How would you have reacted?
By AngelNicki
@AngelNicki (412)
United States
February 6, 2008 6:36pm CST
I was thinking about a disturbing childhood memory I have.
When I was about twelve, a friend of mine invited me to go with her and her sister to the birthday party of the sister's friend. The birthday girl had a younger brother who had Down syndrome. The younger brother acted like any 7-year-old boy would at his sister's birthday party... trying to steal the attention of his big sister's friends, eating lots of birthday cake, and often hugging his sister!
When the party was over, my friend's parents picked my friend, her sister and I up. They were asking us about the birthday party. My friend's mother asked, "Was the little moron there?" Then she started laughing and saying things like, "How was the little moron?" (Keep in mind, this was actually in the mid-nineties, so we're not talking 1952 or anything like that!)
I remember feeling embarrassed, and I actually tried to express that it wasn't nice to make fun of the little boy with Down syndrome... snd speaking up like that is hard, when you're twelve years old and its your friend's MOTHER who is talking! The friend's dad chimed in and said, "You're right, Nicki, they're people like everyone else," but with the feeling that he was just trying to even things out.
I went home and told my mom about it, but I don't think she really reacted. My friend's mother was a good friend of my mom's at the time.
I just couldn't believe that an adult woman, the mother of my friend, and the friend of my mother, had said things like that!
For all you parents, if your child came home and told you that a friend's mother had made negative remarks against someone because of their special needs, race, religion, etc, how would you react?
4 people like this
15 responses
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
I'd straighten their narrow minds for starters. Even if they retort about it, they are still the ones who are not being adults enough to consider people who happen to be like that.
Often, whenever people tend to make fun of others, especially during high school when some of my classmates would say that she's like this and the other one ain't so or so, I'd simply say that, in case the one commenting says, "Look at her braces, she's like a robot!"
I would exaggerate, "Yeah, and you are so much prettier with your attitude like that.."
Then they'd have a comeback like, "You have a crush on her, don't yah?"
I'll simply answer back, "I see you envy her about it."
Well, something like that. I know it quite distant with what was posted. Anyway, I'm just thankful that I'm somewhat normal and I'd remind them about it when they try to ridicule others who happens to have shortcomings.
@loudhummer14 (535)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
well that friend has really set a bad example to the children. prejudice! prejudice! prejudice! surely, i would have to explain to my child that what my friend did was bad -- and that even she was bad doesn't mean we have to stop being friends already. it just shows that people are different. and it doesn't mean that if i am friends with a bad person -- i would be bad like her.
@GardenGerty (157907)
• United States
21 Mar 08
First I would say that you were very brave, and that your mom and dad had raised you to be very perceptive and caring.I would explain to my child that my adult friend had not learned much about special people. I would compliment my child for being so bright. I would express regret that my adult friend was not very smart.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
7 Feb 08
I would explain to them that it was wrong and depending on how well I knew the parent, I would probably go to that parent and ask they not talk like that while my child is in their presence.
@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
8 Feb 08
Yeah, confronting the parent would have been a good idea. My mom never would have done that though, unfortunately! Unless the person was talking about ME or someone else in our family. My mom has never had a lot of vested interest in other people!
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
7 Feb 08
It is just pure ignorance, and its something that can be understood from children but not adults, you can teach a child not to make fun and explain things to them, but you cannot teach an adult and this is the lessons they then pass onto their children, that it is ok to make fun of those less fortunate. I would be disgusted if my child came home and told me that an adult had said those things.
@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
8 Feb 08
I agree that it is disgusting for an adult to act that way. It is sad that the lady passed that ignorance on to her own kids.
@niccyandpaul2015 (13)
• United States
7 Feb 08
This really makes me sad and angry at the same time. I have family with problems similar to this; Autism and Bipolar disorder. There is no reason in all of the world that people should say things like that about any child or adult with special needs. I think that I would have reacted quite differently to your situation regardless of my age. I would have stood up for the child, because it is not his fault that he is like that, he is just one that God picked out to make a difference in peoples lives. I definetly would have said something, regardless of the consequences. There were many times growing up when I defended my cousins and brother, because they were being made fun of. I would do it in any situation if it called for it. Children with Bipolar, Autism, Down Syndrome and other special cases; are indeed very special and should be treated with the utmost respect and care.
@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
8 Feb 08
I did try to stick up for the little boy, but I was a very shy kid and had been raised to NEVER correct an adult, so it was hard just to squeak out the little bit that I did!
@cajunmomma (624)
• United States
7 Feb 08
I personally think it is immature of that woman to act that way. Maybe she didn't understand why he acts like he does, but that is still no reason to call him a little moron. I don't think I would want my child around that woman as it would influence my child to also act like this. It would/could teach my child that it is okay to talk and make fun of someone who is different and/or has disabilities.
@acuityplague (763)
• United States
8 Feb 08
This is a sad story that unfortunately represents so many members of our scociety. I give you a million kudos for standing up in the face of an adult like you did as a child. Great job!
How would I react? Humm..
I think I would have called the mother in question and explained to her that I was trying to raise my children without any types of prejudice and ask that she not speak that way in front of my child in the future.
I really wish people like that didn't exist. *sigh*
@onesiobhan (1327)
• Canada
7 Feb 08
It's pretty sad that a grown woman doesn't know any better than to behave that way. Good for you for knowing better even at such a young age.
@kareng (55615)
• United States
8 Feb 08
I am glad that you had the courage and nerve to speak up and out about the situation. Your friend's mom needs a lesson in manners. I bet she would feel differently if she had a handicapped child herself.
I don't think you could have done anything about the situation. She is/was an adult and should have known better. It's sad that these things happen and you were the responsible person here and acted more adult about the matter than she did. I bet her husband was actually cheering you on. Sounds like he is married to a monster!
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
7 Feb 08
That is awful! I can not believe an adult, A MOTHER!!!! called him a moron! How awful! She is a terrible woman to have said something like that! You were right in telling her she was wrong!
If my niece came home and told me something like this I would be really mad! I would think that person was terrible! And if they were my friend, or I knew them personally at all, I would defeniatly tell them not to say crap like that in front of my nieces! And I would tell them that I thought they were really awful for saying something like that!
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
7 Feb 08
Theres nothing really to do. Some people just have such ignorance. They develop foot and mouth syndrome. When that say to much and just should have kept their mouth shut in the first place. I find it fine that the mother was asking questions about the little boy, it shows that she was concerned about her daughter around him. Which parents are like that with who ever there kid is around. But for her to call him names just because he was challenged is really sad. I would have just expressed to the little boy's parents that maybe they should watch who they let around their son. Because we are the blueprints of our parents. If these parents kept calling this little boy names than eventually the little girl would more than likely start calling him names as well.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
7 Feb 08
That has happened to me, my child coming home and telling me of such appalling behavior of a friend's parent(s). I just told my boys that there are some people who are willfully ignorant because it makes them feel better about themselves. That they should pity such people who need to put down others to make themselves look good. I also told them to be extra kind to the children of such parents, as they probably would need some memories of kind people in their lives.
@m3mema5 (90)
• United States
7 Feb 08
I would be very upset at the mother.Good friend of my moms or not.It was so very wrong for her to say something like that. For she showed she didnt have any compassion for a child who was different than hers. The next time I saw her I would a=of asked her how she could of been so rude about the child.It is not his fault that he was born with downs sysdrom.I wonder how she would of felt if someone made fun or a rude joke about her child if her child had a or was born with a hadicap.
The old saying goes what goes around comes around.
I myself have an 18 yr old boy that is MIMH with ADHD. He was diagnosed with being (Mildly Mentally Retarded)at the age of 4 1/2 yrs of age. and I get very upset when the word retarded is even mentioned in my home by other children and even adults.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
7 Feb 08
First of all I would pass on this information, this realization into my child that taking care of a special child is not at all easy, so what that mom is doing is more than what I am doing for my child. I would do my best to imbibe in him a sense of respect for such mothers and a feeling of friendship towards such children. But its truly amazing how such mothers care for such children. Just imagine what a brave woman she was to have allowed her son into a party like everyone else. She was risking a lot of jeers from a lot of ‘morons’ around her but she was confident of herself and how she wanted to treat her child. I remember seeing once the picture of a mom with a similar child. The child was like 15/16 but was attending a school and was in std XII/XIII (meant for 11/12 yr olds). Now the class-room was in the 3rd floor and this being India, there was no provision for lift. The mother physically carried her son to his classroom everyday just so he could attend his classes. Such commitments from such brave mothers.
