Are you really happy or do you just want us to think so?

United States
April 14, 2008 12:48am CST
Many times people give a false rendition of their life and their circumstances citing that everything's ok, but behind the scenes its really not. We tend to want people to think well of us and not feel that they have to counsel us regarding the strife we are experiencing in our lives and so we keep it quiet and to ourselves, and we put on our outside smiles and speak encouragingly to others and act like everything is flora and fauna. Even when its not. Are you sincerely happy in your life or deep down are you really not? If you aren't, please don't feel obligated to give details unless you really want to, but at the same time be honest about whether your life is really as happy as you would like others to think it is.
15 people like this
56 responses
• United States
14 Apr 08
I would not know how to pretend to be happy. Right now as I type these words I am very happy. Who can say I will feel this way tomorrow... I think I will be now that I have released some tension. I went to church for the first time in months too. My daughter and my man are both sleeping. I have food in my house. I even have money in my piggy bank I won't touch. Yes I am happy right now. No it would not be good for me to pretend other wise. Great post!
2 people like this
• United States
14 Apr 08
I've seen several of your posts and, of course, discussions that you have done in the past and, yes, I see a marked change. I can tell that this new man has made a positive impact in your life and I sincerely wish you the very best.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 08
Oh you have no idea how much I want this. I could just pour out the tears right now. I am just looking at him sleeping. I have never felt I wanted to live with someone. He is the one who makes me feel this way. Thanks very much for making me smile. I feel warm inside just letting down my guard. Thanks
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 08
I don't know what I did, but you are welcome all the same.
• Australia
15 Apr 08
I have to say that I tend to pretend to most of my friends and family that life is always rosy, even when it isn't. That being said, I do have one friend that I confide in when things are going badly, so I do have a sounding board and someone I feel comfortable talking about the 'bad' things with. I have probably made my experience in China sound more positive to most people than it actually has been, but, there have been a lot of benefits to being here, and I have found out a lot about myself - good and bad - which I guess makes the overall experience a good one. I do often have trouble admitting I'm lonely, and being the only single girl back home made me feel like the third wheel amongst all my friends, who were all coupled up. Life is generally good though - I'm happy with myself, and with the things I've achieved.
2 people like this
@subha12 (18452)
• India
14 Apr 08
no i think i am not that much happy. and that too you can guess very well if you have seen me face to face. i do not like to pretend that i am happy when i am really not so. deep down i am not at all happy.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 08
I'm sorry to hear that subha. I know that recently you had posted a discussion about quitting mylot. I guess you changed your mind and I am glad. I hope things change for you whatever they are that is making you so unhappy.
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Apr 08
For the first time in a long time I am completely happy and out of my depression. I hated being laid off a nasty nice term for being fired just because I was nearly eighty. I knew I could still do the job but what could I do. Since then my life has had some bad in it like two years ago when i fell and landed on my left shoulder. Allthe bones were just shattered so had tohave a shoulder joint replacement and months of theraspy. it almost shattered mylife as I have a almost useless left arm. But I have learned to cope. then last january I had an attack of bleeding diverticulitis and was hospitalized for that. now I am more healthy than I have been for ages. I do find happiness in mylotting and fun too. so now I can truly say I am happy.
• United States
14 Apr 08
Hatley, I am really glad that you have found happiness in this site. Not too long ago, I was helping a lovely woman who also had broken her arm in several places and after months of treatment is unable to use her arm. She had a very difficult time with things and I am glad that I was there for her. I moved away, but now my aunt helps her several times a week.
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
14 Apr 08
Actually there are certain issues in my life that no need to be smiled with. Thats why im enjoying myself as long as i can. Im not pretending to be happy but i just want to see the other side of me. I realized by thinking unpleasant things can only make me feel depress and i don't like the picture of me if im drown in my emotional problem... Mylot friends, my baby niece and my family encouraged me to be strong in facing my troubles in life. And im gald i did...
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 08
I'm happy too that you are getting the emotional and spiritual support you need from family and friends and I hope that you will continue to be as optomistic.
@mishastar (738)
• United States
7 May 08
Well if I'm feeling down or depressed, I really don't want everyone to know I am unhappy. I don't like to tell people my business because i learned that people will just respond with "well that to bad" or "I'm sorry". I discovered that those responses will not fix whatever is making me feel down, it'll only make it worst. So I will pretend that everything is alright, and talk to my mother afterwards. She always makes me feel better.
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 May 08
There is absolutely nothing fake about me. If I am feeling a certain way, the entire world know it; not because I am overly emotional, but because I am REAL. I am myself, and I will express verbally what is on my mind. Yesterday, for example, I was in a really good mood, because I was flying home from 6 wonderful months in Phoenix. I love phoenix, but I was also pleased to return home. I was happy, either way. Today I'm happy, but I'm feeling a little bit jetlagged.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
My opinion is that I would rather let a person know whats up with me. I would not tell someone that im happy when im not. I think its a lot better to be honest if you feel pain or are upset. Let your friends help because Ive held back my feelings when I was hurt or upset for years and trust me it really messed me up bad. Now I have problems that I have to take meds for. I take 3 antidepressants a day so I can handle my life. Thats honest to. Though most people do not feel comfortable enough to reveal their feelings to total strangers. I dont want pity either. Ive made a change with the help of my meds and am getting better.
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I can truthfully say, kbourgerie, that I have struggled to find that elusive state of being for most of my adult life. I am envious of anyone who has found true happiness because it seems to have eluded me. Having had the happiest of childhoods, I grew up expecting that my life would continue to be happy. I have had moments and degrees of happiness, but I cannot say with complete honesty that I am happy.
1 person likes this
@saraloui (25)
15 Apr 08
I used to be one of those people that put on this social mask ie. laughing on the outside, falling apart on the inside. I am happy with myself and the way life is. I wake up feeling good about myself and don't waste time worrying what other people think about me.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
My life is not as happy as I would like others to think it is, but it is rather happy. I have a good friend that I am able to vent all the bad stuff too, as well as enjoy the good things in life. I have a wonderful husband, a cat and a snake to share life with. My parents and I are very close, especially my mom, and I have two brothers who are overall pretty cool.
1 person likes this
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
15 Apr 08
I am happy and I have alot to be happy about. Yes sometimes my kids drive me crazy b/c I'm with them all day long but I am very lucky that I have them and get to enjoy them as they grow and learn and I learn new things from them. My husband is great he is always there for me and does everything he can to help me. He works 8 hours a day and still comes home and helps out with the kids and around the house. My family are great also no we don't always get along or agree on everything but they are always there when I need them. I do wish that I could make money to come into the house and help out more but I'm not willing to leave my kids with anyone during the day to go get a job. Nice discussion
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
15 Apr 08
I am not really happy. I have joy though because I am a Christian, but that is a different thing. The reason for my unhappiness is that my husband is not that well. He had a small stroke. I want to move to the States, because I cannot take this cold weather, but if my husband passes, I do not know if there would be a nice widower from the States (also a Christian affiliated with our church) who would marry me when there are others who are younger than me.. I worry about my daughter-in-law who has a deadly allergy and if they go to a restaurant, maybe the waitress will tell but the cook will forget and put celery flavoring in her dish. I am unhappy because sometimes I am misunderstood and there are some that talk about me on myLot. That is some of the reasons for my unhappiness.
@Sheena_C (87)
• Canada
15 Apr 08
Had you asked this question a year ago, I would have said that no, I am not happy. I was miserable, I hated my life. I was depressed all the time and I never slept. I was gaining weight and losing any motivation that I may have had. Now, it is an entirely different story. Last year I thought I would be happier if I had left my husband, so I did. I moved in with my Mom then got my own apartment. It didn't make me happier, in fact it made me so much more depressed that I cried constantly. Me and my husband ended up working out our differences and getting back together. We have just bought our first house and move in in a couple months. I have a amazing little boy, a wonderful, understanding husband, a fantastic job, my own business, I attend Yoga on a regular basis and I am happier than I have ever been before in my life. I am very, very happy with my life. I do have moments, just like everyone else I am only human, but all in all I am happier than I have ever been before. I love my life and couldn't ask for anything else.
1 person likes this
@applefreak (3131)
• Singapore
15 Apr 08
seriously, how does one response to the question 'how are you doing?'. i've tried to give honest answers when i'm not doing so well. but the look on the other person's face tells me that they don't really want to know. sometimes we tell the truth only to those closest to us. colleagues and acquaintances would rather be spared the truth as it's rather difficult to respond. if you were to meet an acquaintance on the street and asked the 'how are you?' question, do you really expect them to actually tell you how they are really doing? if they are really down and out, will you actually lend a helping hand? guess that's why we sometimes just reply with the standard 'oh everything's fine', wearing a smile on our face :) i can't say that i'm the happiest person in the world. but i'll touch my heart and say that i'm happy overall. like the saying goes - the happiest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who makes the most out of what he has
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Apr 08
I used to pretend I was always happy even though I was miserable. However since I got pregnant with my daughter my happiness is very much real and everyone can tell.
1 person likes this
@jazgottt (1181)
• Poland
15 Apr 08
hi kbourgerie. yes, I am really happy:). It is not because everything in my life goes the way I'd like it to go. But I'm happy with what I have. My friends and family are healthy and alive - that's all I need to feel happy:). I am that kind of person who smiles all the time. Have a nice day, jazgottt.
1 person likes this
@chrislotz (8200)
• Canada
28 Jun 08
I know I am not really happy right now, and haven't been really happy for a very long time. I hope to find some peace and happiness in my life now, I have left my husband after 19 years, three months ago, and I am starting my life over again. I have moved to another province and I am starting my new life and it is getting better, but it can also be very lonely at times. Thank goodness for mylot, it has saved my sanity. My husband got into gambling the last 5 years and he has lost everything we built together in the last 19 years. I mean we even lost our home and all of our RRSP's and we are bankrupt. So, no I am not very happy, but hopefully things will get better, soon.
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
7 May 08
I was horribly depressed over being forced to resign from work when I first joined mylot but it has given me something to do and that coupled with my outstanding date night every other Wednesday has brought a lot of happiness into my life. oh I moan and complain when my left arm does not want to work but truly I am coping now. I remember one good thing from that dreadful Care house,which is now under investigatione for poor patient care, and that was this physical therapist who told me you can always do a little more than you think you can. these people I really did enjoy as they did not work for Care House but for themselves, and he was right. I found that by pushing myself a bit I really can do more than I had thought I could. I cook for myself, do my own dishes,clean house and all the things that most others do and I am 81. I am sound of mind and can get around.now if only I could lose some weight I would be really happy.
@moondan (714)
• China
19 Apr 08
To be frank,i am not happy as i am looked. I am a person who am used to disguising myself.I am timid and afriad to let someone else to know what i really think.i smile all the time and prefer to make joke with friends and make them happy.i want to see them smile. I want to everybody around me all feel happy.whether i happy or not,i smile and when my friends feel sad and have difficulty,i will encourage them.When i meet some troubles,i will cry and sad by myself.I don't want my blue mood affect my friends' mood.i will disguise to smile loudly and talk loudly.My boyfriend complain that when we quarrel,i still be seemed as usual,still talk and study.he is sad and can not eat anything.but he don't know i am sader than him,my heart is hurt,i hinding in the bathroom and cry without stopping. I think my mood can not affect my parents and relations and friends,they all love me ,they want to see me smile and want me laugh loudly.so i will hide the sad.