Have you ever been frustrated withyour Spouse?

@Ljorge (1497)
United States
November 2, 2006 12:36am CST
i mean sooo Frustrated that you could scream !!?? Right now i am ! I have already put a whole through a few boards at work when no one was looking. I just want to know if anyone else has gone through this and what have you done to come to an agreement. Don't have to give me details. I just don;t know what to do and strapped for ideas.
3 people like this
33 responses
@Mommamea (1215)
• United States
2 Nov 06
It is frightening to come to this sort of delima I would assume. I have become frustrated and angry but never to a violant stage. You should seek the advice of a proffesional so you can give more details and maybe invite her along so you could discuss your problem and have a mediator so listen to both side and help you come to a compromise. Alwasy remeber yelling and screaming is a defense mechanism for both parties involved.
@Mommamea (1215)
• United States
2 Nov 06
Have you asked her what makes her do this thing she does? Is there something in her life that she is afraid of? Ask her what you can do to help her not to do this thing around you? Ask her how you can help her to do this less or talk with her about it so you can understand why she does this.
2 people like this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
yes i have sat down and talked to her, and it's one of those situations where she is talking, but isn't saying anything. According to her she is afraid of going to hell. i told her that the church she has just going to isn't the only way, i told her that we can go to the church we were already going to. I mean since when is one church or any church for that matter a guaranteed to way to go to heaven. She is 23 yrs old, why is she soo worried and hellbent on going to heaven now? i mean of all things she should be more worried about starting a family with me and more worried about her job and stuff. I don;t know. it just seems like she is basicly being brain washed by this other church and our so called freinds. like i said i am just my wits end.
• United States
2 Nov 06
i understand and broke it off with my now husband. we separated for six months he now is soo in love with me i can tell. maybe you two need a break and mybe seh needs to realize what she is missing out on if she can't do something to help you be happy in the relationship too.
2 people like this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thank you for your reply i really apprecciate it.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 06
your welcome but always know that not everything will be perfect. take a break and you know what let her get angry and upset that you want a break..i broke up with my hubby and i was upset cause we were broken up lol if anything if its not what you want to do then get out more and also "someone who doesnt listen doesnt really hear do they?" kara
2 people like this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
yah i agree on that last sentence. as for taking a break, i don;t think i could ever bring myself to do that only because we rarely have disagreements like this. we usually agree with everything! Except on this one small thing.
• United States
8 Nov 06
Oh, I think it's safe to say that you aren't alone! I was so aggravated with my spouse today that I actually kicked him in the shin! LOL...done with love, of course!
2 people like this
• United States
8 Nov 06
love hurts sometimes hehe. but its love that gets us thru it all.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
13 Nov 06
lol ouch !! thanx for posting !
• United States
2 Nov 06
you should leave for a while go to a buddys house or go do something that u really love to do. i hope this work for you.
2 people like this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thanx i apprecciate your response.
1 person likes this
@saumya69 (382)
• India
2 Nov 06
not till now....
2 people like this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
i am so sorry to hear that.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 06
Yeh Ihave been feeling that way he has been grouchy
2 people like this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
i am sorry to hear that. i hope you guys can work something out together.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 06
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe you and your wife should sit down and try discussing both religions and try to see what she finds to be so interesting about that new found religion "your friends" got her into. Also remind her that if your "friends" didn't talk to you guys for a few months or whatever and now are all of a sudden come back and want to hang out all the time there maybe something fishy going on there. You also said that you felt that they were "rubbing you the wrong way". Maybe you should follow your gut feeling. My personal advice would be to be very careful with those "friends". Ten mucho cudado con ellos que siento tranpas. Any questions about my comment e-mail me back. You will work it out, I know you will it's gonna take time.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
8 Nov 06
thanx for your reply ! and i am feeling you on that last statement ! Ya lo tengo en mano. Its been taken care of, and i was feeling the same thing which is the main reason why i was apposed to it the whole time. thanx again !
• United States
10 Nov 06
Anytime. =0)
• United States
10 Nov 06
Anytime. =0)
@tsmeesa98 (576)
• United States
2 Nov 06
Depends on what the argument is about. If it's politics or something that doesn't actually affect your daily life then you both have to respect the other's opinion but you have to learn that you don't have to agree on everything. On the other hand if it is something that does affect you then you have to discuss it like adults with no mean comments. There may not be a definate right or wrong with the question in which case you have to work together to find something that works for you. Like if she wants to work and you want her to stay at home maybe you could come to the compromise that she works part time instead of full time. Or if one of you wants kids right away and the other doesn't maybe you could make the agreement that you will wait 2 years (just a random number) and then you will definately try.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thank you soo much for your reply. The funny thing is we agree on politics, the problem now is religian. ahile ago she told me she wanted to go to shurch, i said ok fine we can go to church and we started attending the church my mm was going to. Now keep in mind that we have some so called "freinds" who we haven;t heard from in months. Now all of a sudden they are hanging out with us and stuff again. And these "freinds" decided to join some church that apparently has no name. they tried to get me to go to it, i said no thank you. then they went behind my back started putting ideas in my wifes head that their newfound religian is the only one that will make her go to heaven and all this noise. Now keep in mind that i have nothing against ppl who go to church and stuff. But listening to these freinds "preach" is like taking BBQ tips from porky pig. and on top of this all something about their new gfound religian really really rubs me the wrong way, so what the fight boils down do is, i asked her not to go and give my reasons but she doesn't realize that the same way our " freinds" personality has completly change for the worst she will eventually. Me personally i could give a @#$@ about them, the only persona i care about is my wife but she doesn;t listen. And to make matters worse, my "freinds " GF has actually sent my wife text messages putting me and the one holding her back from eternal salvation. So what my disagreement with her comes down to is go to where those two A-holes are going instead of going back to where we were going originally. =O(
1 person likes this
@busybea (930)
• United States
3 Nov 06
Lgorge, what religion was your wife brought up into and what are your "friends" trying to pull her into. You can send me a personal message if you don't really want to discuss it further, but what I know is the journey of a person who is genuinely seeking God and the people who try to lead them onto the wrong paths. If your wife was brought up in Christianity and hasn't really firmly planted her feet in any religion, as many in America have become, you may have to break out the Bible, Lgorge. You may have to debate what she knows in her heart and what her "friends" are trying to sell her. You may have to begin to read the Bible with her, to her and for her to show her the strength in your beliefs that your "friends" are showing in theirs. You may have to begin praying with her, because I would bet they are, and you may have to fight for her, spiritually, lovingly. The battle of religion is a large one that cannot be won with just some simple words. That is why the Biblical cities have been fighting for so very long about them. Religion is, for most of us, the very place we lay our hearts, even when we don't realize it. It is our foundation, our belief system, our souls are actually invested in it, even though we don't use it every day, it is what has shown us right from wrong every day of our lives. It's a battle, but not one that cannot be won. "We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish." (heb 12:2) Well, I'll be praying for the two of you.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
3 Nov 06
Thank you soo much ! I need all the blessings i can get. !
• India
8 Nov 06
ya sometimes she wont let me accept for foursme
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
8 Nov 06
4some ? hmm, is that is what i think that is, How did you pull that off??
• United States
8 Nov 06
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe you and your wife should sit down and try discussing both religions and try to see what she finds to be so interesting about that new found religion "your friends" got her into. Also remind her that if your "friends" didn't talk to you guys for a few months or whatever and now are all of a sudden come back and want to hang out all the time there maybe something fishy going on there. You also said that you felt that they were "rubbing you the wrong way". Maybe you should follow your gut feeling. My personal advice would be to be very careful with those "friends". Ten mucho cudado con ellos que siento tranpas. Any questions about my comment e-mail me back. You will work it out, I know you will it's gonna take time.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 06
sorry about dble post my computer acted CrAZy.
1 person likes this
@busybea (930)
• United States
3 Nov 06
Not too often, mostly just every single day!! My hubby and I are complete opposites and we do butt heads, but as long as he knows I'm right at the end of it all, we work things out just fine! ;~))
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
8 Nov 06
LOL ummm, ok ! lol
@sbeauty (5870)
• United States
2 Nov 06
Yes, it's natural to feel that way sometimes. And, you're getting rid of your frustration the right way in pounding on boards instead of your spouse.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thanx for your reply. But i would never ever hit a woman, i am completly against that. =O)
• India
2 Nov 06
sorry i am not married
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thanx
@ivanavic (23)
• Uganda
2 Nov 06
i am sorry for that, but trust me your not alone, actually we all do get mad with our spouses, you cant avoid it coz we all are humans, and we do or say some things that of course your spouse may not like, and when your in love we tend to get more vulnarable thus getting tipped off easily.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
i totally agree ! thank you for your response.
@april444 (1341)
• United States
2 Nov 06
Yeah all the time ,but puttin holes threw things or breakin things shows you have some anger issues, if you go to a counsler hopefully they can help you both work at your issues.
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
normaly i don't get this angry. and if iam putting wholes through things it because iam totally beyond words. I am usually very calm and quiet.
• United States
2 Nov 06
Im forever throughing my phone. I dont really know, you pretty much just have to sit down and talk about it. theres no way you can over come it if you dont! Even as much as you dont want to cause you know your going to fight, it will be very ugly if you dont!
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thank you for your reply.
@jhannon (1410)
• United States
2 Nov 06
I have but love can move mountains if youhave love you can work through it to get back to where u used to be..Realtionships are a balance of holding on and letting go.Youc an fix all things with compromise and not letting lil things get too big..
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thanx so much for you kind words. as of right now we have both tried to come up with a comprimise but the one she wants to do only benefits her. and she says that if she comprimises she will be giving on everything she has been fighting with me about for the past 3 days. Funny thing is that if i do what she suggest as a comprimise it would completely defeat the purpose of what i am suggesting.
@dips67 (80)
• India
2 Nov 06
that 'sthe reason iam on mylot ,to forget my frustrations and to have some good time. go and do what you like the best . and remember nothing stays forever!
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thanx for replying.
• China
3 Nov 06
In order to small matter quarrel Sometimes the person very isbothersome...
1 person likes this
@achilles7 (1277)
• India
2 Nov 06
I am very much sad of your situation. So far I hadn't a single chance to get angry with my spouse.We dicuss and plan out things and we are very good friends.It is now 23 years since we are married and we live in peace and harmony.I thank the almighty God for His grace.
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
2 Nov 06
thank you very much for your response. i apprecciate it. andi wish you luck with your marriage.
2 Nov 06
Constantly argue over kids, money (her spending of it !) The more i make, the more she spends !
1 person likes this
@Ljorge (1497)
• United States
8 Nov 06
lol i know how you feel on that one ! i feel like i have to try and keep everything in check 99% of the time. and it does seem like when we have an extra penny or two, i turn around and it's gone ! lol