Practicing What You Preach

@wolfie34 (26790)
United Kingdom
March 24, 2008 1:10pm CST
When you give out advice to others, do you follow that advice yourself? Or do you find it easier to give other people advice but not yourself? Do you find it easier to give advice out to others rather than accept advice from others? If someone comes to you are you full of good advice and find their problems simple and find it easy to say look you need to do this, or I suggest you do that But if you had the same problem yourself could you take your own advice you readily give others? I find myself suggesting things to others but I find it so damn difficult to do it myself. I feel like a hypocrite sometimes I mean how can I advise someone to be positive when I am NOT positive myself. Do you find yourself feeling like a hypocrite because you know damn well that advice you give you'd never be able to accept yourself or do yourself Advice it's always easier to give to others because you don't live their lives but when it comes to your own life why is it so hard to follow what you'd tell others?
5 people like this
20 responses
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Mar 08
Wolfie you are too hard on yourself. It is always harder to take our own advice. I don't know why, but it is, so don't stress so over it. I usually try to give people the benefit of my own experience, or the experiences of people close to me rather than give 'advice' per se. I always leave it up to them what they do with what I tell them. I can take advice too, and often do, but that's usually advice I get from other people as I value their experience. When it comes to taking my own advice - I'm not so easy to impress. lol I'm harder on my self than I am on others and that could be part of the reason why. I'm more self critical and so most of the advice I give myself, is to just lighten up and not sweat the small stuff so much.
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@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Mar 08
I am my own worst enemy always have been my friend, I am very critical about myself and extremely negative, I just wish I could practice what I preach and take the valuable advice that I dish out to others xx
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
25 Mar 08
I hear you wolfie. I used to be the same, but I found relief in humor. Some days though I really wonder...... You have good friends here. Are we not helping at all? That would be a sad thought.
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 08
You are doing a wonderful job, without you I'd be a hundred times worse off believe me! x
@MsTickle (25136)
• Australia
27 Mar 08
I usually ignore my advice to myself. In fact I ignore everything I tell myself so as to be in control. If I say "Don't overeat" I disobey. If I say anything along the lines of what I should be doing, I just don't. I get the chance to beat up on myself then for being bad or to lay big guilt trips on myself. I think it's easier when someone else makes the suggestion. I have no idea why, I'm writing this as it comes and it's sort of making sense. (I just woke up). When I was a kid, I was always told what to do, bossed around. I was never encouraged to think for myself or make my own decisions. You say you feel like a hypocrite when you give advice and don't take it...that's what I mean about beating up on yourself. Maybe somewhere along the line we have to give ourselves Permission to do things too so we don't feel so bad about our selves, our decisions and our life - a lot of the time. Does that make sense to you sweety?
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@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 08
As always sound advice coming from you my friend, thank you and yes it makes perfect sense as always x
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@MsTickle (25136)
• Australia
31 Mar 08
Getting this BR is like getting a hug from you. I sure need a few of those right now. Love ya mate,
@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
24 Mar 08
Yes I do most of the time Sweetie I will not give advice if I am not sure but I will advice in terms of how I would deal with it and that is how would deal with it if I was in that Position Hugs to you xxxx
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@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 08
I've always valued your advice my friend xxxx
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@gabs8513 (48708)
• United Kingdom
28 Mar 08
Thank you Sweetie I only think of you when I give it xxxxx
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
24 Mar 08
Well, I have been known to give advice to people but if I do. I always try to live up to it myself. If I cant I admit it. I say this is what I should be doing but right now I am not doing it myself.Like losing weight. I really want to lose, I need too but cant bring myself to give up my favorite snacks lol But if someone wanted advise on losing I could tell them how and what I've read about doing so.
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@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Mar 08
I have don't have that problem fortunately, because I am very very critical about my weight and I am usually good at both giving and receiving advice about weight loss. Other things I am not good at like being positive about image etc... xxx
@pumpkinjam (7522)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 08
I am very much like you in this respect. If someone asks for advice, I can happily give it but, for example, if someone asks me about relationship advice, I'll give it and then find myself thinking I should take it but can't or won't. I don't know why it's so hard to take our own advice sometimes. I know I don't take other peoples advice because everyone else is always wrong! Well, I get unwanted advice from certain people who often don't actually know what they are talking about or don't understand certain things, etc. I try not to advise unless I am asked but then I am usually very good at giving advice. I do often wish I could listen to myself but I think there must be some sort of "no return" mechanism in us which prevents us from doing what we know we should.
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@rpegan (596)
• United States
24 Mar 08
Sometimes it's easier to give advice as an outside observer. You can see the issue from all viewpoints and make an informed decision about what needs to be done. However, in personal issues, you're likely to be highly biased. I'm like that sometimes. I can give marvelous advice, but I don't always follow it. I know how you feel when you say you feel like a bit of a hypocrite, but I won't let that stop me. I still feel good knowing that I can help my friends even when I can't always help myself.
@wolfie34 (26790)
• United Kingdom
24 Mar 08
I know I sometimes hear myself giving sound advice to others and I am quite articulate and I come over positive when I help them but I just can't be positive towards myself! Welcome to Mylot
@chiyosan (30217)
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
I always do try my best to practice what i preach. this is most true when it comes to faith and trust in God. I have a friend who is losing her hope and have questioned God too many times. I stay with her and is always reminding her that Godhasnot forgotten her, that she just needs to be patient. I have had my times of troubles too and i have proven that too many times... God is always on time. When it comes to some other things besides my faith, well i can say about 90% of what i say, i do.
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
This is a good discussion wolfie. Damn right, its easier to advice someone than to apply it in one's own life. Before, I used to suggest or make advice to a friend who's in trouble or experiencing life's difficulty so easily. I even got upset or became so persistent to let her follow this and do that thing. One time I was in the same situation, and helluva did the wrong decison yet I knew what's the best thing to do. I find so hard to apply life's principle that I used to preach to people. After that incident before I make some advice, I analyze first the situation and imagine myself being in her shoes. I dont find it hypocrite wolfie. For me, its helping one person to make a good and not so bias decision over some matters. When you're in deep trouble you tend to be so irrational and emotional that everything becomes so blurry. You need your friend's or loveone's to clear out your head and let you see the other side of the coin. I know there are some advices I preach that I might find difficult to follow yet I always welcome possibilities that I will also do the same thing given the same situation. Or maybe I just cant stop myself not to help my loveone's see the other side of the problem.
@winterose (39895)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
as a counsellor I do give advice and can do that quite well, it is second nature for me, I make it a motto not to tell people anything they are not ready to hear, or anything that I would not do myself given their situation, I do not accept advice easily because people give advice unsolicited they do not seem to understand that advice is best accepted when asked for and even then if it is only advice, people can choose to accept it or not. I have written some articles about this very issue.
@howard96h (11642)
• New York, New York
25 Mar 08
Hi wolfie, I will only give advice when asked. Too many people get offended when you give advice so I keep my comments to myself until they want my opinion and ask for my advice. My sister is like that, she will ask for advice then if it's not wants she wants to hear it winds up into an argument so with her I would rather not even give any advice or my opinion. For myself I follow my own advice because this is what I would decide to do for myself. If I am not sure I would say sorry I can't give you any advice because I don't know how I would even handle that situation.
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
hi wolfie! that is so true-its hard to practice what you preach. I think giving advice to others is such a wonderful opportunity to be positive. I like accepting advice from others because it often opens my eyes to who I am.. but when I give out advice and I can't seem to follow or take my own advice, I will also quickly open up to that person and tell him or her that this is how I feel. That's the only way I can do to help myself- to not feel like a hypocrite at the end of the day after being so articulate. When we hear ourselves preaching or lecturing, our ear remembers.. its frustrating that often its difficult to practice our own advice.. but because our own ears could hear our words when we counsel other people..the instructions we give, the encouragement we extend, the words of wisdom we share.. lingers and echoes in our own minds. And soon leaves a lesson and challenge us to be a doer of what we preach.^_^
@mummymo (23707)
25 Mar 08
Wolfie my Darling I do understand the condition you suffer - I am also afflicted! it is called being human. I guess we all (or at least the majority of us) have the same problem, it is so much easier to see things clearly when we are not too close to it but when we are in the midst of things our judgement gets kind of fogged up! xxxx
@wickedangel (1636)
• Dominican Republic
25 Mar 08
Oh yes, it is so easy to give advice but it isn't necessarily as easy to accept it. And then when you have given the same advice to someone else and they give it back to you (as this is how they see your situation) - it is so likely that you won't take it. It is hard to do it yourself, I don't think you are a hypocrite (if you are then we all are!) it is just that is human nature. Remember, each of us has our own experiences throughout our lives and that makes us who we are today. Our lives are unique but some of our experiences are common to others, that's why we try to give advice. But follow it... nah, not really but if you do follow it and it goes wrong ... ouch!
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I am the same. It is so much easier to give advice than to follow it. In my heart, I always do know what to do and that is the advice that I give to others and myself as well. I try to practice what I preach but it is not always easy and sometimes i fail miserably.
@williamjisir (22885)
• China
25 Mar 08
Hello dear wolfie. You are a great thinker. I think that it fits me sometimes, though not always. It is an interesting discussion to me. Yeah, we could give people our advice, but it does not mean that we would always do accordingly when we face the same situation. It is easier to offer advice, but difficult for us to carry it out once we meet it. lol
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
I am a hypocrite because I talk about good thinngs a lot, my friends even tell that when things are hard on them, they would always help for my self but unfortunately, its very hard on my pard to practice what I say. I don't know why I find it really hard to do thing I know are the right things to be done.
@sid556 (30987)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I believe in the advice I give to my friends and I try hard t o follow it myself....I don't always succeed which makes me empathetic to when they don't.
• United States
25 Mar 08
To me, I like to give out advice to friends. And most of the time i practice what i preach, but on occasion i will hand out tips that i really cant say i do in my life. So i guess if it will help out another in need it will be ok in the end.
@kbourgerie (8780)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I'd like to say that I don't do what you have described, but I think it is something we are all guilty of doing at one time or another. You gave a real good example of telling someone else to be positive and then not doing the same ourselves. Sometimes we also tend to think things work well for others, but not us, so we are apt to give advice and then think it doesn't apply to me.
@mbs730 (2151)
• Canada
25 Mar 08
Yes I am guilty of it and feel like a total hypocrite as well after giving someone a lecture BUT I also add in there that I should be giving myself the same advice too. And its true. I am not a positive person by nature and who am I to tell someone to lighten up? Its easy to give advice, advice that you should be following that is. You are not alone in this, believe me.