Why do men think that women are suppose to be there maids?

we have no maids. my wife being jobless do the cooking for us, preparing the clothes, cleaning the house, etc. at night as i arrive from work, after having dinner, i wash the plates, bathe the kids and others that need to be done while she takes a rest for working the whole day at home at the same time watching the kids. during weekends, while she's on the laundry, i cook, clean and watch the kids, clean the house, etc. how bout that? :-)

Ladies think about it, it's not society or all those things that where mentioned. The answer and the solution are very simple. The problem: Their MAMA's I have seen my mom cook for my brothers, my hubby'd mom even picks up his plate and use to clean after him. We mom's are the problem, we raised our little boys to be like that. Now my brother who is 34 years old doesn't want to move a finger, he rather starve then to cook. Solution: If we start raising our boys to help out in the house, do some cooking and teach them equality in the future women will not have this problem.

It's hard bringing up a wife!

Sadly, this is something that really has been ingrained in women for years. A lot of it goes back to the Bible (in my opinion). The bible speaks a lot about how women are superior to men and that women must serve men. Women have been working for men and doing all the household chores for many years. That and men think that women aren't good at anything other than raising babies, cooking and cleaning the house. The only way to really change this sort of behavior is to make sure our children don't grow up with the some misconceptions that previous generations have. They need to know that anyone, can do anything, and that women do not have a set place within the household, and that men do not either. It's all about how children are raised and what families believe, which just end up passing on bad ideals to children.

Well, even if you are a stay at home mother or wife, when the man comes home it then becomes both of your responsibilities. I know, in being a stay at home mother of three, that it is a full time job. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and stay at home mothers work just as hard as the working fathers. I'm not saying that the house shouldn't be straightened up before he gets home or that dinner shouldn't at least be started, but 30 minutes after he walks through the door then it's both people that are responsible for everything. I give my husband thirty minutes to wind down from the day before asking him to do anything. I know that he is out there working hard physically for us, but he also knows that emotionally, physically, and mentally it can be draining to stay at home all day every day. it's not always fun to be able to stay home. My husband used to be the opposite though before i had my surgery. I would do everything and he would just sit on the couch and watch tv or be on the computer or even go to bed at 6 in the evening, but when he finally had to take care of the house and the kids because of me having to have a hysterectomy he realized that it's not all fun and games and that it's a very hard job at times. He's overseas right now, so I'm doing everything by myself, but when he's home he helps out quite a bit even after coming home from work. I realized that by nagging him before and not accomplishing anything but anger, that if i just gave him 30 minutes to unwind before asking him to do something i was more than likely gonna get it done and anger wouldn't come up. thanks for posting and God bless

People can be lazy. Men or women. People. It seems to me that women have more of a nesting instinct and seem to "care" more about the cleanliness of a house. It bothers them more. Men don't care so much, their instincts do not seem to demand clean "nesting" behavior. Now, if you have an little bug in your brain that bothers you to clean stuff up, then this affects your motivation. If you don't have this little bug in your brain, then you are not motivated to clean. You seem to perceive this as laziness which is not exactly fair. Your motivations are different. In order for you to understand this, you'd have to spend your time cleaning up things that*don't* bother you because someone else asks you to. You'd have to be asked to clean more than your sensitivities. I think, everyone who self-motivates to clean, does so only in accordance with the irritation that mess produces for them. If a 'mess' doesn't bother you, I would wager that you don't clean it up. Now, your husband didn't design your brain circuits. He's not responsible for nature, evolution, or your particular sensitivities. He's just a man. He wasn't built with this clean it up impulse. And when you selected a mate, you didn't go out of your way to look specifically for someone who would keep things clean. You selected him according to other criteria. (Whatever those were.) Having a mate who keeps things clean wasn't at the top of your list. A husband who cleans because it bothers his wife is*not lazy* even if he doesn't clean as much as you would like. He is, actually, cleaning beyond his own internal "nesting" impulses for your sake. Cleaning to help satisfy someone else's cleaning instincts is decidedly not lazy. Only cleaning to your own cleaning instincts is merely pacifying your own irritation. You do what you need to not be irritated with the condition of your house, no more. From one point of view, the man is "doing more." Men are selected as mates typically for their earning potential. They should get up, go to work, work hard, come home, relax until tomorrow. Their greatest asset to the house is what they can provide financially. You expect them to provide financially. In society, generally, they are more able to provide financially (although there are certainly exceptions.) So, you seem to expect him to be both the man who earns money.. and the woman who cleans the house. Now, from your perspective, you have to get up and go to work, too. You work eight hours a day -- just like he does. You come home and you still feel like you have to clean the house. If he sits down, that irritates you. You don't want to clean the house. You would like some help. You witch at him to clean. This irritates him. He might clean. I might also resent being witched at when he's trying to relax from a hard day's work. What happens? Depending on your skill at bullying (witching is essentially bullying) you can get the husband to clean more. Having a more nagging personality or a sharper tongue can goat the husband into motion like a whip or a cattle prod. However, nothing is free. For every time you hit him with the witch-stick, you generate resentment in him towards you. Essentially, you must pay for this -- and the coin with which you pay is the peace and happiness of your house. Your husband will begin to associate his wife with annoyance. This will mean, when he wants to de-stress from work or his day, he will start to see a need to do this someplace removed from your presence. This might mean stopping at a bar on the way home or just retreating to the garage to work on his projects, car, woodworking, etc.. anything which brings him out of your presence so he can attain a quiet peace of mind. Peace of mind starts to require absence from you. Is this really what you want to inculcate in your husband?You think you have 2 full time jobs. So will the husband. Get up, go to work for the boss. Come home, go to work for the wife. You have 2 jobs, he has 2 jobs, but you have 1 boss. He has 2 bosses. He answers to his boss at work, and he answers to his wife's sharp tongue at home. This is emasculating. It weakens his self-esteem. With weakened self-esteem he is less likely to be assertive and ambitious at work. He starts to see himself as a cuckold husband. He earns less, you get less money. There is no free lunch. Everything is tied together. Nature provided you with a cleaning and nesting impulse. Nature didn't provide him with one. He should help you clean because he loves and respects you, but if you use nagging, criticism, or negative means to achieve this, you are just shooting yourself in the foot.

Sounds to me like you should ask for help. My husband is more than willing it help out around the house, all I have to do is ask for his help.

let them know who you are and want you want from life too,

if you think youve got it bad then thank your God your not married to a muslim man !

Not all men are like this for sure. I, for instance, always help my fiancee in doing the household chores when I have free time. Also, some men may be very busy at work and can't perform their functions at home well. Well, it would be better if you about this with your hubby seriously.

Well, I think it has been this way for ages for many reasons. First, the woman is the centre of attraction in a household and children naturally look up to her for everything. Secondly, I guess women have a lot of patience when it comes to taking care of kids and when it comes to doing the cooking I think the mother in her takes care of keeping her family healthy. Although her job is quite hectic, she can take it in her stride because of the motherly instinct. My husband loves to help clean up the house and take care of the kids, but I notice he is not very good at being patient when the kids go over the limit. He just tends to lose control very easily. Though I must admit that all men and all women are not the same. Some women prefer outside jobs rather than stay at home and take care of the kids. And there are others who are prepared to leave their high paid jobs just to stay with their children. As far as I see it, its the mother that takes the major role in disciplining the children. So, that's why it has been this way for ages.

Perhaps that is the way they were brought up by their moms, so they expect it to follow through with a partner. But that is the reason why many women in the UK are now choosing to stay single . Research has found that it is women's lives that change for the worst in a relationship, with a dramatically increased workload while men's actually improve. Suddenly she not only has to work, but she has to look after another individual as well and be their servant too. I don't mind NOT working and looking after my man totally and he can look after me, but I am not working AND looking after everything else as well. That is simply taking advantage when every relationship should be a partnership of equals SHARING the tasks and contributions together, not one person having to do everything in the household. There is nothing remotely romantic, nor is it an aphrodisiac, in one person always having to clean the loo (toilet)!

I hear you!Alot of men do think that women suppose to do all the domestic work in the house. My dad is one of them so is other males in my family. I'm also sick of seeing lazy men.

Hi Seancortneypixie, Wow! You sound pretty bitter about this. My wife feels that way sometimes as well. I can't speak for all men and I think that it is wrong to lump all men into one big category on this. We are all different jsut as all women are different. I think it is a matter of priorities. For example in our house. I come from a family that lingered at the dinner table a talked together. We left the dishes on the table and just sat and talked for 20 or 30 minutes before we got up from the table. My wife can't stand the dirty dishes left on the table and will immediately after the meal, get up and start cleaning. She spent a lot of evenings mad at me, lol. So we compromise, some nights I get up with her and clean up right away. Other nights she trys to relax and let things be for a while and talk. As far as the cooking, she is an awesome cook. Me? Not so much. But I am a much better house cleaner than her.

i think its due to the way the society is working since ages. they think that women are below men in everything. it is assumed that men are supposed to be dominating over women.it has made the society so.

Well i do agree with you, most men think about that. I guess it goes down to culture wherein women needs to stay at home to do chores and takes care of the children. Eventhough we are in this new world, women still have to live up to that kind of responsibilities. Which i think i not really fair. Women today aside from becoming independent are very flexible when it comes to work. We are now free to choose our career and men should be supportive enough to offer some help in the house.

It all goes back to the bible actually. Women were created to serve man. That's all. We are supposed to do whatever they say and do it without a word. It has been knocked into women since then that we are to serve them in any way possible. Not always literally though. And if it's not to the bible or some religious cause it's because of the social background of the area believing women are not equal to men and should do the things men think are degrading.

This complaint has been around for many years. Men do think the womens job is doing things in the house even if she has a full time job. I know some men that do not think this way but not a lot of them. My son is the one who stays at home with the kids. He just doesn't stay at home and do nothing either. He cleans the house, cooks and laundry and works on the things needing fixing in the house and also does maintance work on the two vehicles that they have. His wife goes out to work and he stays home and takes care of the three kids. It works for them and it is beautiful to see the way they are with each other. It is amazing to because if he had followed the footsteps of his Dad he would have done none of the things he does for his wife. He is a romantic person and does little things for her and takes in consideration her feelings. I take care of the house, the paying of the bills, keeping tabs on the checkbook and making sure it is balanced right. Cook all the meals and my husband believes that his day ends when he gets off of work. He doesn't even take out the trash. He refers to it as my job. I think to get the thinking turned around it would have to start when a boy is very young and showed that men and women should share the responsibility of the work in the house. I don't see that happening very soon. Some do have guys that help around the house but most guys don't.

My grandmother burned her bra so I didn't have to go through that. I am a very strong, outspoken woman. My husband knows if he tried to do something like that he'd end up with a boot in his butt.

Are you married? It will be your husband who is troubling you. Ask your husband to be realistic and help you household duties. Educated men don't need to ask for help. They do it without even being asked. I am employed. My wife is employed. Both of us together do the household chorus in the evenings. For those families, where only one member is employed, it is the duty of the unemployed member to do the household duties. Office job and industry job is tiresome. Do you know? Stop treating men like they are lazy. They have self respect too. Please.