Supporting a friend going through a divorce

United States
February 3, 2008 11:32pm CST
Ok so here is my scenario any thoughts are appreciated. A very good friend of mine is having issues with her husband and has come to me to vent/get advice. I know she is coming to me because we have always been there for eachother and she just needs a friend. However it is hard for me because the situation that she is in is very similar to the situation I was in when my ex and I split up. But with that being said her situation is alot different. I don't want her to make decisions based on MY experience and I don't want to offer advice based on my experience. How do I seperate the to relationships when they are so close?? How would you support your friend in this instance?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@pergammano (7691)
• Canada
29 Feb 08
You are in the middle of a broil! But the only thing that I could pass on is to be as wise, as kind, as available, and as non-judgmental as possible. One thing that I have found is that I do not share the experiences of my divorce as it may cloud their thoughts! I learned the hard way, now is the time to be the listener.
• United States
2 Mar 08
Thank you. This is what has seemed to be working so far. :)
• Canada
2 Mar 08
Seems like you are the best friend that she could have at a trying time like this. As you know, time is a great healer.
@lightningd (1041)
• United States
4 Feb 08
My advice would be to be there for her to vent, a shoulder to cry on, and a support for her if she decides to divorce. As far as giving her advice, I'd just tell her that you aren't the one to tell her how to live her life or what to do, but you want her to be happy and you'll be there for her to vent, and support her no matter what she decides. Maybe that is a way you can distance your divorce from the equation. Hope that helps.
• United States
4 Feb 08
Thank you. It does seem like keeping a caring distance would probably be best. Be there but don't give/offer advice as to what to do. :)
@lightningd (1041)
• United States
4 Feb 08
My advice would be to be there for her to vent, a shoulder to cry on, and a support for her if she decides to divorce. As far as giving her advice, I'd just tell her that you aren't the one to tell her how to live her life or what to do, but you want her to be happy and you'll be there for her to vent, and support her no matter what she decides. Maybe that is a way you can distance your divorce from the equation. Hope that helps.