Can you be with someone like this?
By hallmarkjl
@hallmarkjl (500)
United States
March 25, 2008 9:41am CST
Can you stay in a relationship where the one you are with lied to your face MANY times and you knew it, but didnt have proof? I know a lot of people say you can not accuse someone of something unless you have proof, and I dont. But my husband and I have been fighting a lot for the past few months and lately its been even worse. I dont trust him very much b/c he has lied to me in the past about certain things. The only reason I found out the truth was b/c my brother and sister in law told me.
Just the other day his aunt was talking to him about things and she said something. Not know that I didnt know the truth about it. Right after I got done talking to her I went to my husband. I did not say anything at first, but it was really eating me up on the inside so finally I asked him if he had done what she said *but did not tell him she told me about it*. He denied it fully and made me fell like crap for even asking.
He would give me the lecture of how I dont trust him and I need to and all of that. I let him give his little lecture to me. After he finished I looked him straight in the eyes and said "you are lying to me." He just looked at me with a funny face, like didnt I just give you a lecture about this. I then told him that his aunt had told me what happened and that she did not know that I didnt know the truth. I did not want him mad at her for saying something to me.
I then asked him if it was true because his aunt had no reason to lie to me. He sat there for a moment and said yes. That it was true, and he was sorry. Need I remind you that this is not the first time hes lied to my face and made me feel like crap for it.
What exectly would you do, and would you be with someone like this? I really do love him, but I'm really tired of getting my heartbroken by him.
4 responses
@junior0703 (9)
• Singapore
26 Mar 08
hey there. Well.. i've experienced this situation before.. Basically alot of times.. By the same guy.. We were very loving towards each other. But sometimes there are things you can't prevent, like him lying to you.
Yes i know it hurts damn bad. It kills inside. It makes you wanna just sit down and cry your heart out. Let me tell you my story.
Our relationship are fine. There are quite a number of times i caught him having an affair with alot of other girls. Be it his girls from his workplace or girls his friends intro or imagine this, passerbys. Yes its ridiculous. Whenever i caught him red-handed, i would go straight up to him and confront him. In a nice way. But he would deny. Sometimes, i would say i believe him, but the very next day, he would came home with a rose in his hands saying sorry for what he did. He would feel guilty and then told the girl he would wanna end the relationship. Sometimes i myself would confront the girls.
But still, we love each other so much. i know and understand he has his reasons of to why he did that stupid mistakes. Call me a blind girl in love. But only if you're in true love, you would know that people make mistakes. And behind every mistakes done, there are reasons of to why it happened.
So, talk things out with him. Yes, he would deny. But one day, guilt will eat him up inside and he won't be able to take it anymore but to tell you the truth. Don't argue. But talk to him nicely. If he lash back at you angrily, soothe him down. He'll see that you really care. Take care..
@hallmarkjl (500)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Thank you very much. I'm sorry to hear that he cheated on you. I am thankful that he has not done that to me. You are a very strong person for not leaving him after what he did to you.
@hallmarkjl (500)
• United States
26 Mar 08
I never said he cheated. He just lied to me about stuff that I'd rather not discuss.
@drscricket (11)
• India
25 Mar 08
I dunno dear what should I say cause I'm too having similar problems with my b.f .I'm in a dilemma.I'm here looking for those who have got problems similar to mine and just trying to share my opinion.I know how painful it is when your loved ones lie to you.May it be a silly reason or something serious but it really hurts a lot.I feel you've lot of patience to bear this.Don't worry dear you can always try to change him when hes with you.So don't get mess of with things and make it still more worse. You might have tried to confront him but nothing might have worked.
From last month I faced so many problems and was totally heartbroken and tried killing myself , but nothing doing.I was so depressed ,had no other way than to convince myself.But then ,few days back i came across a website called lovereturned.com created by Amanda Ripon.This woman was named "miracle woman" for solving problems related to relationship.The main reason behind her success is her own bitter experience.She ,too was heart broken once,but luckily she got back her love.She has described her story in this website and moreover she wishes to solve others problem through her seven step formula.But you need to download it.Most of them who have subscribed "Lovereturned:A practical guide to fix broken relations" have appreciated it.Try to visit this website it might help you.....goodluck
@hallmarkjl (500)
• United States
26 Mar 08
Well I'm sorry things are like this for you as well. At least I know I am not the only one out there who has problems like this though. Thank you a lot for that website though. I will look at it.
@hallmarkjl (500)
• United States
25 Mar 08
Hell right now seems to sound like a pretty good place right about now. Hurting on the inside all the time and never knowing if I can trust anything he says anymore.
