What does it mean if he dresses up to go to the bar.. without you?

@Courtom (287)
Canada
March 22, 2008 10:38pm CST
So I am 18, my BF 19. I am accepting the whole "bar" thing. No biggie. Tonight I was supposed to drop him off, so I was waiting for him to get ready. He put on new clothes, new hat, gelled his hair.. la de da de da. Now, my boyfriend never, NEVER gets dressed up, he only puts on the smell good for special occasions, so why tonight? He was going to hang out with a couple friends at the bar, and never gets dressed up like that. He usually just drinks in the back shop with his brothers and a ton of close friends, so why? Should I be a little worried? I made jokes to him.. about why he doesn't put on his cologne for my anymore, and now for the bar! Why he doesn't see the need to put on his new nice clothes for me, but for the bar, I told him I try hard all the time, to look nice, most girls do. What are your opinions
4 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
23 Mar 08
I would be asking questions, especially since this is out of the ordinary. If he dresse dup liek that all the time when you guys went out, I wouldn't give it a second thought. You may want to buddy up with one of his friends and find out if anything was going on.
1 person likes this
@Courtom (287)
• Canada
23 Mar 08
see, they are his older brothers friends, they are all very nice men. They all tell me to "ride out" the "bar" phase. They all tell me he is a great guy and would never do anything to harm me or the people around him. I am such a huge part in his life, his parents are like my second parents, his brother is like the older brother I never had, and we can hang out and have a good time. All his friends joke about how we are the next to marry! even though there are a couple of couples in the family... I can see that man, yet it is hiding and fighting with an immature boy it seems
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
23 Mar 08
From my experince, guys that go out with their friends to bars and get all dolled up are looking for attention. Personally, that rubs me the wrong way. If you are not going to get dressed up when we go out to bars, why do it with your buddies? If you two are so tight that odds are you are going ot get married, then that may be putting extra pressure on him to be something that he is not 100% ready for. If you think that is the case, please make time to communicate with him on that subject.
@Courtom (287)
• Canada
27 Mar 08
I certainly will, thank you for that. I have never brought up marriage, and I think he gets dressed up to look older, he looks very young. But i will try and bring it up in conversation one day
• United States
23 Mar 08
Personally, I'd be a tad worried. Especially if he's going without you and dressing up when he never seems to dress up otherwise. I'd wonder what he was up to. If you could find one of his friends that would be willing to give you honest answers or just confront him about it period, I'd see what his deal was.
1 person likes this
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
23 Mar 08
I might be wrong, but your boyfriend might be 2 timing you or planning on dumping you. I would be ready for it.
@Courtom (287)
• Canada
23 Mar 08
well, i dont have that gut feeling. He just spent the last to nights completely dedicated to me, which was a nice change, I had mentioned to him early in the week that I was feeling detached from him. And he tried really hard, he is 19, but people say he look 16 or seventeen, so I guess he might be doing it to appear older
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
25 Mar 08
Well to be honest... if he was just going to hang out with friends he would just take a shower and put on some jeans and a shirt, not to mention he's not inviting you to go along. I'd ruffle his feathers one night and do the same to him. Tell him it's a girls night out, and see what his reation will be. But I would have to really wonder what is going on with that .
@Courtom (287)
• Canada
27 Mar 08
wow, never thought of putting him in my shoes... I don't like to play games in relationships, but I certainly think if I get dolled up, more than usual... maybe he will feel the same way, and this topic will be brought up in conversation