For all of you who can't wait for your kids to grow up and leave. Check this out
By ctrymuziklvr
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
United States
March 14, 2008 9:52am CST
You know it's coming. But until the moment your children leave the house for good, it's hard to appreciate exactly how hard their absence will hit you.
After all, you've likely been going full tilt to get them ready for their next step in life, whether it's going off to college or just moving out on their own.
With the anxiety and excitement surrounding those preparation efforts, there often isn't much time to think about your own future feelings. The reality hits when parents drop their child off at the dorm and come home to a silent house.
It's then that parents might experience the symptoms of what's been dubbed Empty Nest Syndrome, which can manifest itself in feelings of fatigue, sadness, resentment and depression. After having devoted so much time and energy to raising their children, some women suddenly feel uncertain of what to do with their time and which direction their lives should take.
Imagine that for 18 years you've been devoted to parenting, and all of sudden this phase of life is over. The myth that's out there is that if you have a career, you won't go through grieving. But it doesn't matter if you had a career or not. When you come home to a silent house, you feel the loss.
Believe me I've been there with 3 kids growing up and going out on their own. I have to laugh when I hear mothers say they can't wait for the day their kids leave and are on their own. For me it was not a time of rejoicing.
Are you looking forward to the day your kids are out on their own? Do you think you will experience the Empty Nest Syndrome?http://www.revolutionhealth.com/healthy-living/relationships/friends-family/children/empty-nest
3 people like this
7 responses
@heart143 (1202)
• Philippines
14 Mar 08
No, I don't even want to think about it. My daughter just turned three years old last January. Too young for me to think that she will be leaving me. But believe it or not, I feel that time is really so fast. Not so long ago, she was just in my womb...but now, as I look at her, I can't help but think that soon she will leave me. Come next school year, her school life will begin. I feel both excited and sad thinking that my little girl is getting bigger and bigger. But no...I will set aside all my fears first. I will just enjoy and savor all the moments we will be having together and worry later...when the time comes.
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
15 Mar 08
You have the right idea...enjoy her as much as you can because the time goes by too fast!
1 person likes this
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
14 Mar 08
I believe all parents wish the best for their children and hope they can settle down fast and well. Same with my parents. However, secretly they wish that the kids will stay with them forever. I have this observation when my brother and sister got married and move away. My mother did not nag at me to settle down as she would previously when my siblings are still single.
2 people like this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
15 Mar 08
My parents were the same way when I moved out and lucky them my brother didn't leave until he was 27...lol...
1 person likes this
@mansha (6298)
• India
14 Mar 08
I know, I am one of those, waiting for my kids to grow up but I also dread that day when they will leave and I just hope they will have enough love in them to come back to me off and on. Already , my eight year old is asserting his independence, he does not like to go out shopping with but slips off to his friends place. He never stayed alone earlier but now he gets bored with our long market trips. Sometime you ant them to grow up then again you wish they were young enough to snuggle up to you just like before. Parenting is such a heart breaking and heart warming job.A total dilemma.I just remembered shakespear
"To be or not to be..is the question"
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
14 Mar 08
I think its quite hard for many mothers. In my case, I gained weight, as was making to much food and then trying to eat all of it. It was terrible knowing I gained a full size and it would be hard to take off the weight.
My house isn't silent, as I turn the television on during the day when I need sound. When the weather is rainy, then the television is on a lot. Its the reason during bad weather I can answer a lot of television posts.
I'm doing better and am sticking to the 5 to 6 meals a day with lots of fruit and vegetables. This was a change to how I eat, as I was one of the 3 big meals and very little healthy food. I'm amazed that my daughter is doing well on her weight loss plan, as I really showed her a bad example while she was growing up.
We regularly talk and compare notes to weight goals and what is working to get the weight off. I'm hoping we can both lose the dress size that each of us gained. Its sad to know we both had a hard time adjusting to our new lives.
@coffeebreak (17797)
• United States
15 Mar 08
I'm with you ctrymuziklvr! Mine have been "gone" one for nearly 10 years and the othe for 6 - they both sitll live in town and I babysit/daycare their kids whenever I can, but Empty Nest Syndrom is such a stupid thing to say. I love my kids, I loved being a mother, I was good at it and now neither want or need me any more. As it should be, i know, but letting go of literally my entire life, the only thing I have ever been excellent at doing, the only thing i ever wanted to do "growing up", the only thing I ever planned or hoped to do, enjoying every single second for the 18 years and suddenly, it is literally yanked out of my soul. Yeah, empty nest syndrom - what a joke!
I agree with you to... although I don't laugh at it, I cry inside when I hear parents say they can't wait till they leave or are looking forward to that time..all I think of them is...if you didn't want to give it your all, why'd you have kids in the first place!
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
15 Mar 08
I am one of those parents who has at times said those words that I cant wait for them to leave, only when I am extremely harrassed by 4 of them nipping at my ankles and each other all day long. But I do not really mean it and I never say it to them. I have just read your discussion and thinking of my house being empty after having 4 children in it makes me feel extremely sad. When they are little, it feels like it is going to be that way forever, that they are always going to be little and always going to be with you, but they are not, they are going to grow up and go their own ways and I know I will hate it. You think you have ages with them but the time goes so fast that before long I will be in the situation of having them leave home and I dread it, because what will I do then and who will I be. I have been mummy for so long, well since I was 18 I have been somebodys mum, I am 34 now and my children are 16,7,6 and 2, gosh its a sobering thought and not a very nice one.
1 person likes this
@lightningd (1039)
• United States
14 Mar 08
Honnestly, I may have joked that I couldn't wait for my kids to move out from time to time, but I really wasn't sure how I would handle it when the oldest moved out to go to college last fall. I actually did pretty well. He goes to colege about 4 1/2 hours away, but because he is an avid hunter, he came home nearly every weekend to hunt over the fall. Then he was home for 3 weeks for Christmas break. He's home again this week for spring break. We've got to set up new pens for horses coming in for training in May. That's what he's in college for, equine production. And he's going to be training horses here at the ranch this summer. So, well get some quality time together out buildig pens.
As for the youngest, it's hard telling what he's going to do when he graduates. He's going to an automotive technology camp this summer. Will be interesting to see how I handle it when they're both on their own.
I think it's a little different when they go to school, because they come home frequently. When they move into their own home and start their own lives, I imagine it will be a bigger adjustment.
