Being catagorized
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40193)
Canada
May 6, 2008 7:56am CST
A friend of mine had a birthday party and she invited me and others to come over. Now my friend is a little confused as to where I fit in the scheme of things. You see, she is the type of lady who thinks one you reach a certain age, sixty or so, you are old and that you would rather be with the ones your own age. So when I came over to her house, I saw the two oldest ladies in the church there, white hair and everything (now my hair went white prematurely) and I thought "oh no, now we will have to talk about grandmotherly stuff and aches and pains," Well soon another friend showed up -she's in her seventies, but the type whose hair does not go gray early, and we talked a bit. Then some more showed up, and my two friends who are in their thirties and forties and my other friend who is the best singer in the Church -in her thirties or twenties, not too sure and then I felt better. Now tell me, when you are with your friends, are you afraid of being categorized or do you prefer being with friends of different ages?
6 people like this
16 responses
@viewpoint (137)
• Philippines
6 May 08
I like to be with friends of different ages. But I really don't mind being categorized at all. I also like being with friends whom I can exchange my thoughts and ideas with, it really doesn't matter what age they are.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
6 May 08
I do not like being categorized as old, middle age, young etc. I like friends of different ages as long as someone does not say that I am old. I do not mind getting the senior discounts but I would rather that they demand to see id because they do not think I am old enough.
1 person likes this
@fec139 (810)
• United States
19 May 08
but to say that all they want to talk about are "grandmotherly" things, and aches and pains, you are stereotyping. There are people over 60 who talk politics, global warming, community affairs, art, theater, etc. you shouldn't just look at people and assume, because of age, that all they know how to discuss are "grandmotherly" things, or aches and pains. you can no more do that than walk into a room of African-Americans and assume they can't talk about anything except rap music.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 May 08
The ones I hang around with talk about their grandchildren, and what they did on the farm, not about politics. The men talk politics, religion and stuff like that, but not the women. It seems when there are old people, they assume you want to talk about the past. It is only later that they start talking about the climate why global warming passed us by in January and February of this year up in Winnipeg, but it mostly about the past.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
Yes but when you first enter a house or the hall or a room, you see who is there. You have no idea whether they like cooking like you do unless they are all wearing chef's aprons, nor if they love sewing or knitting unless they have their children in home made clothes, or have a hand made sweater on. So what you see is what they look like and their age, whether old, middle aged, young, or with children. So when I see the older ladies in first when I went for my birthday party, I got nervous.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
There more spread out the ages the better and if they bring in the kids so much the better.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
I like a mixture. I can talk to anybody and since I look younger than my years, people think that I am in my forties, and since I have now lost weight, I look younger. Who knows if I keep this up, someone will think I am in my thirties.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
20 May 08
I have always mixed with the younger group as well,i can talk to all ages but i would hate to be shoved in with only the older group.I look younger than my age too...and it makes me feel old to hear all the health problems they have,not to be insensitive but you know sometimes you just hate to dwell on the same old subject...
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Jun 08
My husband has health problems, but he is getting better and I do not want to dwell on it. Besides I love fussing with babies. Just because I am over sixty does not mean that I have to act that way. I am still young in my mind.
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
7 May 08
suspenseful (9773)
hey us old broads need friends too!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 May 08
Yes but do all the friends have to be over sixty-five or even over fifty-five? I do want friends who are younger as well. They keep me young.
1 person likes this
@revdauphinee (5703)
• United States
8 May 08
to me age is mind over matter if you dont mind it dont matter!
1 person likes this
@mummymo (23706)
•
6 May 08
My friends all have one thing ion common - they are lovely people ! I do not care about age or anything else and I have to say that I don't think anyone has ever tried to put me into a category either - or if they did I didn't notice or pay any attention to it! lol I wouldn't get upset if they tried - I would just thank them for trying to make me comfortable but tell them I loved to meet all different types of people from all backgrounds and ages! xxx
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
The trouble is this friend tries to put me in a certain age category. She thinks I should be comfortable with those of mine own age, but after church I try to talk with them, but then I run off to the nursery and talk with the mothers and then I do not shy away when the little kids are running around, as someone my age should. I like to think young.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
6 May 08
I don't like to be categorized. I like to mingle with the younger and older. Why should it make a difference.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
It is they do not know where you will feel comfortable and assume that you are comfortable with those of your own age. So it does make a difference to someone who prefers to be with a crowd of various ages. We all prefer to be with a mixture and I would go batty if I had to go to an old age home and only see younger people on weekends.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
6 May 08
I don't really have any friends that do that. Only once, when I was invited to a Sicilian wedding I asked to be put at a table with english speaking people, my friend said there was a table for her friends at work because she knew since they didn't know anyone and couldn't speak the language it would be difficult for them so she was already on top of it, but that is the only time.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
7 Jun 08
The other day, I was at a shower so I sat with my friends who were all younger than I. Now their children are all grown or teenagers, and there was my other friend the one to whom I feel sort of like an aunt or big sister. She has a little boy who is in the toddler age. Now a lot of the time, this other lady who could be in her seventies kept trying to draw me into a conversation and kept distracting me. It came that I wanted to talk to all my friends not the one who considered that I should only talk with those of my age or older. I did not get a chance to fuss with the babies there and I love to do that.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
6 May 08
Most If not nearly all of my friends are younger than I am so when I am invited to socialize with them everyone is usually younger than me. I do not get categorized and I never have (so far) felt out of place.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
Most of my friends are younger than me. Maybe that is because I am young for my age (no not immature,) but I feel uncomfortable with those of my own age who are their age biologically as well as chronologically.
And I did not go through the experiences as they did, not a grandmother four times over, and I did not have three or more children, and I married late. I sort of feel like an older sister or a mother rather than a grandmother.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 May 08
I hate being assumed that because I am a certain age, that I am old and that I should join the Senior's society. That scares the pants off of me. I feel better with those who are younger than me. I love babies and children, and with people my age, they are usually have been grandmothers for longer and they talk how terrible childbirth was and how they are glad it is over and that to a woman who wished that she had gone through childbirth after she was married.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
6 May 08
I feel more comfortable with others my own age,but would not be discouraged if most of those who were invited were older as I get along with people of all ages. We went to a bbq and baby shower over the weekend, and everyone there was in their 40s and up and the friend that was having the baby is 29. THey had invited all their friends from church and we were their only friends outside of church. It just so happens we were younger than them, but that was ok, because we still had a lot of fun and chatted with everyone.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
It is nice to have everyone of different ages, then you can talk about different things. It does happen that when most of the church are older people there are no young people to come to the shower I like a mixture, different ages though just in case there are those like me who are young for their age and like to be around children.
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
20 May 08
I have friends of all different ages so I guess I would prefer not to be categorized. I mean, if I were in a large group of people who were divided up simply by age groups it wouldn't necessarily be true that I'd feel the most comfortable or have the most in common with those the same age as I am. I totally get what you meant when you said about having to talk about aches and pains! That's NOT my idea of a fun time at a birthday party. Once I was in a restaurant and at the booth facing me was a group of four elderly ladies and all they talked about the whole time they were there was all the various operations they'd all had and they didn't spare any of the gory details. I guess the bright side was it did act as a good appetite suppressant.
Annie
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
21 May 08
That is why I try to steer away from people my same age and older. I like talking about religion and politics, and the state of the world, but it seems unless they are talking about grandkids, their main subject is on aches and pains and since that is what they talk about, seeing I do not have anything wrong with me except infertility, slight wheat and milk intolerance, I find I am left out.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
6 May 08
Oh no, my best friend is older than I am and I also am comfortable with some of my children's friends..On myspace, is was my daughters friends who requested me and I talk to some of them sometimes..I love a whole variety of ages, the younger to see what new thing is going on to the older for the stories that are historical..I love it all!!!
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
I love to be with people of all ages, but I feel more comfortable with those who are younger than me. It could be that I look younger than my age, and I have a lot more energy. It also could be that I never got a chance to do the things the others of my age did, so I feel that I have been left out and they are rather satisfied that they did it all. So when someone limits me to someone the same age and older, I get rather scared.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
19 May 08
I also like the younger crowd because I still have a lot of energy for someone my age and I still race my kids and play with them..But I also like the older group where I can learn..so I get the best of both worlds..
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
8 May 08
Well seeing I am over sixty, there is not that much choice in those of my own age or older or even a little younger that have a young attitude. I married late, so I do not feel comfortable with those who are my age or in their fifties who already had their children and are glad that that is over with. And when they say "aren't you glad you did not go through that anymore" I think "well I wish I had gone through that childbirth and seen my children growing up, instead of the only children I got I never got to experience that birth to three month rituals."
So I prefer people of all ages, but mostly those who are younger than me.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
6 May 08
I have biggar fish to fry I guess because this has never been an issue for me. I have friends 20 years younger than me and I have friends that are 30 years older than me. what counts for me is what the person is like and if her interests come remotely close to the interests I have that's fine. The biggest thing is how the friends treat me as a person. I have made some very valuable friendships over the years but their age or the size of their wallets has never entered into how I choose to be friends. Thank You and have a Great Day.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
19 May 08
I did not mention the size of their wallets. I do not want to just have someone have a party or a gathering and think, "Well A happens to be 65 so lets bring over Mrs V who happens to be in her 80s and Mrs V who is in her late 50s, so she can have someone who is her same age, so she will not be upset with the younger people there," and then when I show up, they are the first people there and she tells me to come at 2:30. I could have come when the rest showed up. I have friends of all ages, I do not like categorized as to preferring someone who is the same age or older. It also makes me have to shove to see the new babies, because everyone else assumes I prefer those of my age or older.
@sunkissed (4330)
• United States
6 May 08
Well I do not like to be categorized. I do ike to be with people of all ages. I have friends that are younge and also some that are old. I feel I can fit in with people of all ages, as long as the people have something in common with me. To me age really does not have a thing to do with it.I really to not want to be put into a certain age group. it really limits me.
1 person likes this
