Do you allow your teenager daugther alone in her bedroom with a boy?

@winterose (39897)
Canada
March 28, 2008 3:46pm CST
do you allow your teenager daughter alone in the bedroom with her boyfriend with the door closed? if so why, or under what conditions, if not why not
11 people like this
25 responses
• United States
28 Mar 08
I do not hve teenaged girls yet, but I do have 3 young daughters and my husband and I have already set rules in place regarding dating and what will be allowed in our home. Our girls know that they will not be allowed to date until they are 16 years old and that boys are not allowed in their bedrooms, regardless of the door being open or closed. We plan to have a place where they will be able to entertain their friends, in groups, with some level of privacy (no 1-on-1 opportunities though), but their bedrooms are not the place. We have already started enforcing this rule by not allowing their cousins (who are all males) to share a room with them during sleepovers, in the hope that the rule will be pretty well ingrained by the time the subject becomes an issue.
2 people like this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
28 Mar 08
very good plan for your daughters set the rules when they are young it is easier to enforce then,
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Mar 08
My daughter and her friend both said no. The boy might try something so it's not good. I let my daughters friend go in her room with the door open. Why because my daughter door and my door are neighbors. My apt is so small that they could not do anything if they tried. I am so glad I saw this this while they were here.
2 people like this
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
15 Jun 08
Never, ever with the door closed. I do allow boys in her room but door stays wide open. My mom would never even allow that for me. The reason is that they watch movies and listen to music and don't want mom hanging about. I understand all that. I have to pass her room to get to the bathroom and while they have some privacy, they also know that I could walk by at any given moment and that door had just better be open.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
15 Jun 08
Like I said.....NEVER EVER.
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
15 Jun 08
actually...am I misunderstanding you? I don't really get your response to my response. I stated that the door had to be wide open. Im so confused.
@golfproo (1841)
• Canada
14 Jun 08
Hi There, Absolutely not! I would never let this happen. I may turst my daughter, but this is way too much of a temptation and is almost like a setup. Hormones are raging at this age and who knows what will happen. I would not even let them in the room together if the door was open! cheers,
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
good for you, I don't think it is the place for kids to me alone in the bedroom like that, out in the open with the rest of the family is where they should be.
15 Jun 08
"out in the open is where they should be" ...you said this! can i ask WHY is it where they SHOULD be! Does it really matter what age they do anything together? you will say i am just biased because i am young too! but i am not, i just dont see what the problem is, it also makes it more challanging if you dont let them in your house! Can i also ask, why you wouldnt let them? is there a reason? or are you just worried she might get pregnant? I dont mean to come across like i did, but i just dont see the problem. Chris
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
29 Mar 08
Yes and no. If I am at home and I am sitting right here where I can see them both, then yes. They are not allowed to close the door or be out of my site though. If I am not at home or if I do not know the boy very well, then no. My daughter tried this recently and it does not look good for them to be in the bedroom with the door closed whether they are doing anything or not. I know they sneak a kiss here and there but that is okay as long as that is all they do. It makes me very nervous when they are out of my site. I know how teenage boys are and girls are no different these days, it seems.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
29 Mar 08
yes you are so right, we were once teenagers too, we know all the tricks.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
29 Mar 08
Yes. We sure were and we tried to pull little things behind our praents backs sometimes but I cannot stand the sneaking in my home. I could see it if I never gave her the opportunity to be out of my site, but they sure not going to do a thing in my home for sure. I hate the thought of it even though she is too young anyway.
@kishusia (1069)
• India
20 Jun 08
I can't even think of such a situation. Our culture and religious values do not allow even having a boyfriend. Of course these days some girls talk of having BF, but it is not seen as a part of good behaviour.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
20 Jun 08
Yes I certainly can understand then, why it would be so inconceivable for you to even think of having a boy in your room alone.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
19 Jun 08
If i had a teen daughter she would not under no circumstances be allowed to have a boy in her room with or without the door closed! Not saying I wouldn't trust her or him, but it takes away the temptation to do something wrong.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
I absolutely agree!
• Alexandria, Virginia
19 Jun 08
No who wants a pregant daughter
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@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
yep no body wants a pregnant teenager, but it happens all the time though.
@salonga (27830)
• Philippines
19 Jun 08
I do not have a daughter but should I have one, I will never, never, never allow her to let her boyfriend get in her bedroom even if the door is open and how much more closed. Both of them will be punished to the hilt should they try to do that. If they will say they are not doing any thing wrong then what's the point of staying in the bedroom when there is a very big living room where they could stay and talk. I am very strict when it comes to women's purity and fornication will not be allowed right in my very home.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
yes that is absolutely right!
@subha12 (18452)
• India
17 Jun 08
i am not married. also i have no children. but in that case, i think No. there should be some limit to everything. in our case it is not allowed at all.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
exactly there should be limits.
• United States
17 Jun 08
No, I wouldn't trust a teen boy in my daughter's room assuming she was a teen. I'm not looking forward to those years. We have a while to go, yet. So there is time to prepare. Can a mom ever be too prepared? LOL!
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
and with some mothers, there is a fine line between trust and common sense, I know her a lady who trusted her daughter so much that her boyfriend stayed over night in her bedroom, and guess what she is 17 with a baby now.
@Hatley (164220)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jun 08
human nature being what itis if i had a teenaged daughter she would not be allowed alone in her bedroom with a boy. There are just too many temptations presented with that. they can be in the living room or a family room but no not in her bedroom. I may trust my daughter but I do not trust the boy. okay?
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
guess should act like guess and be with the rest of the family anyway,
@newtondak (3949)
• United States
16 Jun 08
Absolutely not - the bedroom is off limits. Anything that falls into the category of things a teen couple should be doing can be done in the kitchen or living area (not saying that they won't do things they shouldn't in those areas). Allowing them to be alone in a bedroom setting in my opinion is just asking for something to happen.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
19 Jun 08
I totally agree with you.
• United States
14 Jun 08
I don't have any children, but I'm going to give my point of view of being a teenager. I'm now 22 so I'm out of the rebelious stage. My parents really didn't mind me being alone with a boy in my room. They knew we couldn't do much being as my room was right next to the living room with paper thin walls. Also, my mom would always come on to chat with us haha. However, my first boyfriend's mom was veeeery strict about us being alone together. I would have never thought to go anywhere with him because I was too young and smart enough to know consequences of any actions. But I think knowing she didn't want us together made me want to "sneak" even more. I don't know how I'll end up raising my children. I don't want to be a hypocrite and tell them they can't be alone, but I also don't want to be so lenient that they get into trouble. It's scary to think that children are doing certain things at such a young age. I was that young just a few years ago and still can't believe girls are getting pregnant so early on in life.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
it is hard to know what you will do in the future because times change, even little things like curfews change with society
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
11 Jun 08
I will absolutely not allow that to happen..I will be ok for my daughter to accept visitors but I will be like my dad and mom , they are only up to the living room. I know some parents are liberated and that will be fine but not for me. I have to set rules and limitations but of course I have to explain to my kids the purpose and advantages.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
11 Jun 08
exactly that is the best way to be.
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
11 Jun 08
Uh, no.. Furthermore, I don't let my gay son alone with a closed door with one of his male friends. It's a matter of temptation, not morality. They are not in control of thier hormones.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
11 Jun 08
me other my son never had the door closed either.
• United States
28 Mar 08
no
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@winterose (39897)
• Canada
28 Mar 08
hon to get your star up you need to make a longer answer, mylot bylaws say you cannot make only a yes no answer, it has to be something big enough to contribute to the discussion
1 person likes this
@arjun999 (1004)
• India
1 Apr 08
No i wouldnt dream of doing that. Dont know what they are up to nowadays. It is not wise to do so. If we allow them that much freedom they will easily get spoiled.
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Mar 08
I think the most interesting part of this topic is the fact that, for the most part, you'll notice that parents of a male child allow the kid to have girls in their rooms with the door shut. If it's a female, then most parents won't let that child have any males in their room with the door shut. I've seen that proven true on many an example of people I've talked to. I suppose it's just one of those things where people *Expect* guys to pull stuff, so it's perfectly okay, but girls have to be the angels. It's just a double standard that becomes quite annoying, honestly. I mean, if you know the kid's going to do something at some point, where's the problem in letting them do it? By not letting them do it, you're almost sending the message that doing stuff like that isn't natural, and that it's wrong, which could, actually, give the child quite messed up views on the entire ordeal and cause you to loose quite a bit of trust because they'll just go around your back to do it.
1 person likes this
@queenofarms (1665)
• United States
31 Mar 08
I didn't allow my daughters in their bedroom alone with a boy. Its not appropriate.
1 person likes this