he was in the nursing home. I hope that Social Services can answer any questions you have as caregiver. It is the pits that we do not have a way to care for our loved ones without either shelling out thousands a month, or totally impoverishing them first. You know, we take care of our kids, then turn around to care for our grandkids, or our elderly parentsl,or both. I think that keeps us going, gives us a reason to live.
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
HAHAHA! That's what I just said above silly. Hee hee!! Well after telling dad the situation about me being his PT Therapist I went to talk to the nurse and the wife & daughter stayed with dad. He got off the bed and went to the bathroom without any help. HAHAHAHA! The staff chewed him out for doing it unassisted by staff. I feel he did it to prove to me & my wife he can walk etc when he wants to. HAHAHA!!
HAPPY POSTINGS FROAM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169477)
• United States
3 Nov 07
When I answer from e-mail I do not see all the responses that have been made. From personal experience as a social services designess, I can tell you that what we do to our elders really stinks.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
i KNOW, i WAS GOOFING AROUND AS i DIDN'T SEE BOTH THESE RESPONSES AS WELL TILL i ADDED MY COMMENT. hahahaha
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
That's what I am hoping for anyhow that things get
back to normal as far as how he was presurgery. Thanks.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
4 Nov 07
That is so annoying that you visit so regularly, & not once did the nursing staff tell you that your Dad is refusing PT & OT. That is not right, as you needed to know this, so as it give you a chance to talk your Dad into sense, plus plan for the future if he keeps refusing.
If he stayed, & had to pay out of his own pocket, where does the money come from? His aged pension? I am fairly sure thats what happens here, if an eldely person can't care for themself, they go into a nursing home, & if they don't have private funds, it is taken out of their pension. The whole pension is used.
And now you are expected to be a PT & OT! That is just not appropiate, & not fair putting this burden on you.
What would happen to your Dad if you were unable to have him home? A lot of people couldn't have an aged parent at home, for either lack of space, or lack of time & capability to look after them.
See what asistance you can get, as you said & hope it is sufficient.
I am sure you are shocked by this turn of events, & you have my sympathy.
Please keep us informed.
PS. I received your PM. Thanks.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
4 Nov 07
He has a lot of money ion the banks so he'd be paying it personally. It's retirement benefits and SSI etc savings from work and all. I have to talk with Social Services Monday. He is staying there till at least then. I need some type of help be it little or big help. I may have to upgrade my home for the purpose of getting help to make it handicapped accesible. That means a ramp on my deck, railings in the bathroom, getting rid of the floor rugs etc. So damn much to think about and do in this situation. Thanks.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@blackbriar (9075)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Glad to hear dad is coming home finally but, really, the facility he was staying at should of let you know right away he was refusing his therapy instead of waiting till he was released. Now it's going to be tougher on you to have to do it all. Good luck and hope dad finally puts forth some effort into walking again.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Read response #15 this explains why I feel they did not contact me till the day they decided to not bother with the PT & OT with dad anymore.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDAP BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Whom do I contact about this though?
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7578)
• Canada
3 Nov 07
Well I'd say he needs to get some exercise, he's a big man and otherwise he'll loose mussel tone and eventually not able to walk at all. I also think the older we get the eazier this can happen. So does this mean he's out of the diapers too ? I sure hope so for your sake. I really feel for you and your situation here. My brother in law lives with us and I'm his primary care giver, actually I'm the only one that seems to give a rip and until you do what we do as caregivers the rest of the world can not fully understand the whole story. All the best always Bob.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
As far as I know he hasn't walked since he enetered the hospital
about Sept 16th. So it's been about 6 weeks I think. Grrrr! Well
if he doesn't walk he will be wearing them. Ugghhh!! I haven't
changed a diaper in over 25 years. HAHAHAHA!! That's true. Very stressful to say the least. Ugghh!
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@aliasad (1567)
• Pakistan
3 Nov 07
Well Grandpa~ I would like to just add that you are lucky, once again God has given you the chance to take care of your father. Sure its not an easy job but what I have learnt is "You are really lucky" and I do believe that your father will be very happy whilst being with you and your family. Nursing hmmmm I think he needs some Blood Relation Warming in the cold weather been started :) Give him a BIGGGGGGG HUGGGGGGG from me too. Good Luck and see you with your dad :] [[[Hugs]]]
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well I will tell him ya said hi. he isn't the hugging type
really. HAHAHA! thanks also. It got pretty cold here last night.
Down to 20 degrees.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
3 Nov 07
OH, dear. You have my sympathy. I know you will be glad on the one hand, to have your Dad back. But it sounds like you really have some work cut out for you! I don't envy you that! It is hard enough to be a caregiver without having to be a therapist, too. I will be keeping you and your Dad in my prayers.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
yeah it's been kind of lonely in this house all day by myself. I was lost at most times. Hee hee!! Yeah caregivi9ng bites. Stressful as hell.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@OURDEW (4809)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Hi Grandpa Bob, I will be thinking about you on Sunday. Your dad is so lucky to have you take care of him. I really hope that listens to what you have him do for his own good. Why didn't they tell you that he refused the therapy? Good Luck and be careful with your back.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well he won't be happy that's for sure.
But what other choice has he got.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well thank you very much. He is recovered but just too lazy to walk is all. He has been lazy since moving in with me 4 years or so ago. HAHA!
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!`
1 person likes this
@Feona1962 (7526)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Hi Grandpa Bob, I am glad Grandpa Senior will be coming home..but I am sad to hear he hasn't been walking and has refused PT and OT...Maybe once he is at your home he will want to walk and will be happy again...Being at a nursing home can be depressing even for those that work there...Time will tell...Enjoy all your time together...Big hugs to you and grandpa senior...
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well I decided to wait a day longer. Now he will come home
no ealier than Monday now after we talk to Social Services.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@fab315 (1231)
• Philippines
3 Nov 07
Hello!
Yeey! that's great news grandpa bob..your dad will be back home. He'll be back into the loving and caring hands of yours..*hehehe* Poor dad, in big trouble..gonna be punished big time by grandpa bob..lol! don't be too hard on him eh? lol! Your dad is such a lucky one, having such amazing family like you. All will be well and your dad will be up and walking soon...sooner..Take care and you don't need to say sorry grandpa bob...we all enjoy reading your post..how long it may be..have a great weekend! *smile*
ciao! c",)
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well he isn't going to be so lucky for the first few weeks after he gets home I think. HAHAHA!! Well he is going to be either a vegetable and sit ib his bed all the time or be a man and walk about at least a little. besides I'm not looking forward to diapers for an old man. Eww! I like the new(?) avatar also.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
3 Nov 07
thats great news there my friend and i hope all goes well for you and your family.you better take care of yourself too,becareful with your back.you are a great son and i am sure your father appreciates all that you have done for him.hope he starts walking around soon because he does need to do that,he cant be lazy,he has to get those muscles moving.take care.pattie
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well he is the type that won't say so but I know he does.
And as I stated before my health is first and foremost.
I can't help him if I'm not healthy. Thanks as usual also.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
4 Nov 07
Hey Grandpa, I am glad to hear that you dad is coming home tomarrow. I know what you are talking about in the Nursing Homes, I woked in the Nursing Homes for 10 years and I have worked in a few in my time that some of the aides in them did not care much about the people to do their jobs right and alot of the residents were not cared for like they should have been. I will keep your dad in my prayers and I wish him a fast recovery. Good Luck to you and your family because you are getting ready to take on a very tought job. You should be able to get some sort of help from Social Services to help pay for you caring for you dad or for even Home Health Care to come in and work with your dad. Big Hugs to you all.
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Cogratulations and Good Luck! I never understood the whole "sorry times up, go home" medical care philosophy but oh well. As for your dad's attitude, he sounds a little like my grandma. She was in a nursing home for awhile after a fall and it was the same thing-"they aren't doing therapy" except the nurses would say she refused. Now she's home and gets around her apartment by sitting in a computer chair. She doesn't even try to walk.....or lose the weight that makes it harder to walk. Your dad will be better off having you there to "push" hima little. He's a lucky man to have you for a son!
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Oh they didn't say he "had" to come home. HAHAHA. They
just wanted income and financial records is all. HAHAHAHA!
They called mostly to state his refusal to participate in
his therapy. He isn't going to be a happy camper that's for
sure. HAHAHA! If I get upset I can at least walk away he can't.
Tee hee hee. Thanks also.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well Grandpa, I hope it all works out. It sucks when the insurance/medicaid stops paying. You are automatically well enough to go home...make sure you take care of yourself too. Be careful with your back and don't do too much.. sending all my best wishes to you !!
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
In reality no matter how dad feels my health comes first and
foremost. If I am not healthy I can't take care of him. Thanks.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
4 Nov 07
Grandpa Bob, I am glad that you are getting your dad back home, sorry that your giong to have to dole out some tough love to get him up and walking again. I hope that you can get some assistance from social services to assist in helping you care for him. Keep us posted on his progress and yours as well!
2 people like this
@theprogamer (10532)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I'm glad you are getting your father back Bob. Good luck doing what needs to be done with your father and the therapy. Good luck taking care of the other parts of this situation.
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Yeah I've got to rearrange the house and furniture again. I was not expecting him back till after the Holidays. Oh well. HAHAHA! Thanks.
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
