Your Conflict Stye

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Many couples notice that their arguments seem to follow familiar patterns. They may always erupt from nowhere, for example, or gradually build up over a period of days. Below are the most common styles of arguing. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in one of them. The peacemaker - you do not like arguments and see it as your responsibility to cool things down and sort things out as soon as possible, even if this means ignoring your personal needs or not having your opinions heard. The defensive attacker - you believe that the faster you act, the better. You are highly attuned to possible disagreements and will lay down the law or issue threats to prevent a full-scale battle. It often does not work, and even when it does you are left wondering if perhaps you went over the top. The subtle striker - you are tactical and persistent in making your feelings known. You do not like full-on attacks, preferring to wait for your partner to notice something is wrong. You may use silence, nag, moan or just go on and on about it. You often get there eventually, but it's a slow and exhausting process. The full-on foe - you have probably had to fight for your rights all your life and will always give as good as you get. Although you look tough, you are probably terrified of getting hurt and find every disagreement a painful experience. The shock-absorber - you are afraid of arguments and will do anything to avoid getting into one. Rather than defend your rights or attempt to put across your point of view, you sit quietly waiting for the storm to pass. But inside, anger and resentment may be building. The negotiator - you genuinely want to find a peaceful solution to problems without anyone getting hurt. You listen calmly to your partner's viewpoint and are confident when sharing your own. You want the best possible outcome for your relationship and, in your experience, consideration and compromise are the best way to achieve this. A friend of mine shared this to me few weeks ago... Sad to say... I am a combination of the defensive attacker and full-on foe. How about you?