He is never Interested in books. How can i force my nephew to study?

@deepti15 (1190)
India
March 25, 2008 7:43am CST
My nephew is in high school, but I don't know what has happened to him - he just can't study anymore! When ever he try to do work he always get distracted and it just bores him sooo much! he is going on holiday in under 2 weeks, and he has loads of work to be completed before then, but he is just not doing any of it!!! Is there any way i can force him to do work? Please help me!....Crisis!!!
3 people like this
16 responses
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
26 Mar 08
My brother use to be like that he never liked any of his books and he is always throwing out of the window whenever he is pissed off. What my mum usually do she always makes an example what he is going to be like and that way it scared the crap out of him as he dont want his life to end the same so he is forced to study and not knowing he graduated with a highest goal among his mates.
1 person likes this
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
yeah but the thing is he is not ready to listen even. We have tried everything possible. Now thinking of sending him to some boarding or so. I'm against it but his parents want him learn a lesson.
@sanzi1201 (644)
• China
26 Mar 08
I'm very sorry to hear that.I have the same difficulty with you.It's a serious question.Every day,I'll spend at least 2hs to teach him.Sometimes,he like to study,but most of the time he does homework very slowly. Fortunately.he is 10 years old,so we could channel him more easily than your nephew. YOu should have a talk with him,help him/ But ,I have no detail plan for you .I'm sorry!
1 person likes this
@deepti15 (1190)
• India
26 Mar 08
I admire that you also can understand what we are going through. Thank you for responding.
@youless (99516)
• Guangzhou, China
26 Mar 08
I think he needs a good example. That means to say his parents shall spend more time reading than watching TV etc. They don't have to force him to read. As long as they already do a good job in this aspect. It will have a good effect on children.
1 person likes this
@danzer (2731)
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
Maybe he has a high ambition but knows that his schooling doesn't have anything to do to achieve his dreams. It might be helpful to know his reasons. To motivate him, offer him some rewards if he can finish his school work! It's just one option, you can have other better ones you think of. Good day!
@xialinye (1403)
• China
25 Mar 08
i agree with you,danzer. maybe he has a high ambition but you don't know or maybe he doesn't set up a goal or dream.so how old is he?
• United States
1 Apr 08
I am not a mother. And my mom was old school. She would have told your nephew that he couldn't go on holiday Until he finished his work. Does he have a favorite subject? Or is all of his classes are boring to him?When I was in school I liked math but not science. So doing my math homework was fun but science was a chore.So I would do my math first and then my science. But since he isn't studying at all , maybe he should do his least favorite subject first and leave his favorite subject for last. Good Luck.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
26 Mar 08
I think the best thing to do is first find out why he is bored...maybe he has other things he would rather do or it could be he doesn't understand it. You can't really force him, but you could try tricking him. You could take away whatever he likes - video games, computer time, tv, phone, etc. and make him sit down at least 1 hour each day to work on it and not until he is done will you let him have it. You might want to sit there with him while he does his homework, maybe he is lonely...tell him you'd rather do something else too, but this is important and sometimes you get stuck doing stuff you don't wnat to do. You would also be able to tell if he needs help with a particular subject. Some people naturally don't need to "study" per se, I'm one of them. I have only studied a few times for tests because i might have missed too much class or didn't pay attention in class or the teacher was insane and expected us to memorize an impossible amount of info. But if I paid attention in class and took notes I didn't need to study at all. I used this to my advantage in college and saved thousands of dollars by not buying any textbooks! I had a 4.0 when I did it that way. Good luck to your nephew - hope you figure something out!
26 Mar 08
The problem is, you can't force him..That will just make him dig his heels in more.. Has his parents talked to him to find out if there is something else that's bugging or worrying him,is the work just to easy...or maybe to hard..or maybe he's just being a typical teenager, who has decided it's cool to stress out his family and auntie by not doing any study and he knows that he will get it done in time.
@popocan (222)
• Hong Kong
26 Mar 08
Tell him that if he doesn't complete his work, the holiday'll be cancelled and explain to him the importance of studying (gives him some good examples). If he still acts his own way, I think one direct solution is to stop talking to him, not only you but the whole family. I did it to my brother and it worked!! Sometimes, you gotta be strict with kids, trust me :)
@arjun999 (1004)
• India
26 Mar 08
I think he is confused and he lacks motivation. You should tell his parents to talk to him or you yourself should. Ask him why he is not doing his work. Tell him about the consequenses of not completing his work. Remind him of his ambition if he has any. Try to find out if he has any distractions without him knowing it. I dont think you can force him. I have seen a lot of stubborn children. You can try to reason with him. Best of luck with that. Have a nice day.
@s2a2n2 (1732)
• India
26 Mar 08
just say as friendly as possible... try to know what inetrests him most and make him read those and say some infornmation to you pretending you are busy to read and know...basically ask him to help you... he will surely read and tell you... it will be gradual change but would be permanant
@subha12 (18452)
• India
26 Mar 08
it is the problem with most of the children. Now they are all interested about gadgets and all. try to read books to him. may be he gathers interest from it.
@filmbuff (2909)
• United States
26 Mar 08
I think one of the keys is not to force him, but to make it fun so he wants to study and wants to read. That in and of itself can make a huge difference. It's possible that the work is either too hard or too easy for him. Both issues can be solved with either tutoring, or taking more difficult classes. You said he is distracted, what is distracting him? I would also suggest asking why he is isn't getting the work done, what is holding him back, or why he doesn't want to do it. It very well may not be a scholastic issue, but rather a personal one. Best of luck to you.
• United States
25 Mar 08
It could be that he suffers from attention deficit or dyslexia. There is no way to force him to do the work and reading. However, a visit to the doctor could determine if he has either attention deficit or dyslexia. Let us know how it works out. Have a great day!
@goergineo (1498)
• Jordan
25 Mar 08
The best solution is "punishment and reward". you have to make him know that failure has consequences and success has sequences and bring that into action.
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
25 Mar 08
I agree that reward system is a good motivation but don't let him abuse it. Let him play for a while and then tell him to devote some time for his assignments to avoid cramming when vacation is over.
@daeckardt (6244)
• United States
25 Mar 08
I wish I could help. I think if you try to force the issue, he will resent it and will resist even harder. I wish there were a way the school could make the information more interesting or let him do some alternative assignment that might be more interesting. My nephew has learned most of what he knows by doing things and going places rather than by reading books. Although he is only 16 and has not finished high school, he has traveled all over southeast Asia (mostly on his own) and has learned several languages in the process. He has been to Angkor Wat in Cambodia as well as the Killing Fields which are things that I had never heard of before traveling there myself. Good luck with this.