should i accept someone who has done awful things to me in the past?

@rexiemay (402)
Philippines
April 22, 2008 10:51pm CST
i have been friends with someone a few years back. however, because of jealousy maybe, she started to spread some nasty rumors about me which destroyed my reputation. now, she apologizes for everything but i cant seem to trust her. i really have a soft heart but im still afraid to trust her. what do you think? should i accept her? thanks
1 person likes this
11 responses
• United States
23 Apr 08
It takes a big person to admit that they were wrong for their actions and to apologize. If it was me I would try to forgive her. But don't get to close to her too fast. Be friendly but be wary for awhile until you know for a fact the the apology was genuine. I would not go and tell her some things about yourself that she may be able to twist and turn around until I see what her intentions were.
2 people like this
• Romania
23 Apr 08
I don't think it's a good idea.
• United States
23 Apr 08
You have a few "rules of the heart" you must follow. If you feel that you can't trust her, you probably cant! Then again, we should seek forgiveness, and be able to forgive, but then again - once bitten twice shy, then again do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I know its kinda gibberish, but all true. The only suggestion I have is to truly follow your gut instinct! It sounds like you don't trust her and probably never will. Picture letting her back into your heart, and then doing the same thing again - could you handle it? I don't think I would go through with a relationship with this person.... Just my thoughts
1 person likes this
@rexiemay (402)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
thank you. i guess i just have to follow my guts. its really hard to trust someone and then fear that she would betray you again. thank you.
@Ohara_1983 (4119)
• Kuwait
23 Apr 08
you can give her another chance but dont give her all your trust, as long your the friend but never ever trust her like before, who knows if what her plant to her next day. just be a friend, take care & have great day.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (115242)
• United States
23 Apr 08
I have had that experience, and yes, I did accept the person back into a cordial relationship, but I do not let her get very close. I do not let her know anything that I do not want the world to know. More like, I can say "Hello" and not want to kill her, but we are not real chummy.
@subha12 (18452)
• India
23 Apr 08
i think it depends on you. also its the case how you can take this. are you able to forgive her to what she did? do you think she will not repeat this again? \if so, then go on.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Apr 08
were the rumors lies? or was she exposing you out? she may have been trying to protect you if she told on you, but if she lied about you, it even says as one of the 10 commandments in the Bible which we are supposed to follow if were really his true people, "Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor" Now there's you some real truth! I know it's hard with a huge heart babe, but you need to live the best life you can. jess.
@digerati (287)
• Philippines
10 Jun 08
hi rexiemay, i see no problem on doing mistake... it is being human... but doing it repeatedly and with an evil purpose, is inhuman and hard to forgive.. never the less, we, as people, did this over and over again to the Lord, yet, he remain so close ready to accept us if we repent on Him by heart... if He can, why we can't? we are just mere creation of Him, why can't we? pray and ask strength to forgive such person... if it really hard, ask for a priest and may his advices remove hatred in your heart... hoping peace on you, digerati
• Lubbock, Texas
23 Apr 08
Forgiveness doesn't mean that everything can be the way it was. Forgiveness means you can put the past behind you and let it go. Forgive her for your own sake, be civil and respectful to her, but resuming a friendship with a person who would deliberately try to ruin your reputation is just asking for a lot of heartache.
@sexyjo (69)
• Trinidad And Tobago
23 Apr 08
friendship goes a long way. in my point of view i think you should not accept her as a friend , acknowledge her apology but make it clear that you can't be the way you all were in the past,if she was a true friend she would have been honest in her thoughts, never be friends with someone you have doubts about, i am not saying to treat her bad i mean if she said hello ,say hello back ,how are you? be wise as serpent,i have one best friend we went to same high school that was 8 years ago, we had many fights and fallen offs , but in the end we resolve our issues, the reason for out fights is that we were to honest with each other,i know i can trust her,don't have any enemies,but always remember you come first, dafe guard your feelings. a true friend especially among girls is when they can compliment each other on the way they look, achievements,life on the whole etc..........
@seiyuh (162)
• Philippines
23 Apr 08
I've been thinking on how I will react if this friend who 'destroyed' me in my previous job will come to me and apologize.. unfortunately, she still haven't approach me. You're lucky she still have the guts to approach and apologize to you. If I were you, I might forgive her, whether she's being true or not. But of course, things will be different. You might not associate much with her like before.
@Cocoa33 (921)
• United States
23 Apr 08
no way, thats a bad move. you would be crazy to do that. u would be allowing her to do it to you all over again, if you were to accept her back in your life.