I have lost my friends because of my partner.....

I understand what you are saying....my husband's the same...though he doesn't really act arrogant and rude. But he's made it clear that he's not going to make an effort when my friends are around. I took him to a friend's place once and after that experience I have never visited anyone and don't invite them home either. I do talk to them on the phone. Neither does my husband take me along when he goes to meet his friends. But he does invite them home and I'm very friendly with them when they come home (unlike him). I also talk to his friends nicely if I am the one picking up the phone when they call. But he doesn't social too much with his friends either....just likes to talk and is more comfortable with his friends than mine. If I really need to meet my friends...I do it alone now.

you deserve better than that, you shouldn't stay away from your friends cause of a partner, they are your friends,friends will always gonna be there for you,and you talking about it's cause of your kids that you are still have the patience to stay on that unhealthy relationship, don't you think it would be worst for the kid to grow up in that kind of abusive life,why don't you find someone that's gonna respect you and your kids, i wouldn't stay in that kind of relationship, you worth more than that, please be careful in the choice that you make, i hope it's not too late when you finally realize that he don't deserve you

You definitely need to take a stand on this. If you truly want to remain with this man, then at least be strong enough to stand up and say "I'm going to be with my friend whether you like it or not". I think there's no issue at all with hanging with your friends or even attending gatherings without him if he's truly not desired there by your friends. Don't lose friendships over a man, it's simply not worth it.

that is very sad daniellegldn, I guess you deserve better than that! but, if you really want to save your marriage, have you tried talking to him? what bothers him and what made him do that? if ever things will not change, why not leaving him. I am so sorry for this but I guess life is too short for you not to enjoy it! I hope you will still find time to meet your friends so that in spite of that situation, you have your outlet!

This is a very sad state of affairs which you would need to act upon if you wish anything different as he won't do anything about it. Your partner is a controller and the only way he can control you is by ignoring your friends and treating them discourteously so that they will stay away from you. That is the strongest form of emotional abuse. Controllers do not like their partners to have outside contacts, not even their relatives, as it lessens their power. They tend to be lacking in social skills, are rather boorish to others and do just what they please, without thinking of the effect on their partners or the other person. The only people they care about are themselves. Your partner also sounds very insecure and seems to fear the effect your friends would have on you. So by behaving badly to them, he immediately lessens their influence and keeps you to himself to make you dependent on hi and to restrict your activities. Sadly, the answer is entirely up to you, as your partner will never change. You have allowed him to do what he pleases for so long, you have lost out completely. He has got the results he wanted because you are now increasingly isolated, which is precisely what he planned. So you have to now decide if that is the type and quality of life you wish to lead. One of the top five factors for keeping us alive longest is our social interactions and the friends we have. In fact, it is No.3 on the list, a vital ingredient of the quality of our lives. If you ignore your friends, or gradually have no friends, it will begin to cause stress for you which you might not even be aware of. Not only that, it totally limits your life experience. Once you make your decision on the kind of life you really want, then act upon it. If you decide your friends are important, then you must see them, with or without your partner. It is very important to get on with your life in your own way as a unique human being for your own personal development. If you have to change yourself and your basic needs to please another person, he would be the wrong person for you. Those who love you will accept who you are, as you are and, most important, the things and people you value and cherish. They will encourage you in what your efforts, not try to limit your world and life. Please do something soon before you find yourself completely at your partner's mercy because that is when physical abuse begins: when people lack support and friendship and become completely dependent on their partner for interaction. That is no way to live. It would merely deprive you of essential stimulus and keep you living in fear. Start by getting a couple of key friends on your side who could give you emotional support. Start seeing them at least once a week for coffee, drinks or whatever, to get you away from your partner. Gradually you will build your courage to do whatever you think is right for your long term relationship or your future. Good luck in whatever you have to do.

I used to have a friend(?) like that. Good riddens! He could never keep a job either. cause before a year had passed he excelled far above the company owner. He never had his own friends either. Not any that lasted more than a couple months. Guess they figured him out before i did.

I have personally lost far too many friends, not even some of my family members are comfortable in my house-i know what you mean

WOW! I dont know what I would do if my husband acted like that. Well, actually yeah I do...he probably wouldnt be my husband. LOL Ive lost a lot of my friends since me and my husband have been together to. But most of my friends are single and dont have kids like I do. I dont know if I was single and and didnt have kids if I would want to hang out with someone who had kids atleast. I was never a real kid person before I had my own. So i guess I dont really blame them. I would say try to get away from him every once in awhile. It might be good for you and him as well. MY husband knows that I am with the kids 24/7 and we spend every minute he is home together. We only have one vehicle so its difficult for me to leave unless he is home. SO once a month he does let me go out with my friends, have a girls day out. I get to leave if I want to at any time. But he does let me have the girls day out.

Now that you've realized that it's all your fault then maybe you still the chance to make things right for you. Maybe it's a wake-up call for you to make things right for your life. Being with him does not help you to become a better person anymore and maybe you're right in separating with him as the situation is so difficult for you to grow as a social person. You've isolated yourself for so long already and now is your time to take it back for yourself. The question is can you live without him around your life?

why would you want to stay with a man who will not be decent to your friends as he must then be controlling and that is the first step to mate abuse. Cruel and immature does not sound like a person one would want to live with for the rest of her life. Tell him to grow up or take a hike as you have a right to friends and so does he. he sounds like a spoiled child.Drinking does not help either.You cannot be everything for him nor him for you. normal people do need friends tell him that. what do you mean he is not normally that way,you are making escuses for him and that 'shows he does this a lot. I hope you can talk to him.

I think that you should have done something earlier, he seems to have been walking all over you, but at least now you have realised. I think that your relationship might be failing as you are unhappy, go out with your friends, have a good time without him and it will make the time you spend together all the more special. Hope that you's get through it.

Who was there first in your life? Your friends or your partner? I have had a best friend for 35 years now, and when we were young we made a pact with each other ways that NO Man would ever come between us. And for 35 years we have both lived up to it. We are the ones who are always there for each other, and when times are tough and the relationship is not going right, who do we turn too? I say tell him he needs to become a better person and treat friends with respect, or hit the road! Remember, After he is long gone, your friends will always be there for you!

Not sure what his reasoning behind this is, there could be hundreds of different reasons, but it doesn't really matter why. I would make it a point to reconnect with your friends. Even if you just go out to coffee or meet at the grocery store to do your regular shopping, I think it is important to see other people other than your partner(and his friends). If he is particularly rude to them if you invite them over, I would not have them in the house, meet them elsewhere. I would however, be prepared for them to ask and/or tell you that you have put yourself into an awkward position. It also sounds like he has a drinking problem based on your description. If he can't drink without getting rude and insulting people when they are around, that is a clear sign that something is wrong.

I would say a good place to start would be get off the computer and talk to him about it...is he aware of his behavior? if he behaves this way consistantly, and you have talked to him about it...maybe he needs counseling for his hostility/jealousy towards your friends. if he loves you and your children, he will take measures to improve himself. if he isn't aware of the problem, you've got communication skills to work on.

i'm so sad to hear that you lose your friends because of your partner... i am sorry to say but all i can say that yes... it is your fault... you choose to stay with him besides of all his selfish and immature attitudes which i don't understand why... have you ever try to talk to him and express your feelings to him??? you can't just let things going on like this anymore if you are planning to live with him forever... you are the one who is at the losing end... good luck, take care and have a nice day...

I know that it can be tough, but maybe you should talk to him about it. See if he is okay with you going to visit friends without him, and see if we will indulge you once in a while with a trip out or a small gathering at your home. Letting him know how you feel in this is key - that's important in every relationship. You have to be happy together and individually, and it doesn't sound like you are...

Hello there, is it worth living with a guy who is rude and immature in the rest of your life? I am quite surprise you can put up with him for the past 5 years. I believe you love each other, but your BF’s behaviour is even unhealthy for your future children. So you really have to make up your mind what is more important in your life? Your family, friends or your BF only? Obviously, you should talk to him and see if he can make an effort to change his manner and attitude. It is about time to. All the best!

Well i would bet you would be much happier without that side of him. mabey he is a really good guy inside. just not out in the world. id try to give him an ulimatum, either you learn to respect my friends. or be conciderate of others when we are out. or we are no longer. see if that works if not. then really theres nothing else to do. your just ganna be misrable without and outside life. i feel for you i do. I know somoene just like you. its okay.

i feel for you. it sounds like he is very controlling and selfish and jealous. he has achieved exactly what he wanted and that was for you to have no friends and no social outlet so you would have to stay at home and be miserable right along side him. i would find a way out of this very destructive and dysfunctional relationship ASAP. if that is not doable for whatever reasons i would see my friends when he is not around and start making a life for yourself away from him. good luck to you.

Problem one is he's been drinking, two,whether he drinks or not he's rude,arrogant and unfriendly. So, why the heck are you blaming yourself if your relationship is now falling apart? And blame yourself that you have no other friends? It's the other way around..It's because of your husband's attitude that's why your friends doesn't invite you. The reason is clear. As much as they want you to be at the party,well,they don't want him. Your friends knew that you would just be embarrassed by your husband's actions and humiliated infront of other people. And your friends doesn't want you to be hurt. They're also not coming to your house anymore for the same reasons. But then, in my point of view, friends are suppose to help one another most specially if one is going thru a trial like yours. My friends are always there to give me moral support and advices. Try to reconnect with your friends and don't be shy to seek advice. If they are truly your friends, hey would be glad to be with you again and help you get through this. My ex was like that, by the way. So, I can relate to your problem.. Finally, please don't blame yourself. you have a child and he needs you more. You need to gather yourself together and think of ways that can help your husband change his ways..