Relax, relax, oh, you are relaxed?
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85981)
United States
January 9, 2008 7:43pm CST
Did you ever get a headache and someone told you to relax? I've had migraines since I was 8, and later a neck injury increased the severity and frequency of them. My dad kept telling me to relax so I wouldn't get a migraine. I kept thinking, but I AM relaxed! Much to my relief, one of my neurologists explained to him once I can't help getting the migraines. Most can't be helped.
For a month I had a rash like thing on both wrists, and after aloe and various creams didn't help, I went to my doctor last week. He told me it was stress. And I was like, yes, I have a lot going on in my life, but I also feel good about things. I'm not stressed. He gave me a cream that might or might not help it since he thinks it is stress.
So has anyone ever told you to do something like that, and you are relaxed, you are NOT worrying, and you aren't stressed? Do they assume you are in a moood or attitude that you truly are not in? I understand someone's concern, but do you get frustrated trying to change their perspective? Or do you even try?
6 people like this
17 responses
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
10 Jan 08
Hello dear AmbiePam. Speaking of migraine, I think that I may be also suffering from it. My case is like this: sometimes when I take a morning shower in cold weather without using the electric drier, it would later develop to migraine in a couple of hours. Then I have to take some capsules for the purpose of eliminating it, otherwise it would become more and more serious. Also it might happen after taking a nap. I have no idea how come this happens, but I have never been to a doctor for it. I am wondering what effective way can help get rid of this migraine even if I am not feeling stressful. Thanks for your discussion.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
10 Jan 08
I use only ordinary pillow, but I would like to try the stuff you have mentioned here. Thank you so much for your response and advice.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
10 Jan 08
It annoys me when I have Breathing Problems because of my Illness and I get told to relax I mean have they ever tried to relax when you can't breathe????
Or when People say do not worry
Would they not worry
I see what you are saying and it is very annoying
You see you are relaxed but you are still being told to relax well you can only relax so much
I am suppose to relax but I can't relax and it is terrible when People say that and you just want to tell them be quiet lol
@GardenGerty (157873)
• United States
14 Jan 08
On very rare occasions I get severe headaches that do not go away,I do not know if they are migraines or not, but I am pretty sure that once they are on the way, I cannot prevent them. If I take magnesium, consistently, and take care of my sinus issues, and get just enough, not too much coffee, and get enough sleep, then I do not seem to get them. I am not doing any of those things right now. So yesterday I had a headache all day. Hope it is another six months until I get another. It was bad enough I could not sleep, and nothing I took helped, but I do not think "relaxing" would help, but it might make it worse to have someone try to get me to relax.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
10 Jan 08
Well I do know that stress can contribute to physical ailments, but that doesn't mean every time you have a headache or rash that you are stressed.. Of course being relaxed would keep the symptoms mild..
No one has told me that stress has caused physical problems, but my husband insist that stress causes me to have emotional problems, so I guess that would be the same.. I just tell him that I am not stressed and that he is probably stressed, that I have no reason to be stressed..lol
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
10 Jan 08
Well sometimes you just got to take a break and rethink what is important.
Like today, my son came home from school "starving" as he likes to say. So I made some garlic bread to hold him over until the spaghetti was done. He took one bite and said, I don't like it..
He asked for oatmeal, so I made him oatmeal, he ate like maybe half and spilled the rest. If I hadn't stopped and thought, "accidents happen, he didn't do this on purpose", I would have gotten upset. But I realized that maybe he had a rough day and so I gave him a hug, made him more oatmeal. (which btw, I burn the bottom, so I too was not having a great day)
And when I burned it, I said, you know, accidents happen and he said, yeah, sometimes we call them mistakes..lol I gave him another hug and we both got relaxed over the spilled/burned food...:)
Some thing are accidents and some things are out of our control. Learn from our mistakes and the things out of our control, I give over to G♥d..:)
1 person likes this
@laurika (4532)
• United States
14 Jan 08
I think there is two kinds of stress. some can be really bad and other is very good for person. I was thinking about this discussion for a long time and i think like i am in stress all the time. But it is like part of my life, like i just cannot relax , because i would be bored..?? It is kinda hard to explain, but i think there are people like me who think they relax, but they mind is working on 100% all the time. And for other people that could be like real bad stress. what you think about my theory? I guess I had pretty big phantasy. lol
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
10 Jan 08
I was told that if I relax, I could get pregnant. Well it did not help, and I figured is I say I do not want children or I do not care, God would make sure I did not get any. Well all that relaxation kept me from finding out the real cause until it was too late.
On the other hand, if I get stressed, I break out in shingles, but that is on the outside, not in the middle.
I doubt that cream will help. What you probably have is an allergy to a cosmetic or some product you use.
@AmbiePam (85981)
• United States
10 Jan 08
It's the oddest thing. I hardly wear makeup, maybe two days out of the week, so nothing gets on my hands. But I've worn the same makeup (foundation) and perfume for a long time. I was wondering if maybe the city of Norman put something new in their water. Because sometimes when I dry my hands, my wrists are still damp. And although they aren't covered, they do air dry.
@AmberNormandin (883)
• United States
10 Jan 08
i know the feeling. I dont like for people to tell me how IIII am feeling. I know how I feel, they dont. It makes you frustrated and stressed to try and convince them that you are not frustrated or stressed! I find its better to just stop talking to them, or walk away rather than to try and make them think they are right when i get very irritated by trying to get my point across!
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
10 Jan 08
Sometimes it is best not to argue with people. They are going to think what they want to regardless to what you say. Now, I recently started getting migraine headaches from stress. When I am really stressed out about something, my head will start pounding like crazy.
I have had a skin rash called Eczema off and on since I was a child. In my adult years, they started saying that one of the causes was stress. I know that one of the causes is the stainless steel on the back of a watch. I have to coat it with clear finger nail polish to keep it from irritating my skin.
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
10 Jan 08
Personally, I am the type of person who can be freaking out and not realize it until I fall apart. But, then again, I do sometimes bury my head in the sand. I guess that is why people keep trying to tell you about stress, because they keep dealing with people like me! It must get very frustrating for you.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85981)
• United States
10 Jan 08
I think they do that to me because I'm so young, and people my age weren't 'supposed' to be that sick so young. At least I think that is one of the reasons. As for you, you need someone to carry all your burdens for you. I know Jesus will do that, but I sure wish I was around to give you a great big hug.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
10 Jan 08
I am uptight alot of the time. But like you don't think I am. I don't get headaches luckily.....but stiff neck sometimes. I got some samples of tension relief over the counter pills and never used them until my son had a vicious headache one night..took a couple of those and it went away. Then my daughter in law took them and it helped her back ache so she could sleep. So one day of having a headache at work...an unusually stressful day I took a couple and when they started I realized how stressed I actually was. Yes...my kids are at me all the time saying about the same thing that was said to you...I ignore them now. At first when they started analizing me I took it to heart..now I just shake my head and go on my way! LOL
1 person likes this
@cosylvia (399)
• China
10 Jan 08
hello,recently i dont feel well,coz my spine bone feel bad....when i sat for a long time and the change a position...so stressed..never know how to relax..wish you have a good day,i thirst for a good spine bone,wish my friend have a good and right position face the computer...cherish the spine bone...
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5198)
• Canada
10 Jan 08
Yes this has happened,thats when i say "Well i was not stressed before but since now that you told me to relax,im stressed!".I just ignore them,sometimes i bite back with a smart remark of assuming im stressed when im not.They mostly all assume this,but hey they are not in our mind,so they can not tell if we are stressed or not.If im stressed i say so,i admit it,but i dont need someone telling me im stressed if i know i already am or am not.This is one of the reasons why i stay away from doctors,haha.Some of them go by their "old fashion" doctor books and no matter how much information we tell them about how we are feeling,its always has to be the opposite and try this,if this does not work try this then.Most of them think they are always right about a diagnose but when really they are not and dont even know how to diagnose something,instead they hand out prescriptions like candy.Opps i got side tracked,sorry,hehe,a small ranting.Nope i let them think im stressed when im not.
Peanutjar:)
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
10 Jan 08
I too have migraines. So I know what you are speaking about. The only thing that helps me is to be shut in a very dark room. My daughter breaks out in hives occasionally. Still trying to see if she is allegic to anything. At four I don't think hers is stress related. Yes people have told me to relax. If I believe I am it generally makes me tense. So it has the opposite effect.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
26 Apr 08
I've recently had certain family members think that I was either mad, upset or didn't like another family member. The truth was there were no hurt feelings, I wasn't mad or upset and the whole thing was was a misunderstanding on their part. At first I was determined to call up the family that was involved (they live in another state) however they won't take my calls so I've decided p*ss on it...I'm going on with my life and it's their loss. If it had been me I would have at least asked if there was a problem instead of jumping to the conclusion that there was.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@AmbiePam (85981)
• United States
10 Jan 08
Good point. He asked me if I wore gloves, because that could have been something to agitate the skin, but I don't. We went over and over what allergy it could be. He then turned to the idea of stress, but now I'm really paying attention to what I come in contact with. If it is something I could help, I'd like to know.
