Rules of the House

In general... it is the woman... as most men are not interested about running an home. If she don't work... she is 110 per cent in charge of everything. If she does work... she probably still has to cover 80 per cent of it. The man simply has no interest in it. And even if he does... he would usually get it wrong. After all... even in this day and age... one of the main reasons men get married is to have a woman looking after his home. It is not chauvinism... it is the way nature intended it... and you cannot change nature without having a climate change. laugh.

Whatever is good,orderly,descent,clean and of general acceptance becomes the rule of the house regardless of the who is the bread winner.

Hello SViswan, Thanks for yourpost.A new famaly is built by both a man and a woman,so its neither mans famaly or a womans famaly and its very much similar to a business partnership the only difference is husband wife relationship contains the properties of love emotions feelings responsibilities and reciprocrations towards each other.Its a joint effort,now the problem starts when one of the partners fails to perform in certain areas of his/her own responsibilities or if a partner suddenly becomes selfcentered or egocentric or wants to be called the sole ruler of the company or his/her own famaly.I think this is absolute foolishness as he/she should think hundred times that if he/she starts internal fighting within his/her on company the company/famaly would fail to produce successful desired outcome in the future at the same time dream of happy loving peaceful famaly life will be destroyed and life will be hell. Thanks again.

Well I'm retired but my husband works..in our house though who "brings home the bacon" and gender has nothing to do with it...Being the headstrong person tht i am, the fact that I need to have more control AND the simple fact that the kids are mine from a previous "marriage", for the most part I am the rule maker in the house....HOWEVER my husband is the money man, he makes the decisions when it comes to the bills, finances etc etc....

The idea that just one person should be able to make rules drives me crazy. I know some people who live their lives happily following orders from their spouse, but I could never do so. I am an adult, and I make my own decisions. Rules for our child are made between my husband and myself, not by just one of us, and we don't make rules for each other. I guess different people are happy living their lives in different ways, but I wouldn't live in a house where someone else made rules for me. I see making your own decisions as part of being a responsible adult. Money has nothing to do with it for me... I just don't see how the two things are related. Just because someone makes more money shouldn't mean they somehow rule over their household. We're talking about human beings here, not toys or things than can be bought and sold.

In our case, we decide jointly which rules to be followed. Sometimes it is me...who has the final say...in the rules...or sometimes it is my better half who decides what steps to take. I mean, there is a flexibility between us....each one can agree to other's suggestions and vice versa...each one is given equal opportunity, the reason being that we both are a working couple. Very Good Post indeed! Have a great day! Deepak

Well my father is the one who used to be our bread-winner back then, my mom is the one's left to tend to us. My father is the one giving the rules, but my mother is the one who applies it and makes sure that it is followed. But now we're all grown up, we all have our differnet roles and responsibilities.

It makes not difference who brings home the bacon or who brings home the fattest check...A home is made by two people the man and the woman, both have their hands full.I think the house rules should be .based on the two adults that occupy the home, mainly the wife and husband.They should stand as one unit and togeather make the house rules...

I can't speak for other familis but I don't think there is any set rule or that it has anything to do with income, just who is there to discipline and/or who has the personality to discipline. In my house it's a little complicated because we also have the children's grandparents here (and it's actually their house still) but in terms of "my children" I'm in charge (except with grandpa because he hates me and will do the opposite of what I say just for spite). My s/o, the children's dad, is no good at discipline. If I left it to him the kids would be running wild and doing whatever they wanted. The way I look at it is, yes he's the "bread winner" but I'M the one at home with these children so they need to behave the way I want them to. I just grounded my step-son last night by the way.

It is easier when there are no children in the house, but we did actually sit down and work out the rules before we got married. Not only did we plan ahead about what rules might be necessary, but we planned ahead as to what methods we would use to change the rules if warranted. It is a great wonder to me that everyone doesn't do this. If they cannot agree on the most important things before they marry, then couples might realize they are not meant to be together. I-Luv-U makes some good points, but he forgets to consider the possibility that the wife may be more educated than the husband, and what is the woman then, Rooster-pecked? It is easy to say that both partners work whether it is in the home or outside, and thus are equal, but there is a tendency for the "higher" breadwinner to shift into a position of control whether it is overt of subtle. In one family I knew, the college-educated woman with several small children was so frustrated at the way her high-earning husband took her home-making work for granted that she presented him with a bill. They finally agreed on a monthly amount that went to her not for the mortgage or groceries, but to compensate her for the many long hours she put in at home that made it impossible for her to go out and earn her own money but instead made it possible for him to advance in his career. When he started paying for the work, he took greater notice of it and started respecting her more and started setting a better example for his children.

It differs from one family to another. * If both are educated & respect each other - they discuss and together frame the rules. * If the husband is educated and the wife is uneducated - then it will likely be the husband. * If the husband is a henpecked one - then it will be his wife. * If the husband is too busy to take care of the family, like for e.g; he is a busy entrepreneur or a celebrity - then the wife might frame the rules as per the conditions. * If they are living in a joint family - then the older lot( their elders) might do it.

well I dont know in other families but when I was growing up they both (my father and mother) had agreed on their rules together so you never saw them arguing of who's rules they should follow. My father was easier to manipulate (oh please daddy I love you so very much) but when we went to far he called my mother to deal with us. In a way it is same in my own family now my husband melts infront of my son and gives up before I have a chance to say a thing (when it comes to home discipline) outside it me who gives up when it comes to buying things for him (oh come on its only $5). We do sit down and decide what is allowed and what is not but does he ever listen NOOOOO.

Hi SViswan, Well I dont really think we have rules. I mean there are things in the house that we just do, and we share the responsibilty. Its just me and my hubby. We both cook, clean, take out the trash stuff like that. Ok I guess I have one rule realy, I dont like shoes in the house. I have reserved a spot by the front door for shoes, and I take mine off as soon as I get in the door, Ive trained my hubby to do the same. Most of our company will, but if they dont I dont have a fit. I just vacuum after they leave. LOL Bay Lay Gray xx

In my home we both post the house rules a relationship is based on 2 people and we believe that if there is going to be rules we will enforce them together.

ours is a joint family.so,my father-in-law makes the rules and we have to abide by it.

In my house my husband brings money it single income family so he freames the rules so ihave to follow