A man who is mad to death to his bestfriend for getting engaged to his ex?

United States
April 27, 2008 5:14pm CST
For me, it's his past, his ex,they got kids but they are divorced already and his best friend and his ex started to date after the divorced so, he is actually out of the picture now, no reason for him to be mad and curse the new lover!I just don't get the point why he is very mad! What is your stand about it? will you be mad as death if you were the man?
2 people like this
15 responses
10 Jul 08
Yes he is jealous of them. Plus he has kids, I suppose it is normal to feel this way as he has once been with her and now someone else has her. Maybe he would feel different if he met someone else.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 08
That's what I'm thinking too! Thanks for dropping!
@digerati (287)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
hi checapricorn, this is a heart case, and it is complicated and cannot be stopped lawfully... emotionally, we do not know what's the story behind the divorce, and his bestfriend's intention and his ex wife's plan.. it is complex, digerati
• United States
10 Jul 08
Correct digerati, I know this is common in our society and it breaks a lot of friendship! Thanks for dropping!
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
27 Apr 08
I guess it all depends.. if i was the person who was getting married, id think it was stupid that the ex was mad at me for that.. but yet, if i was the ex, id probably be mad and feel like it was justified just because its my friend and they saw what i went through when we divorced.. its a tough situation.. probably the kind where you only think its reiduclous if the odds were in your favour.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 08
Hello YoungInLove, maybe, the man is still in love or maybe he will be ok only if NOT his best friend!
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
28 Apr 08
To be honest yes he might be thinking that they were having affair when she was his wife and doubt that she take divorce coz of him Just think by that point of view and tell me ur comments
• United States
28 Apr 08
You also got a point cupid! Maybe he was that way, so he just can't accept them both! Thanks for dropping!
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
29 Apr 08
U r welcome other thing a friend is person u share ur problem ur trust and never expect such thing from him/her honestly reply after that can he feel comfortable with friend or can gio his place Take care
• United States
29 Apr 08
Correct, maybe he just can't accept the fact the he trusted his best friend enough and confided everything to him and now, he is engaged to his ex! Pretty awkward though! but, I still have the feeling that, when its over, then let them do whatever they want to do, maybe just need to lie low!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
27 Apr 08
I do not thnk i would like my best friend to marry my ex if we had a child together..He probably feels like his best friend has stabbed him in the back so to speak....I have a friend that was married to her husband for 15 years and they had 2 children,well she left him and they got a divorce...Her husband tried to date me after they divorced,but i would not date him..#1 he was my best friends husband#2 i did not see him as a man i would want to marry because i knew him to well as a friend...I think this man has a right to be a little upset..
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
28 Apr 08
Ok think of it this way...Say you are married to a woman and you have a child with her,you and she does not make it and you split up.you will probably see your friend and you will probably tell him all your problems,you may even still have some feelings for her,after all she is the mother of your child....Ok then your best friend the one you confide in a trust,goes straight to your ex and has a realtionship with her and your child....would you like it? thats how you have to think about it ,,,,,,,you have lost your ex and child.plus your best friend....
• United States
28 Apr 08
ohh...thanks for the response slickcut, this maybe his feeling, he lost everybody whom he trust and care most!Thanks for dropping!
• United States
30 Apr 08
Well darling it is this thng called respect you just don't do it to your friends how would ya feel if it was ya in his shoes that is just the way I feel
• United States
1 May 08
I was thinking at first that I will not mind since our relationship is over but lately,I tried to digest all the responses of my friends, I realized that it's hard to be around then and to pretend that I am just fine not unless maybe I have also my new lover that time!
@agfarm (930)
• United States
30 Apr 08
Dear CheCapricorn....Forgive me for going off Topic here..... I have read Many of your posts , they are very well thought out and thoughtful. I was wondering....Do you have a girlfriend? If not....are you looking for 1 ? Anyhow....what ever the CAse may be....I find you to Be a perfect Gentleman! God Bless XXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOO A.
• United States
30 Apr 08
Thanks agfarm for being kind..I am married and very happy and contented! Have a great time! Enjoy posting!
@laydee (12810)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
I found it somewhere in this discussion about the code of ethics thing. I say it's true, it's the code of the gentlemen to never date/marry whom the other man let go. Well that happened in the traditional sense, but I believe it still is true today. One thing comes into my mind when I hear this type of code. It's like, why do you need to pursue someone your best friend dumped? I mean, yeah, she is still a woman but can't you find someone else and let them be? There are so many women in the ocean, why fan the fire between you and your friend? I think that is usually the case for people that's why there are conflicts. People are overly focused on themselves that they fail to see that they are hurting or insulting the other. Yes, they're divorced, but that's enough for you to stay away. They had problems and you knew both of them, so leave them alone and find someone else not 'involved' in your friend's past. Unless you want trouble or you want to lose a friend. I had a similar experience before. My friend had this boyfriend she had been with for a long time. Suddenly, their relationship went on the rocks and the guy sooner or later confided with our friend (another friend). They started talking on the phone etc. Until, the guys says he liked her better than his girlfriend. She confounded to me that she had fallen for the guy but wasn't sure what to do. I told her to simply ignore and never to talk to the guy anymore. I told her that no relationship would last if it started wrong. It's wrong for her to be talking to the guy so intimately because that guy is my friend's boyfriend. Regardless if they're on the rocks or something like that. So she did stop. Now a few years after they broke up, and the guy approached her again. And this time, he told her that he's really serious. Well, she didn't pursue. This time she understood our point. Past may be past but there are hurts in the hearts that would never really heal. Experiences and memories that the two of those friends of our had. Regardless if they're together or not. There's a code between friends to never be with a person the other had a relationship with. Find your own guys. The man isn't the only man in the world. And if your friend dumped him for a good reason, bet that you'd dump him again for the same reason. Why? well, birds of the same feather flock together. =)
• United States
29 Apr 08
Hello laydee, I got your point and it's true that it is a big insult to a friend of someone will take what he dumped specially is this person if a close or best friend who knows every single detail of your experiences! Pretty awkward!
@youless (100243)
• Guangzhou, China
29 Apr 08
It's just so ridiculous. He was the first one to give up his love. So he shouldn't complain anybody. His marriage is already over. So why not be generous and give his ex blessing. This man is so mean and narrow-minded.
• United States
29 Apr 08
that's what also I'm wondering why he hate so much about it, maybe he just can't take that his best friend will pick up his ex!
@ladym33 (10990)
• United States
29 Apr 08
I strongly believe that people should not date their friends ex's out of respect for their friend. It is just something you don't do. Maybe if she was an insugnificant girlfriend he dated years ago it would be OK, but if it is an Ex-wife, then it is wrong, unless maybe several years have gone by. It is just a matter of respect, not to mention it will be difficult to still be friens with someone who has your ex around all the time. Not to mention, couples talk about old relationships, there may things she will tell her new boyfriend (his friend) that he does not want his friends to know, personal stuff. Plus there is the whole comparison issue. It just is not a cool thing to do.
• United States
29 Apr 08
Hello ladym, your argument enlighten me in a way and let me realize how valid this man anger to his best friend!I also realize when it will happen to me, quite awkward then not until maybe this man will find his own girl!
@trusko (198)
28 Apr 08
I think there is this unspoken rule (or maybe even spoken), that you don't date your friend's exes. I would never dream of even think of my friend's partner or ex in that way. I know you can't help yourself how you feel, but... I was once in a situation, where I was with a guy and his best friend started to chase me. I was 19 at that time. I did fell in love a bit with his best friend, because my then bf didn't pay me attention and this guy did. However we both agreed, that it would be wrong to persue anything further. We remained very good friends for years. Ultimately you want people to be happy, but still I couldn't imagine my best friend dating or marrying my ex.
• United States
28 Apr 08
Correct, it might be so easy to say, it's ok but when it's real, just very awkward and hard to be facing and seeing them everyday!
@gemini_rose (16257)
28 Apr 08
It is hard to explain but even though you do not want to be with someone anymore, you just do not want to see them with anyone else. I had a boyfriend once that I was with for about 2 years, the relationship came to a natural end with us both not wanting to be together anymore. But when he walked in the pub one night with a new girl on his arm, I freaked!! I was fuming and I made the girls life a misery, actually it turned out she deserved it because she was one dirty you know what and well she was horrible, so maybe with me it was instinct that I knew she was bad for him. But anyway back to what I was saying is that I did not like the fact that he had moved on, especially seeing as I had not and even though I did not want him, I did not want anyone else to have him either!!!
• United States
28 Apr 08
Thanks for sharing gemini, maybe that's what he felt also, or maybe it will be fine for him when he has already found someone for him!
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
28 Apr 08
I guess it's okay if significant time has passed after the breakup and clearly there is no more possibility of my ex and I getting back together. But soon after the breakup there is always a possibility of reconciliation. When hot heads have cooled we usually realize our mistakes and feel that we still love each other. In that case friends should stay away from my ex because it could just be a temporary "break".
• United States
28 Apr 08
you got a valid reason too and the fact that it's a best friend, maybe the man felt that he was being stubbed at the back by the two!
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
28 Apr 08
I dated my friend's ex husband but I asked her first, if she would have been uncomfortable with that then I would never have done it. I know I don't like when my friends date my ex's I can't stop them but I don't like it either.
• United States
28 Apr 08
I understand your point winterose, I also can't see myself accepting and be comfortable on it! You are right, maybe the best friend failed to ask this guy to date the ex at least the man will know also what's going on in his best buddy's life!
@Hatley (164220)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Apr 08
He cannot fault his best friend now that his ex is his ex. He is probably consumed by the green eyed monster jealousy to the point he is not thinking clearly at all. If I were in his place I would wish my ex the best and move on with my own life. Jealousy does nothing good for anyone at all.
• United States
28 Apr 08
I agree, the fact that they decided for a divorce, it means everything is over!Thanks for dropping by Hatley!