How long did it take you to move on?
By katisaurus
@katisaurus (1038)
Canada
November 5, 2007 12:47pm CST
I wouldn't say it was a real relationship, but I was sort of with this guy for a year and a half.. he was definitely the first guy I've loved..and really truly knew I loved him. After we broke up we still got along okay, but things got tough... He just recently moved to British Columbia (After living in Toronto Ontario)... And we've been broken up for almost two months now, but I'm finding it so incredibly hard to forget him. He treated me unfairly; accused me of lying to him, cheating on him, and I don't think he ever really trusted me, which I tried to convince myself wasn't true. So it should be easy to move on and get over him, right? And now that he's gone it should be easier because I don't have to see him, and it'll be a while before we even talk, if we ever talk again..
I guess this is a bit of a rant tied in with question.. but if you've ever had to get over that first true true love.. How long did it take you, and how'd you do it?
2 people like this
13 responses
@lucklystar (54)
• China
6 Nov 07
The last year,I lost my exgirlfriend, we broke up.
we stay together four years. it lasted all of university time.I loved her very much. there r two lover in my class, we is one of it .we get along well with each other. my classmates r very admire our.But, unluckly last year,she said she did not love me and she wanted to broke up .
I do not foget her at all times, always i recall the times we together, but she do not love me and have another boyfriend.
I do not know what i do next.
@akacipher (64)
• India
6 Nov 07
Well i dude no one can understand your situation better than me!!! I have seen it all........ Its been three months since that happened, The only way i seeked solace is by falling in love with my good friend! And now that i am over it ( more or less) i just realize one thing, its we who decide what happens to us and how we live!! Two months of melancholy, i was so bad at that time had started drinking smoking, weed and all that and then When i decided to give my melancholy and choose life i found it, i did it!!! I think it is very necessary for any1 to have a purpose in life.... when i had my ex she was my purpose and when she went away i had none left!!! I was destroying my own life, and then i got my good friend as my new gf.... it took time for me to actually start loving her like that and as i was falling in love i was moving away from all those bad things!!! Today she is the purpose of my life.... wanna keep her happy always, i love her man!! Anyways my point is.... you had your whole life planned around her, now that she aint there all plans have failed you dont know what to do... in short you got no purpose to do what you are doing!! So try and define the reason for your life, its not necessary it should be some other girl ( although that worked for me), you can choose success...... Trust me there is no better way to slap hard your ex other than making her notice your success, let her know what she missed out on!!! Look inside and you will find a purpose............. Best of luck dude!!! hope you find peace soon
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
5 Nov 07
For me it depends on how much I loved the guy as to how long it took me to get over him. Time will heal all wounds, well at least some of them anyway. Maybe some of the reason you miss and think about him is because he treated you badly and you need to fix your "man picker" lol. Give yourself some time to heal and do some good stuff for yourself. Good luck -Amber
@katisaurus (1038)
• Canada
5 Nov 07
Yeah.. I mean for the first year or so I really felt like he trusted me, but towards the end of our relationship it sort of hit me that he didn't really trust me..atleast not as much as he said he did.Which was a kick in the butt. When we were together he treated me amazingly. He made me feel great. But when we weren't together it was all arguements and blah blah.. I know I'll move on, it's just wow...you realize how different things are, and how a year seems like forever when you're with someone you really love. lol
And thank you. :)
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
11 Nov 07
i am married to a guy who i thought was my knight and shining armor. we have 4 children.
but after living with him 8 years it was time for some change. i need to move on. got my children and left him. moving on is healthy that means you accepted things that happened from the past.
if he didnt trust you what is there to love him. loving someone means trusting. you dont deserve him. you are such a special person you will find someone more than him who will treat you special
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
hello there. Getting over a broken heart, especially when it's been a first love can be rather difficult. Before I met my husband, I had a boyfriend for 9 months. I knew and felt that he truly loved me too but because of circumstances, we had to part ways. That was the time that I thought I could literally feel my heart breaking. There were no nights that I didn't cry with what happened to us. And to see other sweet couples was a real heart-stabber. It was too painful but in order for me to move on with my life, I had to bear every painful memories I had with him.
It was two lonely years before I was able to feel truly happy again. And I knew it was finally the time that I have gone through the process of heartache and pain. And I have succeeded doing it. I had more positive outlook in life and my optimism came back. And I just knew that love will be just around the corner for me again.
Now, I'm married for 6 years to a wonderful if sometimes, frustrating man. And we have a son that we just totally adore.
So you see, katisaurus. Life is just like that. We fall in love and we get heartbroken. But that should not stop us from falling in love again. Because we just might never know that the second time we do fall in love, will bring the contentment and peace we're just looking for.
@irajohann (95)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
I met my first boyfriend during my first year in college. He decided to transfer to another campus and we had to be apart. We decided to break up since long distance relationships rarely survive. I met my second boyfriend after college. It took me longer to be in a relationship not because I wasn't ready, but because the right boy hasn't come along my way yet. I think you need both time and the right person before you can really say that you're over your ex.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
6 Nov 07
Let me tell you i faced a similar situation.
Although that guy was not my love, but I cared for him and thought him to be my good friend.
But he chaeted of me and also accused me falsely.
It was very hard for me to believe my ears whom i believed so much.
Its hard to move on.
You must engage yourself in activities and try not to think of him.
@aninspiration (346)
• United States
6 Nov 07
I dont know if you ever get over it you just move on and keep living
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
6 Nov 07
In all of the relationships I have been in and there have been many, it just takes time. Keep moving forward, getting up in the morning, doing your normal routine, working, pick up some hobbies, see friends more often. It took me a year to get over my first love before I could even commit to another relationship. Things happen for a reason and I firmly believe that. So, I am sure there is someone right for you, just give it time and don't let it get you down. Some people who lose someone they love, don't bounce back and find themselves not being able to trust someone with their heart again. I find this to be very sad. I do believe that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before.
@gkings2003 (82)
• Kenya
5 Nov 07
Yo just take it easy. Even me i had a lady whom i really loved only to part each other the last minute. She got married and me i am still not yet. We still date these days and she loves me more than before. she aleays regretes but nothing i can do coz she is married. She even come to visit me. so just take it easy and one day you will get a loving guy but i knoow he also misses you and love u.
@laurika (4532)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I am sure it takes long to move on , but it looks like the guy don't deserve you. So i would built my forgetting on this. I know you truly love him, but when he never really did trust you, was it worth it? I am sure you deserve better guy. You should get along with your friends and go more out and try to do somethign you enjoy, maybe find some new hobby or something new you want to learn. It is never easy with me either to move on, but the life continue and we have to used to het live withou person , we once loved.
@milkfish (371)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
Moving on from a broken relationship is never easy, much more if it was a long relationship. My first boyfriend and I were together for 8 years already until another girl came into the picture. It was a nasty break up but I decided that it was the best thing to do. It took me another 3 years to finally find closure and have peace inside me. We grieve for sometime, learn to accept the fact that its over, then we move on. Life never stops. We grieve for a broken relationship but things like these happens. The say that its not because you don't love each other anymore, its just that Love chooses not to stay.
@kangel48446 (507)
• United States
6 Nov 07
My exboyfriend and I have been broke up since June '05, my feelings are just as strong as the day we broke up. We did not work out because he cheated on me with his exgirlfriend
and we still messed around together, even after we claimed to move on. That was my biggest mistake because I'm still not over him.. it does help if I keep my distance but we live in the same town together, which makes it impossible to forget him! All I can say is time does heal..
