The Slavery Card...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
May 4, 2008 12:18pm CST
I had a situation happen a while back and I wondered how others would have handled it. As some ppl here know, Hubby and I were foster parents for 2 years. I loved having the kids around and we had our share of unusual kids…in fact we always seemed to get the ones that no one else wanted. We had a gay boy, an Indian princess, a boy who was convinced he was a raccoon, an Egyptian princess, a couple closet mental cases (meaning we didn’t know until after we got them) and a black girl. Now this situation has to do with our black girl. We live in a small rural redneck town so a black child tends to stick out but since we had several of the other kids that were somewhat off the wall we figured she’d blend right in. She met our gay foster son when we went to pick her up and she was nervous but he helped her to relax b/c she realized that if we could handle him (he was very, very out of the closet…pink hair, purple nailpolish and makeup) that surely we could handle her.
Well, the trip to pick her up was about 3 hours long and Hubby was home with the rest of the kids. When we got home the older kids were working on dishes and had started dinner. I showed our newest to the girl’s room and her bed. She came back out to the kitchen where I was working on dinner. I told her she could give the girls a hand with dishes and she got a shocked look on her face and announced “My people have suffered for 500 years because of your people!” I fired right back “Well, my granddaddy paid good money for your people so get your butt over there and get busy!” LOL She started laughing and everything was great from there on out. She told her grandmother (who was white) and her caseworkers (one white and one black) and she was laughing the whole time she told them. She would tell ppl that I made her pick cotton in the fields and so our gay foster son nicknamed her Cotton. When I told him he couldn’t do that b/c I didn’t want her feelings hurt she got mad and said she liked the nickname. They were forever joking about her cotton picking.
I sincerely hope no one takes offense to this b/c that isn’t the intention and I realize the seriousness of the slavery era and all the horrible things that happened in that time. However, to the best of my knowledge no one in my family on either side has ever owned, sold or borrowed a slave. It certainly was over by the time I was born and most definitely by the time Cotton was born. I personally think it was a test to see how we would react to her being black.
So, how would you have handled her statement? Do you think it was racist? Have you ever been in a situation of having to deal with things that happened long before you were born?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
6 people like this
16 responses
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
4 May 08
good for all of you what happened in the past we none of us can change but i think if we did more laughing and lesshating things could only get better !
3 people like this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
4 May 08
I think I would havelet your gay son alone on that as he
was I think just helping her to fit in and had no thoughts
on the racial prejudice line at all. It is so easy for us all to go overboard when prejudie was never thought of at all. I
know why you told him that of course. I am remembering an
incidentthat happpned when I was working as a nurses aid out
of a nurses registry. I worked this one night in a convalescent
home . on our brake we nurses aids got to talking about
food and about the kinds of nuts we like and I blurted
out Ni***ers toes instead of brazil nuts then was so embarrassed as one of our group was a pretty negro girl . I apologized like crazy for my blunder but she just laughed and told me that in her family they also called brazel nuts ni**er's toes but I
felt so bad still. I just had not realized the old nicknames we use for thing could be interpreted as racial slurs.another time I was working in a hospital in Long beach with a young negro woman who was also an aide and every word I said to her, no matter how innocent,she took as some sort of racial slur and I was completely taken aback. I was never racist ever. Everyone
else told me i had said nothing that could be misconstrued at
all. She evidently really had a chip on her shoulder at all white people. it was so hard to talk to her and I felt really bad
2 people like this
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
5 May 08
That's a good story, one worth remembering and writing down. You are lucky, though, or rather fortunate that it went well with both her, and thus far, readers--some people will take everything the wrong way.
DR...
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
4 May 08
Yes, I think it was absolutely a test and humor is always a good way to respond to a tense situation. Once a call-center coworker prejudged me for whatever reason--usually it is that I am somewhat diminutive in size and overeducated--and as she was large in stature, self-actualized, and noticeably black in a bull pen of workers with one white male, a handful of hispanics, and the rest white, mainly from the south, she she did stand out, so to speak. The first day she was assigned to share a cubicle with me I was on a phone call with a client when she moved in and when I got my first break she was on a call and it went back and forth so that we didn't have an opportunity to greet one another for an hour or so. Then we both got a break of just a few seconds long at the same time. I smiled at her, but she seemed to be just dripping with hatred, and loudly snarled, "Are you afraid of me?" I shot back "The only thing that scares me is stupid, but if that is how you see yourself, that is your problem and not mine." Both of our phones rang immediately and it was another hour before we had a chance to exchange words, but from time to time I heard her softly humming a little tune. We had lunch together that day and became instant friends and were inseparable for the several years we worked together.
So one day when we were laughing about something together, I asked her "by the way, why were you such a rotten "b" to me the first time we met, as I had never done anything to "p" you off yet?" She replied that she does that to everyone just to separate the phonies from the real people, because if she is going to have trouble with somebody she would rather have it out in the open right away rather than wasting a lot of time being nice and then getting hurt in the long run. Proactive self defense, I call it. Some might say it is just a mask for insecurity, but I like for people to lay their cards out on the table. Honest people are way less scary than those who leave things festering in the dark.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
4 May 08
No, I haven't been in a situation like that, but I think it was handled beautifully and I am happy to see that she had fit into your family so well..
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
26 May 08
I bet she was a real little treasure. Having chores in the household is normal, and I have to say, she was rather cheeky to say what she did. Still, you were very quick at thinking up a response and it all ended happily.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
5 May 08
being a biological mother of a bi-racial child, I have heard and seen it all. My clients tried to play the racial card on me and it didn't work either. She was testing the limits to see if she could get away with it and you called her bluff, I would have done the same thing.
I probably would have said, your right and my families slaves were hard workers, more than I can say for you, now get to work like the rest of the kids on the chain gang, or something like that.
I think you did great.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
5 May 08
sort of my hubby was from the south me from the wst wehre I never paid attention to thre issue thay had in the south I was shocked to find out when I moved to tTenn that some still fought the civil war an this was 10 years after that war.
WE had black friends that we wuold go see and have dinner and other stuff with and my daughter thought that the woman had been her nanny but she wasnt was just a friend.
I beleive she was testing and your fired back just waht needed to be to break the ice between you
@lucy02 (5015)
• United States
5 May 08
Well if it made her relax, laugh, and feel comfortable then it worked. Sounds like you had an interesting group of foster children. I think that I would enjoy having these kids. The "normal" kids can be a bit boring, lol. I'm glad they had a loving, caring family ...even for a little while.
@slickcut (8140)
• United States
5 May 08
No i think it was cute! and the little girl must have thought it was cute too because it broke the ice and things went well....Lol....All that slavery crud went on before we were born,but i think that the kids hear about it from their parents ,like we hear about the depression from all our older folks in the family...I often tink of it when someone brings it up..I have no idea how all that started but i can say i do not think any of my family ever owned a slave,my family was too poor , plus my family would not believe in that anyway....But back to the discussion ,i think you did good ,it was cute,i did not see it as racist....
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
5 May 08
Well, as an African American woman myself, I can understand her statement. I honestly don't care much for your statement, but I am not upset about it. Yes, they paid good money for us, but we should never have been up for sale in the first place. The thought of selling another human being for any reason is disgusting to me.
I am glad that she was not offended by your comment, because it could have seriously damaged her self-esteem. When I think of what happened to my people years ago, it hurts me to my soul. I will never understand why another human being would think it alright to treat another human being like that. I don't talk about this subject very often in public places, but since it has been brought up, there is just one thing that I would like to make clear.
African Americans as a whole are not prejudice. We are simply reacting to the hate that has been directed toward us for many years. It is not us who snub our noses and act like we can not be touched by other races. We were abused and still being abused in many ways. There is this attitude as if to say, we acknowledge it, but you don't have the right to be upset because this is the way it is. Now shut up and take it.
I don't hold any hard feelings against anyone. We should all be treated the same. But people are constantly reminding us that we will never quite meassure up.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
5 May 08
Sounds like you were a Great Foster Mom! This is a Great story! It's not easy to be foster Parents. I couldn't have done it nearly as well as you did. The Kids were really out to Lunch! But you gave them Love and a good start on their lives! Love makes the world go round! Thanks for helping Humanity!
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
5 May 08
Well I guess I would have done the said the wrong thing. My people helped her people resettle in Canada since I am a Canadian desendent. We never had slaves. So when someone black tries that one on me, I tell them that. But the blacks that try that here are from NYC. The ones that don't are from the Military.
At any rate, why isn't she an African Princess or Queen?
The name Cotton reminds me of when I dated an Asian (Korean) who was learning American History. He sang, "When them Cotton fields get rotten, you can't pick very much cotton, etc." He had such an accent, I really laughed. He took offense to my laughing. "People were slaves, it was history." But try that song with all the vowels clipped short and an accent. It is hysterical! Take care
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
5 May 08
I'm a black woman,from the Bahamas.
I have never experienced racism, but my parents told me lots of stories of their struggles for economic equality.I have learnt of their fights for equal rights, and majority rule.But despite all this i was never taught that we were victims.I was raised to be proud and to work for what i wanted and most of all he instilled in us the fact that nobody owes us anything.But rather that we owe our forefathers, who fought so hard for us, my dad use to say."It's for you to go out and build on the foundation that was laid for you." while it is always good to remember your past as a people, it is even better to use that past as a stepping stone to create a better way of life.Like you said this was more likely a test on her part judging by her response, and no i do not think it was racist.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
4 May 08
Even though I was shocked at your comment when I first read it, I don't think it was racist. First, it was meant as a joke, not even a mean-spirited one. Second, she was the one that brought up the situation, and it was good that you were quick-witted enough to fire that back at her. It made everyone loosen up about the situation, as intended. I feel as long as she didn't take offense, there was no harm done.
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
5 May 08
Gotta hand it to her for being such a great sport about all of it..and i don't think anything was racist..mind you i'm white so haven't had to feel like she may have ever felt.Even though since i'm so fair they did call me Rosie potatoes in school and said i must only go out by the Moon since my skin couldn't take the sun..LOL
