when is it okay to have an abortion?

United States
November 2, 2006 1:03am CST
i know of this one gurl who got raped while she was drunk...is it okay for her to get an abortion...or is it her fault for drinking too much....????
9 people like this
22 responses
@Karinne (1223)
• Australia
4 Nov 06
Hi there mahlyssah2002. firstly no it wasn't your friends fault by getting too drunk. It's never ok to rape someone. I feel for your friend and that baby she is carrying. I believe in these circumstances it is acceptable to have an abortion. But maybe if she is strong enough have the baby and adopt him/her out. The baby will be given to a loving family who cannot conceive a child of their own.
• United States
4 Nov 06
she is going to raise this child as her own...w/o tha daddy....she is a very strong person with a srong belief in god.... hopefully she pulls through it jus fine
1 person likes this
@ladylety (344)
• United States
4 Nov 06
Good response
4 Nov 06
Is it only ok if the baby is a risk to the parent then a termination can be the only good option.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Nov 06
If she takes the Morning After Pill after she has been raped, fine. Other than that, she is going to have to have that baby and take care of it.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Nov 06
good point
2 people like this
• United States
12 Oct 07
Wow, you women are so defensive. I said it was her choice, did I not make that clear? Wow, why are you all ganging up on me for? Maybe I should have made myself very clear on the first post, or reworded my words. I know am I not always the best at getting all of my thoughts out on the table. I am Agnostic, and I am for a woman's right to choose, heck, I have helped NOW out a for quite a few things, but for crying out loud, take some responsibility for things that happen in your life. I do. I had a lot of horrible things happen to be in my life, I had a guy take advantage of me once, and I admit that a lot of that was my fault, I ADMIT IT! I don't dare make up excuses, I made a mistake, and I am making up for it, and I did not get pregnant from that first time or get an STD. I got tested and every thing, and I came out perfectly clean. I admit, I take responsibilty, for what has happened to me. You ladies can gang up on me and throw stones at me all you want, but know this, I do personally know victims of rape and I know women who have had men in their lives who treated them like dirt, we know what it is like, and we do not make up excuses. We got help, we learned from our mistakes and theirs, and got educated. A friend of my mother's did have an abortion because she was raped by her uncle when she was a teenager, we did not judge her, we simply said that we love and support her. She did blame her uncle and so did we, but she blamed herself and her family for not being better educated about rape.
• United States
12 Oct 07
Okay, I respect that. I was not raped, he just talked me into something that I was not ready for, and like the gullible idiot that I was back then, I listened and believed is bs. I did not mean for my words to come out harsh, and again, if a woman wants to have an abortion it is her right and her choice. The reason I blame myself for certain things is because I wish that I was smarter, and I wish that I he and I had never been together. I am in love with a man now, and I am confronted with the ghost of my past almost every day, and I wish, oh how I wish, that I could take back that night, or how I wish that I had known better. The man I am in love with is a great guy, and I do not ever want to hurt him, but I am so scared sometimes, that if I tell him what happened, he may not love me anymore, my mother says that if he truly loves me, he will not care about that. Nearly everyday I live with that awful memory, I do blame myself for not knowing better, and not being prepared, for letting my guard down. Before it had happened to me, I was so guarded and to myself. I covered up all the time, and I never let anyone touch me. I read my comics, spent time with my nerdy/geeky friends, and I sang and danced on the side. It was not until I got into college that that all changed for me. I was in an accident, my car got hit with a ton of oil and I lost control of my car, I thought I was going to die, but luckily, I had a guardian angel or someone looking out for me. That same week, I went to a party with some "friends", I thought they would stick up for me, and be there for me, but they weren't, they duped me. So, I met this guy at the party, he seemed nice at first, but when we got back to his place, he began kissing me, and one thing led to another, and I wanted to say "no", but the words would not come out. My step-father found us, and he nearly killed the guy I was with. The guy I was with wanted to control me, and I nearly let him, and I asked myself, "Why? Why did it happen? Why did I let him? What was wrong with me?" I went to therapy and got help for it, but man, I still cannot help feeling guilty and blaming myself for it happening.
1 person likes this
@gelonie (34)
• Philippines
4 Nov 06
its her fault... she should preserve the life within her... its not the fault of the baby...
• United States
4 Nov 06
she was raped!
• Canada
4 Nov 06
Oh PLEASE. How can she be at fault?? Rape is NOT the victim's fault. EVER. Drunk or not. I dunno about any of you, but if I was raped, I'd be runnin to the doc to get the morning after pill. I do believe it's the mother's right to get an abortion, so I'm not against it. And I'm not religious by any means so I don't buy into the whole "abortion is a sin" crap. If someone is raped, which is against their will, and a baby is conceived..why should the mother have to carry it?? If the choice is out there, she should use it. End of story.
1 person likes this
@linkpointe (1003)
• Philippines
4 Nov 06
I'm proud to have you MOM! - I'm proud to have you MOM!
It is not OKAY at all to commit an abortion. There are many other solution in your problem. Why commit a crime that will haunt you a lifetime? Don't you want a peaceful life? Kep up the baby with you. He won't give you such situation if you can't handle it very well. I know your child will be proud of you someday that you save her from such crime. Don't think that way! Pray...Seek help...don't lose hope...every problem has its solution for the BEST. Dwell on the positive side. Don't let the devil eats you up this early.
• United States
4 Nov 06
:) thanx ill be sure to let my friend know this
1 person likes this
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
12 Oct 07
"It is not OKAY at all to commit an abortion." It's not at all OK for any one to think they have the right to tell other adults what to do with their bodies & their lives. "There are many other solution in your problem." There may very well be, but if this is the solution a woman chooses, it's her right. "Why commit a crime that will haunt you a lifetime?" Terminating a pregnancy is not a crime in my country, thank God. Ending a pregnancy conceived during a rape would not haunt me for one mili-second. I will have no part in furthering the DNA of some sub-human animal who brutalizes women. Nor will I explain to my children that mom is going to have a baby & give it away to a nice, infertile couple to raise but don't worry I don't plan on giving you away. "Don't you want a peaceful life?" I have a peaceful life. If I were raped, the rape would be what altered my peaceful life, not the abortion. "Kep up the baby with you." No thank you. "He won't give you such situation if you can't handle it very well." I'm not at all sure what this statement means. "I know your child will be proud of you someday that you save her from such crime. Don't think that way! Pray...Seek help...don't lose hope...every problem has its solution for the BEST. Dwell on the positive side. Don't let the devil eats you up this early." The best solution for me in that situation would be terminating. I'm not sure what you mean by the devil eating you up this early- I'm not a child. I'm an adult, fully capable of making decisions & choices for myself. Neither the devil nor God need to live my life, and neither get a vote in what I do with my body. If either exist and either have an issue with my choices, I'll debate it with them when that time comes. In the meantime no woman should have to justify or validate her choices to others.
@ladylety (344)
• United States
4 Nov 06
I don't believe in abortion regardless but Rape is such a traumatic thing to go through as it is, having a baby as a result of it I think would be very hard. I do have a close friend who was raped and got pregnant. She did have the baby and...he is her joy and the meaning in her life. She adores this child and says she can't imagine what her life would have been like without him. I guess there is always something good that can come out of the painful situations. It just depends on inner strength,faith and how you see things.
• United States
4 Nov 06
thats what i think too
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
5 Nov 06
I agree with that. I don't think it should make a difference how the child is concieved, even if a woman is raped, the child is still hers. She shuold love it because it is hers, not disregard it because of the way it was concieved.
@pondlife (468)
5 Nov 06
Oh gawd, it's never her fault. I just think it's down to the individual. I just hope she never regrets having it done.
• United States
5 Nov 06
THATS WHAT SHE IS AFRAID OF ...THE REGRETS
@SimplyMe (373)
• United States
5 Nov 06
What a terrible decision to have to make. In general, I am not for abortion, but rape, incest, and endangering the mother's life could all be acceptable reasons for having one. One must decide carefully and with guidance from family and spiritual guidance too.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 06
I AGREE
@denax1 (708)
• United States
4 Nov 06
An abortion is the decision of the woman getting it. I don't believe anyone else has the right to tell another woman when it's ok and when it's not.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Nov 06
OKAY THEN
@Trook1233 (196)
4 Nov 06
you are right, it is never the babies fault, but what are you going to tell that child when he/she asks where their daddy is. How do you think a child will feel knowing that they are the product of a rape. It is true that you could lie and tell the child something, but that isnt fair to either of them. Plus you would have to keep that secret their whole life and what if they found out? As far as it being her fault....I don't think that it is ever anybodys fault with something that horrible happens. But maybe next time she goes drinking, she should bring a friend with her, so they can help look out for each other.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Nov 06
u could be right....but....... hmmm....
@phgonline (630)
• United States
2 Nov 06
Well I think it is her decision to have it or not since it is her body, I know some will disagree because they will see it as murder.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 06
yes...i believe its never the babies fault....so ...
• United States
15 Oct 07
I simply cannot believe that anyone could honestly blame a woman for being raped. That's sick. And the majority of the replies to this are absolutely ridiculous. Sometimes I truly wish the world of "Children of Men" would become reality.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Oct 07
It is never the victims fault when a rape occurs. Never. I don't care how drunk she was, how she dressed, or if she came onto the guy sixty times and then said no later. If the victim says no, that means no. As to her having an abortion. She has to consider all her thoughts and feelings on the situation and then allow herself to choose. Either decision will be very difficult for her. Early on it'll seem easy enough, but later in life she might wonder what might have come had she kept the life growing inside her. On the other hand, later in life she might look at that child everyday and see the man that violated her and ruined her life. If she chose to abort I certainly wouldn't hold it against her.
1 person likes this
@soldenski (2504)
• United States
14 Jan 07
When a person (male or female) get raped, it is never there fault, they are victim's regardless if they were drunk or were wearing a short skirt or something like that. If I was in her position, there is no question about it, I would have an abortion. That is my right and my opinion, I know someone will disagree with me, but that's ok.
1 person likes this
@adonica (439)
• United States
4 Nov 06
First I would like to say that it is never the victim's fault for being raped. I think pregnancy caused by a rape is a very touchy subject and feel that rape is the one of the few circumstances that abortion is ok.
1 person likes this
@5cakids (25)
• United States
4 Nov 06
I dont thik abortion is the cure, if she does not want to keep the baby then adoption would be great option for her. I dont agree with abortion at all really. God spent a lot of time creting that life and noone has the right to destroy it.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Nov 06
tough call, but I'd have to agree with the adoption idea from a moral standpoint. Give the kid a chance and help a wanting couple have a family
1 person likes this
@kunalvijan (3418)
• India
4 Jan 07
its girl fault only that she drunked too much
• United States
4 Jan 07
??????
1 person likes this
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Really? So if I come across a drunk Brad Pitt look-a-like at my local pub, I can just knock him to the ground & do what I like with him? Do you think lots of good, self-respecting, normal men go around looking for drunk women to brutalize?
@pumpkinjam (6879)
• United Kingdom
5 Nov 06
It's never your own fault if you get raped. But can you be sure it was rape if she was drunk and therefore might not recall the events? I guess some people would see that it's ok to kill the child but to me, that child is still a person and shouldn't be denied life because of someone elses crime. If one of your parents did something wrong, you wouldn't expect anyone to punish you for it so why do people think it's ok to punish a baby for what someone else has done?
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
12 Oct 07
If she's unable to recall the events, she was in no way capable of consenting to them. Any self-respecting man would recognize that & choose not to continue if he weren't sure the woman was consenting to the act.
• United Kingdom
14 Oct 07
In a way I want to agree with you but sadly there are women (and men) who consent at the time and then do not recall events. Maybe she was in no state to consent but I know there are plenty of people who do things like that while drunk and also sadly there are plenty of people who will take advantage of the situation and probably pay no attention to the state of the other person, ie. whether they are drunk or not.
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5141)
• Philippines
13 Oct 07
Both parties got a mistake. The girl for drinking too much. And for the man who raped her. But the baby that was formed should not suffer also. He or she has nothing to do with the mistakes of his or her parents. He or she has the right to live and see the world as it is. Why kill an innocent baby? He or she is still pure of sins.
@eden32 (3976)
• United States
13 Oct 07
Assuming the woman in question is of legal drinking age, she can get as rip roaring drunk as she chooses, and still expect to be treated as a human by other humans. She shouldn't drive or make major decisions in that condition, but just being in that condition doesn't mean she loses the rights & respect anyone should have. What in h*ll is wrong with some men that they think a drunk women is an excuse for inexcusable actions? What sort of man would see some one who's incapable of enjoying or participating in the act as enjoyable to them? A pregnancy in the early stages is not a 'baby'. The pregnant woman is not a "mother", and the rapist beast is certainly not a "father". If a woman decides that she does not want to carry a pregnancy that was forced upon her by some heinous crime, that's well within her rights.