What is wrong with kids these days?

@kaysue4 (951)
United States
April 11, 2008 1:50pm CST
My son really likes this girl from online. She is 16 and he is 17. My son thinks that I am crazy enough to bring this girl up here to live this summer! Why do kids think that just because they meet someone online they have to meet them in person and that will be the answer to their prayers? My son is just getting over a relationship of a little over 2 years and thinks he should jump into another one with a total stranger. I have talked with her myself through video, so I know that is who my son is actually talking too, but things are NOT always greener on the other side. I will let her come here to goto church camp, but then when they come back, she is going back home even if I have to drive the 3 hours to take her back home. What are your thought on all of the kids wanting to do this, what about adults that do this?
4 people like this
20 responses
@djmarion (4901)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
blame the media for being a bad influence, they are the one that feed malicious information to the children these days, aside from that young generation are very impulsive and hot blooded, they want to get everything and try anything. as for the adult i guess it has something to do with their way of thinking, they are in a consenting stage anyway so just let them do what they want with their lives.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
i must say that you really love your son because you want him to be happy based on my experience as a teenager (before because i'm already 23) let your son do what he wants because someday he will realize what is he doing, EXPERIENCE is LEARNING.As a mother always talk to him in a nice way so that he will fell comfortable to you that he will tell you all his secret and as a mother advice him all the consequences.
@lingli_78 (12836)
• Australia
12 Apr 08
i think you are doing the right thing and i will definitely not allow my son to bring a girl to live with him in my house especially if he knows her from the internet... no matter how old my son and the girl is... i am just wondering what this world is coming to...
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Apr 08
LOL When I was 17 i did this very thing. My online boyfriend was 21 and lived in Ontario, Canada at the time I lived in BC Canada and he came and moved in with us til he got his own place then i moved in with him. Now if this was my child doing this there would be no way in hell. I got away with a good amount of things but I know I will not make the same mistakes my mother did LOL. He is hurting and I can totally understand that. I would definitely let her come for camp then send her back. Who knows by the time camp is over he may absolutely dislike this girl. Just take it one step at a time but definitely send her home afterwards LOL Adults that move across or to another country for this are absolutely crazy. I would never move for any man. Now I do admit I met my BF online but he is local LOL and normal.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 08
Wow that is something right there. While all I say is that you be careful. She may say she 16 but the real question is she really that age. These days kids are really looking like they are older. So if any thing I suggest you guys watch what you are doing with this, we all have heard stories. I just do not want you guys to get caught for being innocent. People can be shady and lie on you for no reason. Before I take the next step, I would try to meet her parents or so. You definitley should try to meet them before you try to get her to come to the church camp. I would do that for precautions you know. But this is the first that I have heard far as teenagers.
• Malaysia
12 Apr 08
Yes, I agree with Desmaster2007 as well, meet her parents first and check her background first. Approach your son when you are both in a cheery mood and discuss his feelings and the pros and cons to the consequences of online dating and precautions.
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
Hi kaysue4, Being a girl who chatted a few times in my teen years, i think i could say that chatting with other people online is really fun and i do agree that 'things are not always greener on the other side', ive never gotten to a point in showing my pics or do camera-camera conversations. Your an open minded mom for talking to the girl and let her live with you. Chatting is a very strong tool these days its either a bad thing or a good thing. If both chatters are really serious online they would learn and know the other persons personality not just because they see each other on cam but because through chatting one can know the other person through their mind. not through their appearance. Knowing the person on how they think and how they feel first than just looking at them. Know what i mean? I guess that's why some adults also find chatting with other people good for them. There are success stories about couples that hooked up online and ended up happily together. Your son probably connected with the girl on some level. plus you can always keep your eye on the situation right?
@kaysue4 (951)
• United States
11 Apr 08
Well, she is not going to live here. I do keep a close eye on the stuff that goes on with the computer, but I do still try to give them space at the same time.
• United States
13 Apr 08
I'm actually kind of in an online relationship too. But I want to wait to meet him. He wants to meet, but he's okay with waiting until I'm ready. We have talked a lot and I feel really comfortable with him. And I'm not waiting to meet him because of him...all my reasons are because of me. How long have they been talking? Do you know? I think at some point, of course they should be allowed to meet. But not too soon after they first started talking. They should defeniatly find out a lot about eachother. Me and this guy have talked about everything...our families, hobbies, interests, what we want in the future, movies, music, comedians we like...lol you name it, we've probably talked about it.
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
13 Apr 08
yes all kids are alike they make online romances larger than life and of course when you don't see the other person you don't see their faults either. Did you see the doctor fill show where a teenager ran off to the middle east twice to see her boyfriend, they were going to get married and she finally came back home, and realized what a mistake she was making.
@Darkwing (21588)
12 Apr 08
I guess, at 17, your son is quite sensible, and there shouldn't be too much of a problem here, as long as her parents agree to it. Church camp is a good idea for them to get to know each other, in a friendly sort of way, and will help them to decide exactly what their true feelings are for each other. You, as a parent are handling it in a very sensible way, but I don't mind betting, there's a few who wouldn't. But, kids are still finding their way in life, I guess, and the computer makes it easier for them. For adults, it's a different matter. I think especially women, have to be very careful when having an online romance. Things are not always as the seem, and many end up in tears or injuries. Brightest Blessings.
@chao168 (12)
• China
12 Apr 08
hello,friend..i didn't visit mylot very long time.how are you day.hehe..my name is chao.^_^
@s2a2n2 (1732)
• India
12 Apr 08
yes these days its happening quite common. Its not only with kids but adults too. infact they are learning from parents or other relatives. but this should be controlled a bit.
• United States
12 Apr 08
all i can say is i was a young guy once and i know that i felt just like your son but i was a little older and in college but i went all GAA GAA over a gal who was about my age..she was the oldest of nine and she was only 18 but to make a long story short i was away from home the first time in my life and it does not take much effort to act this way...if the feeling is mutual...but we know better when we get older that we are looking through life with rose tinted glasses.. it will be challenge to say the least but just do the best you can and hope that you can follow up on your plan of action...Church camp is good but I went to Church camp too..a long time ago and when the cats away the mice will play..so pray your son will do the right thing..as we "sin in haste and repent at leisure" good luck...i have a 37 year old daughter and a 36 year old son and teen age grand children and sometimes we have to let them make mistakes...just tell them how to avoid getting into REAL trouble..as they are too young to handle so much responsibility...and a man is never mature enough for marriage..lol..(from experience)
• United States
12 Apr 08
It seems to be coming more and more common, in teens and with adults as well. My mom is actually going through a similar situation with my brother. He is 19 though. He's been talking to this one girl for sometime over the internet. My brother approached my mom about this girl actually coming and staying at our house for a few weeks this summer. This stuff is just unbelieveable to me. When I was these kids age there was an internet but this was just unthought of to me. I mean I had some friends who were doing it, meeting people from chat rooms and such. It just never made any sense to me. I would much rather go out and meet someone and get to know them than trust what I read on a screen. I hear it from my friends now about their younger brothers and sisters doing the same thingds getting into relationships over the net. These kids are losing all sense of reality, getting sucked into all this. It's really ashame. So many of these teens are on their computers instead of actually going out. This was unheard of when I was that age. Yeah you used the internet but it never interfered with your real life, your reality. You went out and hung around with your friends during the day, and than at nite after curfew you signed onto the computer, usually to talk to your actual group of friend. to me trying to find love on the internet is part of the looking for love in all the wrong places. you don't really know who your actually dealing with through a screen. Even through a video chat one could portray themself as someone they really aren't. THis kids think they are unstopable. They need to realize that meeting people from the computer is just like meeting a complete stranger in a bar and going home with them. These kids need to realize and take more precaution, they need to realize that all these internet horror stories that we sometimes hear about on the news and such could happen to them as well. Hope all works out with you son, If you let her come and stay just be sure to keep a close eye on them to make sure hes not getting involved with some psycho maniac.
• India
12 Apr 08
Seems like you are in for trouble. I do not know why they do it cos I haven't have had a chance to do this anytime. But If my kid wanted to do some like this, then I would let him/her do this, but always have a tab on them. I would let them go over to their friends place to stay and all, but I would make sure that they are in touch with me always. I would make sure that I talk it through them and try to convince them that what they are trying to do might end up as something that nobody wished for, but hey, I should not be the one telling them about life. Life itself should tell them and they have every right to experience something without any objections. Be it good or bad. i would let them just go and experience things. bourne
@sanell (2114)
• United States
12 Apr 08
sorry I would not even allow the church camp stay at my home if my kids wanted to have some chick or guy that they hooked up with over the internet? That I am sorry not something I would be okay with ....period.
@magrylouyu (1629)
• United States
11 Apr 08
Kids are really getting out of control. They think that they run us parents. Even though at 17 he is almost an adult but he still lives under YOUR roof. I moved out 6 months after turning 17 because I found out I was pregnant. So I was able to make my own decisions. I have been doing so for the last 5 years. But living with my parents it's thier house, their rules. Now it's my house my rules. I always respected the way my parents felt and thought. I expect the same thing from my children now and as well as when their in their teen years.
@paulsy (1263)
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
Well, inspite of your point of view, I must say you are a good mother to give your son that opportunity to meet this person whom he thinks might be the answer to his prayers. And you also made a good decision to make sure to drive the girl back home after their church camp. I think that is very admirable. I think teenagers get so easily infatuated that they think they are already in love. Your son is still young, he still will meet others and will definitely learn a lot in the future. About adults who meet and fall in love online? I think they are old enough and responsible to know what's good and what's not good for themselves. I fell in love online, and we've been together for several years now... and I have no regrets... we're happy and we're doing great together!
@kykidd (6818)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I guess there have been some good relationships that have started on the internet, but I am not so sure about teenagers. This seems risky. I am sure you as a parent are also worried about your son's feelings getting hurt.
• United States
11 Apr 08
I had a friend in highschool that started all of these relationships online and actually convinced her parents to let one of the ones she was 'really serious' with come to her house for a few weeks. Needless to say, this guy was definitely not all that she expected and thought he was. He ended up flirting with her best friend and those two ended up doing something over the summer which put a strain on their relationship. She stayed with him for a few more months and they even tried going to college together. It was pretty much a love hate relationship. She finally decided she couldn't take it anymore and things changed after that. In my opinion, kids don't know anything about relationships, they get themselves into them online because they're easier and then things just go completely haywire. I wouldn't allow my kids to meet anyone they met online, even if I knew who they were. Just makes things really complicated and disasterous because they really don't know them at all.
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
11 Apr 08
Why do kids do it? Cause they are kids...As for adults who do it though, well thats a whole different ballgame as far as I'm concerned...Teenagers are still getting the hang of life and how it works (my son is learning things at the moment himself at the tender age of 14 LOL)..adults though..I'll never understand why some adults do some of the things they do...