Do you post a discussion and then the first answer you get
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40193)
Canada
March 31, 2008 10:43am CST
makes you wish you never made it? I posted a discussion about retirees and how that the man often is in the way when I want to vacuum the house and I get a reply from a man who feels it is all right for him to sit and watch Tv, and I can do the vacuuming another time, not in the morning which is the best time and I am interfering with his leisure time. It is just that I have so little time to do my housework, and I feel uncomfortable about him sitting there, because I used to get criticized a lot.
Now it could be any discussion, but do you find that whatever you posted, the first one answering makes you wish you had never posted it?
15 people like this
31 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
31 Mar 08
You don't want to know the first thought that came to my mind, it definitely wasn't Christ-like..How dare he say that, he can take his leisure time and put it somewhere where no one goes..
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
1 Apr 08
My husband does not mind when I vacuum. He just moves his feet and then puts them down when I am finished. But I am sure glad I am not married to that other guy the one who responded to my post first. I hate to think of what his wife goes through.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Well I hope that I do not make you regret opening this discussion (that is if I am indeed the first one to respond).
I am new to this community but I have not experienced a response that I have felt to be less then satisfactory for myself. If I ever do, I assume that I will ignore it and go on with the other answers.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
1 Apr 08
Your answer is all right. It is just that well this was a man and men do not understand that women do not want to disturb their television viewing. He was just interested in his right to lay on the couch and that of other men.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Yes, well men do have that right, but they also have the right to do the cleaning that needs to be done, later since they won't let us do it then... okay, I am not meaning to rant. Have a Great day.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
My husband cannot do much because he lost his strength in his left hand and arm. I do think that that man who got angry because I suggested that the men do move their feet or help, probably complains because his wife does not keep a clean house and yet when she tries, does not let her.
@lucy02 (5016)
• United States
31 Mar 08
Oh I can totally agree with you on that subject. My hubby isn't retired but my mom lives with us and between him and her being in the living room I just can't clean. I just can't seem to do any housework until they all go to bed. Sometimes its too late when I get them all to bed to bother.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
1 Apr 08
I do find it frustrating and when he is working in the basement, well sometimes he has to turn off the power and soon we will be rewiring. I better keep on typing here while I still can.
@mummymo (23706)
•
1 Apr 08
LOL I know what you mean exactly , been there, done that invented the t-shirt! lol I did see that discussion and had thought about responding but as my other half is still at work and has to do most of the housework as I am unable to I didn't! I did wonder why you didn't just give him the vacuum and tell him to get on with it though! lol xxx
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
He very conveniently did move his feet when I brought in the vacuum cleaner, but I did think what if he did not. I mean,if he is watching Harry Potter or a whole hockey game and there are crumbs on the floor, and then there is my favorite show afterwards. It does become a problem.
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
10 Apr 08
If I were that mans wife, I'd be moving out so he could do it all himself! Hah! Bet that'd make him get off his bum and clean up!
Men and women do think really differently and unfortunately, the men are still kept in the dark ages when it comes to the domestic side of things. Come on guys! Catch up, do the dishes once in a while, learn how to use the washing machine or hang the wet washing up! It's not rocket science! lol.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
That man does not understand women. We cannot just wait until he finishes watching the sports channel or whatever. And I am sure not going to do it when my favorite show is on. So he has to either move his feet, or start saving for another Tv so he can watch the sports somewhere else. (My husband is a curling and hockey fan.)
2 people like this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
1 Apr 08
Oh dear trust you to get a male chauvanist as your first response, I'm sure the other responses were more understanding of the situation. I personally haven't experienced this with any of my discussions but I expect one day I will but I don't think it will make me wish I had never posted as the response just gives a different perspective of the situation. I am quite rebellious by nature so I would vacuum delibrately when I knew they wanted to watch something and say if they don't like me to clean they should try doing it themselves eh! Ellie :D
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
The others were more understanding, even the ones by the other guys. I mean they understood that the part in front of the sofa needed vacuuming because they probably ate potato chips, tacos, and the cookies their wives made them while watching Tv, and they did not like getting their socks or bare feet dirty from all the crumbs. But this other first responder did not care .
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
31 Mar 08
Absolutely my friend, that happened today would you believe! I posted a discussion about a young mum with her little kiddies going into a shop and wasting money on scratchcards, the first response I got was to tell me NOT to be so judgemental, and they were absolutely RIGHT! another said I wasn't thinking when I started the discussion up and they were right too! I just wanted to delete it but off course that's not possible. Oh well live and learn!
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
28 May 08
Well I was upset about the guy telling me to let my husband sleep and that is his right. Well we do have a bedroom and he can sleep on that. Besides he needs the exercise and there was another response to a post about my favorite Science Fiction show Battlestar Galactica and he was making fun of me and was I upset. I really got angry. I mean there were only two people who answered and one did not put in a separate response.
You know I do not like vacuuming that much so if I get in the mood to vacuum I do not let anything stop me in case I change my mind.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Apr 08
yes I do get that but I but I just hope that the next person goes off in a different direction, to each his own, the men have to stick up for themselves cause nobody else will lol.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
first of all I was making a joke,
and second of all it really doesn't matter what I think , it is your house and you do what you want,
nobody is going to tell me how to run my house,
you know what I mean.
It doesn't matter what people think you run your house as you see fit.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I hope you do not agree that I should have waited until he decided to go someplace else and let me vacuum then, usually when my favorite show was on or when he decided to go someplace and I wanted to go along as well.
I had to vacuum then. There were crumbs on the floor.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
31 Mar 08
There is nothing wrong with your discussion.
You can always get funny responds from other people.
HUGS
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
27 May 08
I was thinking that there are some people who go to the posts and think "say lets look for something that we do not agree with and be the first ones tho answer. Then we can get all of our followers to reply as well!" (at this they stand up before the computer and cross their mice with their keyboards, ala the psychopaths on Cobra) I often wondered that. It seems too much of a coincidence.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
5 Apr 08
I did not catch that discussion and sorry you got such a bad reply right off...I feel like you do..My husband is not working either..He sits all dsy long in one spot and watches Tv..It does get annoying ..Most women that i have talked to that has a husband at home get resl upset just having their husbands under foot all day....
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I was brought up that that man is the boss, and it is hard to tell the boss of the house to please move their feet. Also you get the idea that they will find something to pick fault at you. After all, my father was like that, all criticizing me especially at Christmas time, and always saying no, so I thought why would my husband be any different? Well he did move his feet when I vacuumed so that was all right.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
25 Jun 08
I know what you mean,its hard to get away from those generation things...I think men use that "Boss" thing but the way i see it,my husband is retired and if i waited for him to leave before i cleaned house we would be living in a pigs sty.Lol..Men ,at least my man is messy and he sometimes makes more messes than i can clean up...I think that man is the head comes from the Bible,and i do believe that,but if i am not mistaken it is talking about a righteous man ,that walks with God and puts his wife on a pedistal,but thats not the case here.....It would be really good to have a nice sweet helpful man,and all women would be nice and submissive but since they aren't then i will make him move his feet and anything else i want moved..Lol
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
22 Jun 08
Sure, it's happened to me already too. Maybe not feel like I wish I hadn't started it but sometimes I've gotten knocked down a peg or two, if you know what I mean, and made to feel like I'm stupid. But, I brush it off and go on usually. Heck, we all have a right to speak our minds and there's bound to be some disagreements or even snippy remarks now and then, just like in "real" life.
Annie
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
25 Jun 08
It totally floored me that someone would rather prefer the living room carpet be full of crumbs near the sofa he was laying on. I do not suppose that he would have taken the vacuum cleaner and say, 'Hear dear, I'll do it." No way. It was not even a controversial decision. What is controversial about vacuuming? I do not think watching a football or soccer game is that important. after all they have reruns.
@ElicBxn (63233)
• United States
1 Apr 08
To date, I have never regreted a post. If my former roommate were to join, I might....
I think that person is a jerk and you have to clean when you have the energy to do so, and if that's the morning, well, it can just interfere with his leisure!
To the guy who responded to suspensful: Stuff it jerk!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I would rather get things done in the morning as in the afternoon, I am getting a bit too tired to do it. I always feel like a nap in the afternoon, and besides that is also the time that we go out either shopping or taking a walk. As for that guy, he was a jerk. I mean anyone wants all the crumbs off the floor.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
Oh when I post a discussion, and you agree with me, by all means, do respond, but if you vehemently disagree, wait for a couple or more posts, so I will not feel you are ganging up on me. I just do not like people who go through recent posts and then if the person has a different view, be the first ones that post and why should the husband not move his feet when the wife is vacuuming?
@sun2day (1062)
• Virgin Islands (U.S.)
24 Jun 08
Maybe I just should not respond since I am living alone so to speak.
Maybe you ought to explain to him that you would like to clean up or maybe he can watch TV later, but I think there should be a compromise.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
25 Jun 08
It is okay. You might get married someday or one of your relatives might come to live with you, a Tv sports addict or something. Strange things do happen. Well thanks for responding. I do think that there can be a compromise. I do not like the idea of someone not allowing anyone to vacuum because their watching tv is more important - unless of course it was me watChing LOST.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I want to help people so when I say that some are that way because of abuse by an older man, that unless it is a girl, then I get a lot of flak. I am telling them they did not chose that someone else made the decision for them. And when I tell about abortion is wrong, I am thinking of our difficulty in trying to adopt before it was successful, and the other couples who want babies but are unable to produce them. And when I talk about being unable to vacuum because my husband is watching some sports channel, I am thinking of the other women whose husbands are now retired, and cannot properly clean the living room. And not all men are understanding like my husband. I wanted suggestions as to what to do, whether they asked their husbands to move their feet, and whether some did and the husband snapped at them. Luckily they asked their husbands to cooperate and they did.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
1 Apr 08
Yes a few times but oh well, I keep on going and not let it bother me too much.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
It is usually when I post a subject on morals and values, but this was so weird that someone would prefer a dirty section in front of moving his feet or himself while his wife vacuumed the floor is beyond me. And then I thought well here comes all the confirmed bachelors who prefer to live in a pig sty defending him, just as all the anti Christians come when I talk about Christianity. Luckily it did not happen.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Apr 08
suspenseful I think we all have had our share of starting discussions and wishing that maybe we could just hit the delete button and eliminate it completely...I've had that myself just recently. Most people who responded understood where I was "at" in my expressing my views and what I was trying to say but then I had at least two that were down my throat about topic..then ironically another MyLotter posted a discussion about wanting to be able to delete a discussion and I said yes and described which one I wished I could have deleted, but then one of my friends chimed in saying that, while he didn't respond to my discussion, he read it and completely understood what I meant and loved it..so I guess that made up for the other two who were down my throat--I can see you're point though if the very first responder says something...kind of sets the whole mood and not a good one
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
24 Jun 08
I was searching through discussions made by the other mylOTTERS, and I found that often it was the first responder who set the first discussion and made that one wish she never started it. And if it was a controversial subject, then everyone was saying to the first responder, "good for you, you told the --- b" not in those exact words but the sentiments were the same and I remembered when that was done to me.
It makes people afraid to write more than just fluff and I did not join myLot to just read about how clean a person keeps their house or whether to have hot dogs or fried chicken for the picnic.
@arcidy (5005)
• United States
15 Jun 08
Yeah that happend at least once to me before. and thats why I wish they would let us be able to deleate our post if we decided we dont want it up there. I mean every other forum where allowed to be able to deleate our post and we dont have to ask the mod to do it for us so why dont they just let us have that capability so we can deleate it maybe we should make a petition or something lol.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
I wish I could delete some messages, but then when I got that feeling and someone said nasty things about me or that I should let so and so get his or her own way, or that we Christians should keep our traps shut and let them go along without opposition, then I thought why should I let the nasty so and sos decide what I can and cannot write. They have all their minions that agree with them, that do not mind the area around the sofa being dirty, that do not mind someone else's life being ruined because their son or daughter decided to -- etc. so why do they want to mess up our lives? If it were a simple not agreeing but I will defend your right to do so, but in some cases, they want us to change our mind and say that what we were taught was wrong.
However in cases when I wrote something wrong and made a yes sound like a no, then I wish there was a delete button.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
Yes I have posted a discussion and then read the first response and wished I could take back the post. Sometimes someone takes the content of my discussion in the wrong way and they don't get what I mean by it. I am not saying it is their fault, no, it must be mine because I obviously didn't post my subject the way I meant it to say. So yeah, I wish I could either edit it or delete it but mylot doesn't give us that opportunity, and I don't understand why not.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
15 Jun 08
Sometimes I feel I have to post a message just as the writers of the D&ck and Jane did, every simply and condescending, because I figure unless someone is a complete idiot they should be able to read the meaning. I also understand that in the case of defending Christianity, there are those who do not want to understand and are willing to take it the wrong way. So I would think your message was clear enough. It was just that they wanted an excuse to get back at you.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Apr 08
Oh yes i did I posted a discussion titled something like would all non smokers be brave enough to stand up and the first answer from a male smoker was so nasty and rude I wished I had never posted the discussion. my idea at the time wasto giveall non smokers a chance to give their side of the smoking issue not to start world war three. I remember that man andhis answer to your discussion about retirees. he seemed to have missed the point entirely
1 person likes this
