Do you HAVE to be married to be happy?
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
India
May 8, 2008 11:25am CST
Well believe me, I am extremely broad minded regarding this. I have experienced both: marriage and being single. In my case, I felt more lonely married than I ever did as a single. So, in MY case, and I am sure in many more cases, single people ARE very very happy being single. This is not to say that married people are unhappy. Of course, if they have found the right partner, they have to be happy!
What gets my goat is this: there are some characters in the world who make a single person feel as if she or he is missing a great deal of something big! Of course, a single person may be missing something big (like having kids, for example), but married people are also missing out on what the singles enjoy! However, many people feel that only the married are happy, that happiness is absolutely impossible being single. Well, what do you feel? I am single. I am not miserable; on the contrary, I am too busy with more than a dozen things to even dream of being miserable. What about you, Mylotters?
Do you feel that a person HAS to be married to be happy? Will be delighted to get your views regarding this.
Cheers and happy mylotting!
5 people like this
21 responses
@babymar (359)
• Philippines
9 May 08
it depends, if you don't really love your partner and married him/her, then you will not be happy...if you married the right person and you understand each other, then you will be happy....it's nice to stay single when you are young, but when you are old, you will be lonely coz you are alone with no children around you to love and care for you...
...it's not good to be single when you are old coz no one will care about you...you will just live by yourself...
2 people like this
@babymar (359)
• Philippines
11 May 08
it's sad to know that there are kids that don't care much about their parents....while for me, i couldn't bear to see my mother sad, so i do everything to please her....
and when i am old enough i will never put my mother in a home for the aged.....i will take good care of her and love her all my life....
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
9 May 08
well, it is really depends on individuals i guess... for me, there are times when i feel happier when i am single and there are times when i am happier when i am married... but overall, i will choose to be married rather than single... i like the feeling of having somebody to support and be there for me when i feel down or need someone to talk to... also, there is someone who will take care of me when i am sick like what my hubby does to me about 2 and a half months ago... for me, if we had found the right partner, then of course it is happier to be married...
2 people like this
@thebeaddoodler (4262)
• Lubbock, Texas
9 May 08
Every one has some unhappy moments in a marriage, but it sounds like you have a good one. To have somebody hold you when you cry, be happy for your achievements, take care of you when your sick. . .that's what love's about and if you have that it seems that you would be more happy being married than being single without those benefits.
1 person likes this
@mikeyr6000le (2123)
• United States
9 May 08
You most cerainly can be happy and be single. All of my friends have been divorced or getting divorced at least once, and I have never been married. I feel I am more happy then most of them in this sence. As for having kids there is nothing stopping a single person from having a child if they really want one. I do get a little lonely sometimes but then I usually just go do something and it it's gone. My married friends can't do that, they have someone else they have to think about.
2 people like this
@scribe1 (1203)
• United States
8 May 08
Of course not! I'm also single. Never married. Never cared to, although back in college, I admired one or two guys from afar. Looking at their pictures in an alumni magazine after all these years and seeing how they look, balding and all, makes me glad that I never got involved. I tend to be a free spirit anyway, who knows that some married people are really trapped in their marriages and are very unhappy. That's why they envy single people and want to make them miserable as well. I'm very happy with my decision to stay single --- I can do what I want, how I want, when and where I want without having to worry about a husband and HIS family or what they will think.
2 people like this
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
9 May 08
Well said! I really love this response. I remember the guy I had a crush on once. He looked so good then, but now he is so fat and ugly. And there are rumors that he married an ugly woman older than himself for her money. I am happy now that I did not get involved with him. :)
1 person likes this
@paid2write (5201)
•
9 May 08
I have had the same experience as you of feeling lonely when married and being happily single again. I totally agree with you. If I had stayed married I would have missed out on so much that has happened in my life.
I do have some good memories of when I was married and have had bad experiences since, but I am never tired of living alone and never feel lonely.
I never had children, and I don't feel I have missed out by not having them.
2 people like this
@borneocraft (88)
• Indonesia
9 May 08
i am asking this question to myself ..... i guess the answer depends the personal
@subha12 (18441)
• India
9 May 08
it is very nice discussion. i appreciate the way you can think about the issue. Actually it has become the common thing in society to expect aperson to be married after certain days. they always try to prove that getting married is the ultimate goal in life. i am happy as single. people do not think what peopel miss being married also.
@AshleyHasan (1024)
• India
9 May 08
No, I dont think so, no need to get married to be happy. If you are getting right partner in your life then marriage becomes success if not your life becomes miserable. Being single you can live the life which you wanted , once you get married you have to compromise for many things in life, until unless your partner is very understanding and caring. In my case I am happy beign married...
2 people like this
@danzer (2723)
• Philippines
8 May 08
No. A person does not need to be married to be happy. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of married people who are unhappy, and there are many single individuals who are happy, like you! It's just a matter of choice. You can be married and happy, or you can be single and happy. I don't think people should put down others who are single. But I think let them enjoy their single-blessedness if that's the will of God for them.
1 person likes this
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
8 May 08
You are absolutely right; this is exactly what I believe myself. :) Both the states of being single and married have their pluses and minuses.
Cheers!
1 person likes this
@nilanym (184)
• Philippines
9 May 08
yeah! me too, i agree with it. me as a married person there are times for being happy and sometimes being sad as well as when i was single. its a matter of being alive. either married or single, there are situations as ups and downs (i mean spices in life). but all i can say is, all people married or single are looking for a goal for extreme satisfaction, that is happiness.
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
9 May 08
I guess that the answer to that depends on your personal make up. And of couse, whether you have found the right person to be married to!
I would always prefer to be single than unhappily married, but I think that given the option of being happy either way then I'd go with married (or at least together, even if not legally so!). If you're married to the right person you can have most of the benefits of being single and still have companionship at home.
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
12 May 08
I dont think you need to be married to be happy. But you dont need to be single to be happy either. You need to do what makes you happy. There are people who are married and those that are single that are very unhappy with things.
I'm happy as i am right now but its not the fact that i'm single or not single that makes me happy..its my family, my friends, my job, my hobbies that make me happy.
Things that make me unhappy are the stressors..things people do to make me mad...things that go wrong. Overall without being married..i'm happy..but id be thrilled if my boyfriend asked me to marry him.
1 person likes this
@ajaygupta (168)
• India
12 May 08
getting married can make u happy is not completely true. as even u think that u were happier prior marriage.
here in India most of people get married with out their own wishes, on complete will of parents and sometimes get to have a wrong or undeserved partner. Even in marriages with ur complete choice or will has proved to be failure because of differences in approach of life. " It is the right tuning with ur partner that makes u happily married not simply marrying can make u happy".
1 person likes this
@thebeaddoodler (4262)
• Lubbock, Texas
9 May 08
As one who was married to the "wrong man" for 20 years, I will definitely say I'm happier being single. People have been asking me for nearly 30 years, do you thing you'll EVER find anyone to marry? I just reply, you don't usually find something if you're not looking for it.
My marriage didn't turn out the way I planned it. We were supposed to be happy ever after. We weren't. No matter how hard I tried, he wasn't happy being married to me, but he expected me to be happy being married to him. Not enough things in common. I made the mistake of staying together "for the kids". Never again.
LOL If I find a man who is perfect and is ok with the fact that I'm not, maybe I'll be happy with someone. Until then I'll just be happy single!
1 person likes this
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
9 May 08
That's a lovely response. I really enjoyed reading it. Cheers and thanks!
1 person likes this
@isikopeacejohn (109)
• Uganda
11 May 08
No, in fact, if you marry when you'ren't happy then it'll be hard for you to find happiness in marriage... and, even though you become happy after marriege, it may be but for a short time...
@desertdarlene (8910)
• United States
8 May 08
I've been single all of my life and I don't feel like I miss out on anything. This is actually one of my biggest pet peeves about people, those that insist you are "missing out" if you don't do what they think you should do. I mean, how do they know that I'm missing out? Have they tried to be me and live my life? I mean, we're are all different here and what's fun for one person might not be fun for me or vice versa.
1 person likes this
@jimbelle (485)
• Philippines
9 May 08
I would say it depends. Many singles are happy in their state. But I feel being married makes one happier because you have somebody to share your life with, and having children is a big bonus. Children make our life complete. In the same way- many married persons are miserable because husband and wife do not get along well.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
8 May 08
Hi positiveminded, I would think that it depends on the person. I'm quite sure that there are many happy single people out there. I was married for 28 years when my wife passed away suddenly. I was single for the next three years, not even dating. When I met the lady who is now my wife, I knew that I wanted to marry again. I am happier married then single, but that is me and doesn't necessarily apply to everyone. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
8 May 08
Absolutely not! Sure marriage can be a wonderful thing when the parties are in sync and compliment each other. It can also be a living H@!! when they don't get along! I think happiness has to come from within oneself. A person needs to be happy with themselves in order to make anyone else happy. Marital status is not the cause of happiness. Have a wonderful and happy day!
@triptadasgupta (900)
• India
11 May 08
well friend i agree with you and personally feel that it is 100 times better being a single than being a married person.Yes there is one thing a single person might miss out and that is children but there are many ways that a person can satisfy this urge of motherhood.so i feel that being single is much more better than being married.
have a nice day friend.........
1 person likes this
