real men are not scared to show their feelings...

I think that men that show their true emotions are the most attractive men. I think that they are the strongest men as well, because it takes a lot to show emotions.

I dont know why some men are so afraid to show emotions,I think it has something to do with in older times men had to be strong,but now they shouldnt be afraid to show emotion now,I know when it comes to myself I am not afraid to cry or show emotions,because I know it doesnt make me look weak,on the contrary it makes me stronger because it shows that I am not afraid to be honest about how I feel.

This is a great topic and one that needs more discussion in my view. I am a free lance writer and an article I wrote focused on a similar theme. It is on my blog under the post...No Where to Turn at http://pohl-perspectives.blogspot.com if you are interested in reading it. Since the women's movement started and has grown to the degree it has men appear to be struggling to catch up. The lack of men's resources and support groups is rather alarming and whenever I hear about men being teased or put down when they risk being genuine about their feeling it shows why they often refrain from doing it. My husband and I are also life coaches and group leaders and work with couples and families. The greatest challenge we all face in society is finding people with whom we feel emotionally safe. Men who are willing to reveal what they feel and show their vulnerabilities are courageous in my view. They know that they may be diminished by others but are willing to be "REAL." Those who demean them are probably uncomfortable because they are not sure how to handle it. The old stereotypes around the male and female personae are changing...and it is about time...at least from my perspective anyway. From the sound of your discussion we are on the same page with our beliefs on this one. Glad to have a chance to share views on this. Best regards, Raia

I am a firm believer in that it takes a real man to cry. Why should they have to bottle up their emotions when it is okay for women to cry whenever they want. Tears are healing and therefore I believe should be allowed to flow freely as and when they come to release all the hurt and pain and stress from inside. Not showing emotion like this can actual cause harm if not realeased and can cause problems later and that goes for men and women. Interesting discussion topic. Ellie :D

hello checapricorn, i am not a fan of a man who likes to pretend so growing up i tend to befriend with someone i feel is real and will just be himself whenever he is around. NO i did not make them cry LOL they do cry on their own when i said BAD DOG hahaha! kidding aside, i met a lot of guys who cried in front of me and i always remember that they will tell me that im the only person who can make him cry and express himself like a real human. i guess because i tell them not to fall in love with me or they will be in trouble LOL my husband is a very sensitive man and that makes me happy. he cries easy if he is in pain or if he sees someone in pain. he is a very loving person and i am happy that i have found someone like him. i tried not to cry if i am sad coz i see him cry too, i used to tease him that he shouldnt cry often but he said he is connected to me so what i feel he feel it strongly and more coz he loves me too much. IMHO, guys who is not afraid to show their true feelings are not afraid as well to show their true personality and i prefer it that way than see a different kind of person all the time. i like someone who is real and who is free to tell and show me that he is just HUMAN... takecare!

It would depend entirely on the circumstances. If the man was crying because of some dreadful happening or some shock I would say great. It shows he is a human being.He has feeling just like us women do. But if he wept at the least little thing, I would think there may be something wrong with him in the upper story.there are times for tears.

If you ask me, it takes a real man to be able to cry and show emotions. I have nothing against men who don't, but I prefer my man to be able to cry with me, not just hold me while I cry. I don't think anyone should be teased because they are showing their emotions. It shows they are human and have feelings.

I complitly agree.

Though I have little sympathy for men ;), I do admit that it must be stressful for them to conform to the social ideals of a "real man." They are taught from childhood to be a "little man" and later to "be a man." Now, one of the attributes of "being a man" is not to show softer feelings, and yep, not to cry. It must be stressful for a gentle, sensitive man to conform to these rules. We can only wait for human society to grow up and say that it is more important to be a "human being" than a "real man" or a "real woman." Would I be contemptuous of a man who cried before me? The answer is NO, NO, and NO. I would appreciate him for being human. Cheers and thanks for this lovely discussion.

Hello checapricorn, My brother is an example of a man who can cry freely in public but my husband really hates seeing a man cries. For him, as a man - he must be strong and keep everything inside. If he is not that strong and can easily being hurt, how he is going to be the pillar of strength to his family? Since the very first time I knew him, he seldom cries. As far as I could remember, maybe less than five times and it always happened in our bedroom - he and myself. I don't look down on men who cry easily but I do think that men should be stronger than women but it doesn't mean they cannot cry at all.

I frequently have a little weep. I feel better for it afterwards. If that doesn't make me a "real" man in some peoples eyes then that's their problem. I am pleased that you have reappraised your view. Bottling up does no good at all and can be incredibly destructive.

The days of 'real men' are slowly vanishing with the equation of men vis a vis women is becoming thin or diluted. Now that most men are crying in privacy,it is agreed. Crying in public is yet become a common thing.Its not that I say it must become one but given a situation or circumstance let crying occur as it does. Even health professionals are recommending men to cry if ever it happens to them. It has its positive effects with almost no negative effects except stigma. Don't we see in movies, even the biggest of heroes, crying and showing emotions naturally.

I don't mind man cring in front of me,actually,sometimes,I cherish that so much, since they seldom cry,and if they cried in front of you,they must be very close to you, so that they can open their hearts to you! However,I cannot bear man who cry a lot.I don't think they are weak, but I do believe that a real man should control their tears.

i would say - no behavior is tied to gender. the REAL word is critical. it is more of culture and values. i may be a man and i grew up being open to what i feel, then my tendency is to be open to showing my feelings. on the other hand, if i grew up in a society and family that restricts men from crying, i will grow up living on that paradigm. sometimes, it is a matter of choice or circumstance. i may be the only son and the whole family is depending on me. showing a tear may shatter the family - i will hold my tears and my feelings. if they are fine with that... i will be more open. a lot of factors, more on belief and values. now, i will cry... kiddin, good day!

I appreciate men who show their feelings also. Most men are raised to think that they are a sissy if they cry. I like to see a man shed a tear every now and then to show that he does have a heart and that he does have feelings and cares for others. I have seen my husband cry a couple of times since we have been together. I don't think it makes him look like a sissy at all. I don't think men who cry are weak or gay either.

I believe it takes a real man to be able to show their emotions. As a woman I find that very attractive in a man. I like when I see a man with tears. It shows me they are comforable with who they are. I have never made fun of a man that has cried and never would.

I agree that real men are not afraid to show their feelings. I think it shows that they are in tune with their feelings. I see this as a sign of strength not weakness as they are showing their true feelings.It is bad to bottle things up as it could show through in other ways.

I admire men who can open up Che,it shows sensitivity,and it makes them human.Years ago men were taught to think that it just wasnt the done thing to show any of their feelings,which is just plain silly...why on earth shouldnt they???they have feelings just the way that women do!!...but i think as the time has gone on men have realised that it is acceptable to let their feelings show....my hubby loves the outside world to think he is all macho lolol..but hes just a softy!!...and he often has a tear come to his eye,ive found more so as he has gotthat much older.

A real man will cry and I dont like men who will hold everything in . I say just let it flow most people wont judge or care .

Its like this...A person need not prove anything by displaying emotions or by lack of emotions either.It depends on the person.A person who shows emotions need not be termed sensitive.I have come across a lot of people who seems emotionless from outside but are really opposite inside.It isnt the emotions a person displays,its his deeds.A person who does good deeds for people he/she loves is far better.