Life happens...

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I'm sure some of my friends have been noticing that I haven't been here much for the past few days. Thigs are a bit complicated and busy right now. Grandma passed away last Friday and as you can imagine we have been very busy with that was needed to take care of.Specially since Hubby's aunt doesn't speak English that well and needs us to be with her to take care of everything. Thankfully everything went very well. The ceremony was beautiful and none of the foreseen problems happened for which I am extremely grateful. My mother and father in law - and my sister in law - which are respectively, son, daughter in law and granddaughter of grandma, and that didn't show up at the hospital while she was alive even once, made their appearance but stayed apart from us. WHich in a way was good, but at the same time was very strange - how come at least the soon was not joined with the family? He came to the viewing for about 45 minutes but did not even approach hubby's aunt - his sister -. Not to offer comfort, not to be there with her at that time. Actually none of them even offered a word to her. Hubby's sister - granddaughter - did not even show up at the viewing and when at the funeral never approached her aunt of us.Actually when it was time for goodbye to grandma and we were there in the line for the people to come by us to offer their condolences, the family was called to come forward and stay by the coffin. It was only us, they stayed in the line like acquaintances and when their turn came to face us they bypassed up just briefly going by the coffin. Some of you know that if there is someone that is in the wrong it is not hubby's aunt.She was the one taking care of grandma when she was sick for over 7 years. First while grandma was sick but still mobile and the last 5 years when she finally didn't get out of the bed, wouldn't move, had to be fed, changed washed etc. Hubby's parents never helped or even visited. Grandma was with hubby's aunt also when she was healthy, many years before. She was never invited or spend any time in my in laws home. It was always hubby's aunt for everything. Still two years ago, when they actually helped her out a few times taking her to doctor's appointments, hubby's aunt thought it was fair to divide some of grandma's assets and give half - even though they never contributed to anything for grandma - to them. They got about 60 thousand dollars and as soon as they got the money they never showed up again. Not in person to help, not even with a phone call. The money was gone almost instantly in trips, clothes, some of it for my sister in law etc. - which is their own business, not mine anyways, but it makes you think specially when they say they don't have money to pay their part of the bills and we have to pay both our part and theirs. What I mean to say is that if there is someone that has a reason to feel hurt or even upset is hubby's aunt, not them. And yet they were the ones acting like the victims. Note this: My sister in law's ex husband, that in a way is not really part of the family anymore, was at the viewing for the whole time with us. He was there supporting hubby's aunt, he cried with her, smiled at some of the memories, brought her kids and new wife, stayed there for support to all of us , offered rides to people that needed etc. He was at the funeral too always right beside us and always paying attention to hubby's aunt that looked like she would faint anytime.in fact he acted more like he was - and we consider him as being - direct family than they did! I know, I'm ranting and being really long... sorry guys. That said, in a way it probably was better that they weren't close or even faced any of us. I feared that if they did, hubby's aunt was so nervous and angry at the same time, she might confront them and that was something we didn't need at the viewing or funeral. So, despite all the undercurrents everything went actually very well. AUnt's friends and some of my friends came and made up for family's lack of manners. My daughter had written something for grandma and we were proud of her when she read it at services - Sister in law approached her later with a cynical smile and a " trying to stay in their good books hey?" this when my daughter was so emotional after reading it, because grandma really meant a lot to her - for everything and also because grandma and hubby's aunt babysat my kids ever since they were just tiny babies. - they babysat my sister in law's daughter too by the way.... But back to subject, it was indeed a beautiful service and what is left now is the rush of things that need to be done with grandma's things back in Portugal and slowly the getting back to earth feeling. Life happens... and death too