That's Not Fair...

Fairness... - Fairness...
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
April 27, 2008 10:44am CST
Growing up most kids are taught fairness. Another child takes your toy, you take theirs…that’s fair. If one child gets ice cream after dinner, all the children get ice cream after dinner…that’s fair. But as we grow up most of us find out that life isn’t fair. Some ppl do better than others, some take advantage of the system and get away with it, some ppl lie and cheat and still seem to have everything. Over the years I’ve learned the lesson of life isn’t always fair…sometimes it was hard learning but I learned it. I still get amazed when I hear my Nephew say “That isn’t fair” and I wonder when he will learn that life isn’t always fair. Do you still believe life is fair and that we’re all treated equally? Why do we teach children about fairness only to have them find out when their older that it isn’t fair? Do you think karma is the alternative to fairness when we’re grown up? **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
6 people like this
23 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
27 Apr 08
I believe that we should teach our children fairness because it is the right way to be. Just because someone else is being a jerk, does not mean that they should be. We want them to always be fair, because you get what you give. Life won't always be fair, but they will know to do the right thing anyway.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Apr 08
Little by little I teach my children all the time that life isn't fair. Usually they if one gets something, the other gets it too. But if I planned to give them something, if one acts up, that one won't get it. Sometimes I have to go places, and I don't always have the money (bus fare) to take the both of them, so one gets left at home, and I explain to them what happened and why they aren't going with their brother/sister. My children come home at different times of the day, and sometimes my son will walk in on the tail end of something that my daughter has gotten as a treat. Sometimes I will give my son the same thing, but sometimes I don't. I let him know that he will not always get something that his sister has.
2 people like this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
28 Apr 08
As the saying goes "If life was fair bra's would all come in one size" Since they don't I can only assume life isn't far. It would be nice if it was though. I think we teach our children about fairness hoping that with each generation we will become more fair to one another. The hope that maybe for us it isn't but for them it could be. That eventually it will all work out. I do think there is karma to life. I've seen things that make me believe so. The expression of "what goes around comes around" seems to be true, at least from my experience. Maybe that is what we are trying to teach kids. That they need to be fair if they want to have fairness come to them.
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
27 Apr 08
Children need to be brought up to know that life isn't fair. When my 10 year old grandson says to his mom "That's not fair" when she won't let him do something he wants to at the time she does tell him that life isn't always fair.
2 people like this
@paid2write (5201)
27 Apr 08
I think it is a difficult thing for everyone to learn about life and some people never do learn. If you cannot accept that life sometimes just isn't fair you will probably end up very bitter and full of anger or hatred. I think you are right to say that belief in karma is a good alternative way of looking at it. Children expect things to be fair. Adults have to accept that each of us is reponsible for our own actions and what we get out of life depends on how well we behave and what we do for others.
2 people like this
@DonnaLawson (4032)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I am not sure about Karma and what role it would play in later years, but you are right, life isn't fair.. I did learn fairness when I was growing up and taught it to my son, but it does not always work the way it should.. I have stood in line many times and when it was my turn to be waited on, someone else would come up and get waited on before me, especially at places like McDonalds.. This worked a few times but once I get something on my mind, I am determined to make it right, after a few time of this happening to me, I now just politely step up and tell them, I am next in line, so far, so good, but you never know when you will have a confrontation, because everyone doesn't believe in fairness, especially the "important" ones who do not believe that they should have to wait their turn, either at a restaurant or at a 4-way stop.. Have a great day..
1 person likes this
@nannacroc (4049)
27 Apr 08
Life isn't fair and sometimes children have to be told that but gently. I think children learn quite early that life is unfair but we should still help them to understand fairness then they will grow into nice people and maybe make a difference to others when they are older.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157050)
• United States
27 Apr 08
My kids grew up being told that life is not fair. I did not realize this until I was babysitting a couple of kids, and the one my son's age lost several games to him. She of course said "That's not fair" and he looked at her and said "Mandy, life's not fair." I guess I wish I had taught them a little more than that "Life's not fair, but it is often very good." I believe that it is. I believe that whatever we take into ourselves, and whatever values we show, and put out there are what we become. Is that Karma? Perhaps. I sat about four rows back from a young couple, their one year old, and the Grandma. This baby was born VERY prematurely. His doctor has just now started allowing him to be in groups of people in public. I thought of some other things that I know that the grandma has been through over the last twenty or so years, and I felt it was not fair to her, but I love her sweet and loving demeanor, and I know that life is very good for her. Pardon my mental wandering. Life is not fair, and is sometimes very tiring, but it is often very good.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
27 Apr 08
great discussion, but how can karma be the opposite of fairness or anything else karma is just what your life is going to be, one way or the other. No life certainly is not fair, but what we do for our children is to teach them how to be good people otherwise if everyone was out just for himself in a dog eat dog world as the corporate America is often referred to, life then would be even worse.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
27 Apr 08
Life has never been fair and I wish I could get some fairness out of it as some way to make more money than we do now to pay the bills and raiseing gas prices now if they were fair about it I would think we would put a stop the gas prices rising but the Govenrmanet aint doing a thing and thats not fair lol
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
27 Apr 08
i think the real question is what is fear. No one person is better then the next person. we are all capible of doing wonderful things if we don't allow our egos to speak for us. it is all a matter of perception. life is what you think it is. the world will only give you what you thing it will. so if you want life to be fair, then you have to think honest and peaceful thoughts
@musicman6 (2406)
• United States
27 Apr 08
Yes, that was the biggest realization impact I've ever had, is to learn that I was brought up to be fair and honest, and then to discover that nothing in this life is fair and honest! But, somehow compassion was instilled in me and has stayed because I still have the compassion for others in spite of learning how cruel the world and other people can be! Basically my principles have concreted in me, and are unchangeable, I stand with them like a solid granite rock, in spite of the cruelty of the world! I don't try to "force" these principles to my children and others, but I merely show them by example! Life itself will teach them the way the world really is!
1 person likes this
• Australia
10 May 08
we are teaching our girls that there are consequences for their actions. If they do the right thing, they get rewarded for it. If they do the wrong thing, then they get the time out or lose a privilege. Fairness doesn't come into it really, society expects certain things from kids these days, and as a parent, it is my duty to see to it that they make the grade. Is a losing battle sometimes, but plenty of little victories along the way too.
@LouRhi (1502)
• Australia
27 Apr 08
you are on some levels life is not fair however if we bring our kids up with the notion that fairness doesn't exist then what hope have they got. And if we don't have hope then what will we have? I think karma provides a wonderful alternative to fairness and not just for adults. I teach my children about karma all the time. Even those that lie and cheat successfully will eventually get what is coming to them!
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
28 Apr 08
The word fair means free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice:. since we live in a world that is full of humans life will never be completely fair. Some one will always have more, Some one will always be judged with predigest. I tell my kids that life isn't fair. so now they won't be as disappointed as they could be if I tried to make life fair.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
5 May 08
It is a rude awakening, finding out that life is not fair. Teaching them to be fair, in a way, is making them a little more flexible.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Life is not fair. Some good people have bad things happen to them and some bad people always seem to get away with things they shouldn't do. My kids would sometimes say to me that I was not fair to them for something. I told them to get over it cause one day real life will him them and they will learn what life really is. If life were fair the bad guys would be stricken with terrible illness while the wonderful people would lead a full and productive life. But in so many cases we find it easier to take the short cut or the easy way out. It is easier to steal $100 than to work for it. That is the feeling that some people have. Others think that the world owes them something because they had a hard time growing up. I dont know if I would call it karma but life is never going to change. Some people are always going to make poor choices others good ones. The key is to learn from mistakes, some do, some dont.
@mouse27 (1155)
• Canada
29 Apr 08
i've raised my kids that just because everyone else has it doesn't mean you get it, i used to take my oldest daughter to a friend of mine when she was about a year old and my firends kids would all be eating candy and my daughter wouldwant some of it but i would give her a banana instead now because of this she would radther have a peice of fruit then a pile of junk food and she's 9 years old now
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I teach my kids that life is not fair ,but in our own little world we can make it fair even if we have no control over others. Just because others are not fair it doesn't mean that we have to follow their steps.
4 May 08
everthing is unfair and everything is fair .our effect decide if fair or unfair