Do you do timeout or spank?

@rlc456 (415)
United States
April 19, 2008 7:33pm CST
I answered a discussion today about the girls in Florida beating up their friend. I just have to ask you guys out there how many people spank their kids nowdays? I really feel that some children need spanking, I'm not a mean person, but kids nowdays think they can get away with anything and they are not to be touched. Well I don't agree with this. Maybe if these girls or boys had a good old fashioned spanking they would see the arrow of their ways. I am not talking about beating a child, I am talking about a good old fashioned bottom spanking. Tell me what is wrong with this? My dad used to spank us, it never hurt me none or my 8 other brothers and sisters, we sure didn't act up anymore after a good spanking. Would love to hear from you guys out there.
4 people like this
18 responses
@bubblyapple (2654)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
I know that some thinks that because kids are not spanked, they do get away with so many things. But for me, i prefer that we use time out. Simply because time out provides an opportunity for the children themselves to reflect on what they have done. Although for younger kids, you have to talk to them and explain why they are in time out and what they should be doing next time. Also, I believe that both spanking and letting them go to timeout would be USELESS if the children do not understand why they are getting them. Children need things to be explicitly explained to them to be able to see things the way adults see them. But then again, sometimes, even with explanations, things still don't go the way we plan them to.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
2 May 08
I don't use time outs, either. We use natural and/or logical consequences. Everything relates directly to the misbehavior as much as possible.
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
20 Apr 08
i do both actually. It really depends on the disobedience that was done before i decided the punishment. My two year old is very mean and demanding and can sometimes get out of hand, so occasionally i have to spank her little butt to remind her that she cannot act that way, but most of the time i can stand her on a rug and tell her when she's done she can come back and she's fine and does fine afterwards. my older two i ground. they are 9 and 8 and very rarely do i have to spank them unless they have just done something horrible. i do think that you have to spank sometimes because if not kids become so out of control because they think there are no consequences to their actions anymore. God bless
2 people like this
@Hatley (164229)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Apr 08
what the heck is a good spanking but a outbreak of violence that begets more spankers as kids growup and think that the only way to teach kids to obey is to burn their bottoms? I raised my kids with time outs and sit in the corner and they both were well behaved kids.sadly we lost my little girl when she was eight.but no way would I spank either of my kids.I was paddled and allit did for me wasto make me furious and to hate my dad.It did not make me a better person. my mom did that by giving me the look when she gave me the look I knew Ihad dammed wellbetter clean up my act My dad never did touch me again. I lost all respect for him and his caustic tongue andcritical eye.Wait til your father gets home is not funny and is cruel to children.And what the devil is the difference between a socalled good spanking and a beating? Most kids who are whipped do not think there is a difference. ask any kid who has been spanked they will not agree with you at all. the adult has the power
@mnflower (1301)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I dearly disagree with you nowadays alot of the kids need a good swat on there bottoms A good ole spanking never hurt anyone, just cause your father was a abuser does not mean that all parents are that way and it is not fair to say it is violence, why do you think we have all those kids that are telling there parents to shut up and just run all over the place with no rules..exactly cause time out just ment they could sit and relax and not worry about it..no matter how much you talk to these kids now days i have never meant anyone that did a time out any good except time for a nap.... a swat on the butt you get there attention and explain why they getting the spanking and they will for sure think twice doing it the second time it is not going to make them violent or disrespect you i bet if you ask half the kids they appreciate the fact that they get punished at home for parents nowadays do nothing and just let the kids walk on everyone look around you it is happening all over kids shooting kids, kids stealing now in the day of spanking you never seen kids doing any of that so you tell me which works best...
@rlc456 (415)
• United States
20 Apr 08
Well, I don't agree with you I was spanked as a child, I am now 52, and I can assure you I never abused my child. He got a good spanking when he did wrong and was told why. My son is now 25 and has his own son, and he is a good father, and he beleives in spanking if his son needs it, and he tells him why.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
2 May 08
Kids don't NEED to be spanked. Kids need discipline and guidance, but you can do that without ever putting a hand on them. Some parents CHOOSE to spank...but it's not a NEED a child has, ever.
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
It is against the law to spank a child in Quebec. It cause ground for the social services to take the child away. Parents have to use time out, withholding privileges groundings etc as an alternative.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I have never agreed with spankings I was only spanked twice in my life as a child. Both times it did no good. I just learned how to do the things I wanted to behind my parents back. My sons were never spanked. They didn't do time out either. I found a punishment that they hated . I made them write sentences. I honestly think that whatever works for your kids is right for them. As long as they listen and mind when they are supposed to . the discipline you give them works.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12071)
• India
20 Apr 08
I usually do a time out first. When my older son was younger, it worked....but as he grew older and it didn't work, he did get a few spanks (only when it was really necessary). The first spank he got was when he was 5, I think...and he must have got around 6-7 spanks in the last two years. The younger one is just 17 months now...and time outs don't work (and looks like it won't work even when he's older). He does get little taps on his hand when he doesn't listen (after he is repeatedly told not to touch something and he does). So, personally I do timeout as well as spank. I've seen cases where the parents do the spanking alone and that doesn't work after a point. Anything within limits (I believe) is fine and like you said, some kids do need a little spanking sometimes to get the message across. I handle kids in kindergarten and I should know (I'd never hit a child in my class....but I can see where some of them need it and the parents don't). I've been spanked as a child...and since it was limited and done only with good reason...I know it worked on me!
1 person likes this
@jeanniemay (1803)
• Philippines
20 Apr 08
Yes, I agree rcl456 that the old fashioned spanking works. It was some form of love and discipline and children before like me learned from it. I don't seem to understand why when children are spanked this days for discipline, they tend to act more and do more against it. I would believe that television or the media gave a big role to this. Maybe, we need to really guide children on what they are watching or even what they are browsing in the internet.
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I am a firm believer in spanking.. Most of the children who misbehave haven't had the experience of getting their bottoms busted enough.. I had my share of whippings and am still living, my son had his share and if I had of had more children, they would have gotten whippings when they needed them.. I do not believe in abuse, but abuse works both ways, let your children grow up running the show and you will pay for sure when they are grown.. I knew who the boss was when I was growing up and my son knew when he was growing up.. I believe that is why we are called adults.. We do have to show good judgement and not whip our kids when we are so mad that it could turn to abuse, but when I whipped mine, it wa the type of whipping that hurt me as much as it did him.. I used discipline as a means to teach my child and show him the right way to act, live and grow.. I never whipped him when it was just a matter of getting on my nerves, he had to be guilty of swomething that he really deserved whipping for.. He also knew that I loved him even after he had a whipping.. I raised him and he did turn out good, but I raised him without one time in my life using the "counting, 1-2-3" method, that really burns me up.. I do not believe third times the charm when it comes to making a child mind, I believe that he is to mind with no negotiations.. If he was in the right, he always receivd praise for it, but if he was wrong, he received discipline.. I would never have harmed my child in any way, but letting him think that he can do anything in this world and get by with it is causing him more harm than good..
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
5 Jun 08
It depends on the offense.I have spanked my kids and will stand by it till the day I die. When kids think that they are untouchable they lose sight of their boundaries. I grew up being spanked and know that I had each one coming and a few I never got. I stand on one major rule though if it leaves a mark you've crossed the line.
@amerexp (25)
• United States
8 May 08
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a good old fashioned spanking. My kids get them....when they deserve it. I really try hard to "weigh" the situation before I spank. If I just spank them for everything, then a spanking won't do any good. If the offense is serious enough, like doing something that will get someone else hurt, then okay. There are many other times that just a time-out is "good enough"!
@neelygal (1022)
• Bahamas
8 May 08
My kids get spanked,sometimes very often,lol.I believe what the bible says:Spear the rod you spoil the child.I got spanked as a child and that is one of the things that made me the woman I am today.My husband always tells our kids if you could listen then you wouldnt have to feel.My ldest son is getting a little big now to be spanking so we punish him when he needs it by taking away his DS.That works even better,lol.My youngest son ssays that I like to beat him and tell his dad so he will get beat.That isnt true though.I just want to teach him before he gets any older so that he will grow up right and be well behaved. Two night ago I spanked both of my boys for being wasteful.This is one thing I cannot stand.They used a whol bottle of bubble bath and a half a bottle of shampoo in one bath and I completely freaked out on them,lol.Lets just say that I dont think they will try that one again for a long time,lol.I think that it really depends on whatever works for you.Every child is different.Just make sure that you are raising behaved boys and girls that are one day going to run this world.
@phoenix25 (1542)
• United States
8 May 08
I do both. It depends on what he did that was wrong and how his previous behavior has been that day. I think some kids are okay with timeout and that works for them and their parents, but others do need to spanked every once in a while. I saw how my aunt's kids turned out after using ONLY time out...I feel kind of sorry for her (almost) because her 3 kids are an absolute nightmare now. They talk back, they are snotty, and they say mean things to people behind their mom's back and their mom never believes it whenever you try to tell her what they did. I have never seen such vindictive and spiteful kids. I'm sure that a spanking every once in a while would keep their butts in line. One thing that I find funny is that people tend to use one or the other...spanking or timeout. I think using both is kind of a smart compromise. You can use timeouts as long as they are working, but save spankings for serious offenses and for times when your child just refuses to obey no matter what. I will add that it is statistically proven that people in the south spank their kids more than people in the northern US. Up here in Iowa, I have to make sure I don't spank my kid in public (which is usually where I have the most problems, ironically) because people are quick to call DHS if you so much as look at your child the wrong way. In the south it wasn't like that. I was raised in Louisiana and everyone I knew got spanked. It wasn't a big deal there. It also wasn't uncommon to see some mom spanking her kid in the walmart parking lot.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
2 May 08
My children are 22, 18 and 15. None of them have ever been spanked, nor have we ever used time outs as a discipline tool. None of them have ever been in serious trouble at school, been in ANY trouble with the police, or anything of the sort. There are plenty of ways to teach your children how to behave in respectful, appropriate ways without hitting them.
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
30 Apr 08
Each to their own - we spank my son and don't feel bad about doing it either. We know others don't agree with it, but we raise our son the way we feel is best. He does get time out now and then or toys taken away from him as well.
• United States
20 Apr 08
I agree with you 100%. I now have grandkids, my children are all grown up except one. I used timeouts most of the time, but also used a spanking on the butt. I do not feel there is anything wrong with this. If you look at the society today, it looks like more kids should have had spankings. So many children disrepect their elders and their parents. Look back at respect children used to have for their parents. You very rarely find that anymore. The saying used to be "spare the rod, spoil the child", I believe they had something there. I dont in anyway believe in beating your child, but a spanking in my opinion, is needed now and then.
@stephcjh (32327)
• United States
20 Apr 08
I have tried both of those when my daughter was growing up. I tried the time out thing because I really did not want to spank her. It did not work very well, so then I had to resort to the spanking. I didn't spank her hard but it did get her attention. I think it hurt her feelings more than anything.
@weiyi5151 (120)
• China
20 Apr 08
well,i am with you. kids should been spank by there parents .but unfortunaly some of the parents don't spank their kids but love their kids than ever.... that's really a pity...
• Bahamas
20 Apr 08
I'm afraid my kids are a little to old for time out. So they do get an occassinal spanking.Sometimes their deeds warrant just that.But i have ulternative methods of dealing with them.In certain situations a spanking wont do the trick so i have to figure out something else.I'm not quick to spank, but i'm also not afraid to spank and knowing that usaully keeps their behavior in line.