Teaching Children Healthy Ways to Get Rid of Anger

United States
April 11, 2008 1:01pm CST
My grandson has been having problems with letting out his anger. He will huff and puff and tell us how he needs a punching bag because he feels angry. He also tells us that he wants to break something and be destructive. We have told him that it is okay to be angry but that breaking things is not the way to deal with the anger. Yesterday my husband took our grandson outside to play in the warm spring weather. The sun was shining and they had a great time cleaning up the yard and garden beds. My hubby also cleaned out the sheds and got rid of many of the items that had long been stored. He made enough room in the shed for the exercise bike to be in an area that it could be used. My grandson hopped aboard the bike and began peddling like he was in the Tour de France! Hubby told him that he should use the bike to get out his pent up anger when he was mad. My grandson agreed. Children need to know that it is okay to be angry. Anger is a natural emotion. Providing healthy ways for them to vent that anger is key to a healthy lifestyle. Encourage them to exercise as a means to vent this anger. It is better to exercise than to use a punching bag.
2 people like this
12 responses
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Great idea..Maybe he will eventually beable to tell you what is making him angry and then you can discuss it with him and maybe it can be eliminated..When my grandsons get angry, they are 6 and 4, I ask them why they are angry and they will tell me..then we talk about it and figure out a way to avoid what is making them angry..
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (128622)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Grandparents can be terrific assets for their grand children.
3 people like this
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
12 Apr 08
Thank you Garden...I love my two grandsons very much...I wasn't able to express my feelings when I was young and I think that it is very important for them to have someone to talk too..
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 08
He does have a difficult time expressing what has set him off. He is in a class at school that is geared toward helping the child express his/her anger issues and how to better deal with them.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (128622)
• United States
12 Apr 08
It was always amazing to me when we would give a child a punching toy if he was already having angry feelings, or tell them to hit a pillow. I think you are right, that at least some of the time a chance to burn up energy is helpful. I used to run around and around my large back yard when I felt anxiety, which was more my issue than anger. Another tactic is to establish a safe place or a rest stop for a child that is having anger issues. The can go there to get calmed down. When my great niece lived with me we made a "Cozy Corner" where she could go, unwind, be out of my sight, and have some of her favorite things. I put a "flip chair" behind her bed, where she could snuggle down with a toy, and blanket, and look out the window. She could be there if she was not kicking, screaming or doing things like that. It worked well.
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
12 Apr 08
When I was a kid..my safe place was a tree fort in the woods behind my grama's house..I wasn't allowed to express my feelings so I went there to be alone...
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 08
When our grandson is really having a difficult time we tell him that he needs to cool off and ask him to go find a place to settle down. He will go off for a few minutes and come back a little better.
1 person likes this
• China
12 Apr 08
We should know first why they want to be angry. Then, tell them excessive negative emotions would do harm to his psychological and physical health. We are supposed to modulate his attitude toward businesses around. He should learn to take deliberate action after thinking twice and remain this as a benefit custom, which will bring his more than advantages in his future life. Additionally, to give him a warm and comfortable environment for growing uo is the significant thing for his young age, which make him develop an instructive habit for thinking, coping with difficulties, action, and facing with all kinds of challenges. I don't know whether what I response here is useful or not. Anyway, bless!
3 people like this
@webeishere (36351)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I used to have an anger problem as well before I got clean and sobered up. before I would throw things and break anything and everything within reach. Once I sobered up I learned to talk things through even if it was with myself to deal with the anger. Now when I get angry I go for a walk, a ride, or bike and think things through getting rid of the anger. I no longer have it penting up inside and it's such a relief. I have a grandson that doesn't handle anger well and my daughter is trying hard to curb this. I hope she finds out what casuses this in him. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
• United States
11 Apr 08
Glad to hear that you were able to get a hold on things that bothered you Bob. Exercise is a great stress reliever. I hope that your daughter is able to get your grandson under control.
3 people like this
• United States
11 Apr 08
i used to always hurl my controller to the ground when i got fed up enough with a game. i dont anymore, but i dont have any other way of dealing with the anger, i just dont get as anger, dunno what happened.
3 people like this
@Modestah (11188)
• United States
12 Apr 08
I think the exercise bike is an excellent option for releasing energy...as well as stimulating those endorphines. I am against the grain in that I do not approve of punching objects to get *anger out* as I feel it is a substitute for punching the individual, and I think that it only serves to perpetuate anger. I am also not one to think that most anger is okay - but, by the same token I am not sure all that we classify as anger is actually anger... a lot of times it is frustration.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 08
I have never been one to believe in punching or breaking objects as way to release pent up anger. It only promotes more anger.
2 people like this
@Modestah (11188)
• United States
13 Apr 08
I am glad to see someone agree with me, elusive... I figure it irked some as my rating has gone down over night.
1 person likes this
12 Apr 08
Well, punching a punching bag IS technically a exercise, just a violent looking one. Maybe enroll the child in martial arts? They teach discipline and how to control your emotions and anger, and how to concentrate and focus.
2 people like this
• United States
13 Apr 08
We have thought about letting him take lessons, but not certain at this time if it will be appropriate for him at this time.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
12 Apr 08
Physical activity is an excellent way for anyone, children & adults, to vent anger. Kids need to be taught, sometimes, if they dont have a suitable role model. Mind you, some adults never learn how to appropiately vent their anger, & what's more, they dont want top. Its good that you are teaching your grandson this now.
• United States
13 Apr 08
I realize that other family members feel that this is an appropriate method for my grandson to get out his anger. But, realistically it is only telling the child that it is okay to lash out when you are angry. Providing them with a more productive means to get it out is best.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39893)
• Canada
13 Apr 08
those sound like wonderful ways to express anger in a healthy way, excise is wonderful. My son broke things and unfortunately carried that bad habit into adulthood but he is fine now.
2 people like this
• Canada
12 Apr 08
Wow, congratulations to you and your Hubby. I think that was extremely wise of you both to show your grandson a healthy way to vent his anger. I have seen too many parents just let the child have a huge tantrum, and it makes everyone upset and angry and doesn't solve anything.
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
that is right.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164167)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jun 08
hi thats such a healthy way to show your grandson how 'to use up pent up anger. I remember one teacher when I was little telling me that little girls must never get angry, as i had been chasing another little girl who said something so mean about my mom that I was chasing her around the playground hitting her on the neck. I was just so very angry.My mom told me that it was okay to be angry when someone said something bad'about someone you love, but hitting someone does not solve the problem then she let me take out some rugs and beat the dirt out of them, boydid that feel so good and the rugs were sure nice and clean when I brought them back in the house.