My friend got married 6 months ago and I only found out now

Australia
May 28, 2008 1:01am CST
Yes that's right. This is my friend I've had since grade one, when we were 12 and 13 we practically lived at each other's houses. At high school we kind of drifted apart as we had different interests and took different paths but we still remained friends and ever since we both left school we have kept in touch by phone. Admittedly, we don't see each other very often but we always keep in touch. We're in the middle of planning lunch with another of our friends in a couple weeks time. Today I joined up to facebook and I saw her profile. She has got photos of her wedding and I didn't even know she was married! I emailed her instantly and she wrote back saying "Yeah we've been married since November!" I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit upset that she didn't let me know when the wedding was. I kind of didn't expect to be invited but it hurts a bit when she has all her new friends as the bridesmaids and I didn't even have a clue she was getting married! Would this bother you?
6 people like this
36 responses
@ameeluv (388)
• Saint Lucia
29 May 08
what can i say, stuff like dat happen all the time... its upto u to tell her how u felt n make up for it
1 person likes this
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
29 May 08
Suprisingly this won't bother me. Probably won't even care. But I do understand that you got upset. I hope you can forgive her for not telling you, and that your friendship doesn't get ruined over this.
1 person likes this
@mikeysmom (2091)
• United States
28 May 08
it would bother me very much and i would have to ask myself is she is really a friend. my answer would be a resounding NO! how can she not mention something so important. the answer is; she did not want you to know because she did not want to invite you for some reason and i for one would ask her why. you deserve a response and to be honest once you get the response i would find some new friends and forget her. i have had similar situations in my life and basically found that my so called friend did not really think i was good enough to be around her new friends. i feel badly for you as i know how hurtful this can be.
1 person likes this
@judy43 (299)
• United States
28 May 08
Yes it would bother me thinking that we were good friends and not to tell me important news.. I might rethink friendship
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11920)
• United States
28 May 08
Yes, that would have bothered me. My husband likes to remind me that not all people think about other people's feelings like I do..... but this goes beyond that IMO. I think it would have hurt me. I had a similar thing happen. My best friend from high school (I was her maid of honor, she was my matron of honor) got pregnant with her first child. She was still living in our hometown, I had moved away, but I called often to get updates on her pregnancy. I made a very special (time consuming, but that doesn't matter to me) baby blanket for her and even travelled home for her baby shower. When the baby finally came I got a call from her husband. I was so excited, 'wait let me get a pen to write down all the specifics', he starts telling me everything and I realize the baby is now 3 1/2 weeks old? ????? Okay, I understand that in-laws and family get the phone call on the day of birth. But three weeks? almost 4. I was hurt.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6448)
• Canada
28 May 08
I guess so. This did happen with my wedding, to be honest - I thought some friends knew about it - we were all in a group of friends, and since I wasn't the type to talk about the wedding all of the time, I never really brought it up. You could talk to your friend about how you feel, she might be unaware.
1 person likes this
@jessieBee (1046)
• Trinidad And Tobago
28 May 08
Hell yes it would bother me and it should bother you too. This is a person that you have been friends with for years and she didn't even tell you she was getting married? Are you sure she sees you as a friend or just someone she talks too? You know people change over the years.
1 person likes this
• India
28 May 08
Awwww........ so sad ma'am when u were constantly in touch why she didnt inform you syrange isnt it other side of the coin her wedin could have been in hurry she didnt hsve sufficient time to invite an stuff i suggest instead of feelin hurt u better talk t her when it cimes to ooccassions first thought on everybodys mind would the list if people to be invited isnt it dont worry discuss with her Regards Ramya
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
28 May 08
sure it will distrub u and u will feel dejected but same time, OUT of Sight, out of mind is coming valid very fast in this fast world
@drannhh (15235)
• United States
28 May 08
It wouldn't bother me a bit, but with my suspicious mind I'd probably wonder if she was preggers. LOL.
1 person likes this
@lovenluck (1068)
• India
28 May 08
Must have hurt you a lot , how can she be so .........i just kind find the right word to describe it rude,insane,etc i just don't know what to say? you say you were in touch over phones but still for 6 months you did not know about her marriage thaat is just ridiculous ,very disgusting on her part , i don't know how i would have reacted if even one of my friend even if not so near does something like this to me.
1 person likes this
@raclie (1732)
• Singapore
28 May 08
wow... thats sad... maybe you tell her how you felt...
@gemini_rose (16257)
27 Jun 08
Its funny how you find out everything on facebook, I seem to be finding a lot of things out on there that I did not know about too! Dangerous place that is! Anyway, so sorry that your friend did this to you, it is not a very nice thing to do to you and yes I would have been upset too.
@kame_w (104)
• China
31 May 08
Just tell her your feeling about not be told. I will sad if I meet such thing,cause friendship is very important in my life.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
31 May 08
I agree she should have let you know,even if you could not have been there she should have told you...I can understand how you could be hurt....Yes i do believe it would have bothered me as well....I am the type that would have asked her "Why did you not tell me?"...however i would just let it go,maybe she has some new friends and since you and her are not as close she felt maybe you would not be bothered....But i think she was a bit insensitive to you...
@ElicBxn (61149)
• United States
30 May 08
Yes it would. If it had just been going to the courthouse and doing it that might be one thing, but a big to-do, that's upsetting. At least she's not expecting you to give her a wedding gift....
@ElicBxn (61149)
• United States
30 May 08
Yes it would. If it had just been going to the courthouse and doing it that might be one thing, but a big to-do, that's upsetting. At least she's not expecting you to give her a wedding gift....
• United States
30 May 08
Upset? I would be devastated! You would think she would at least email you to tell you. Are you two in the same town? If so there isn't any excuse. But if you love in a different town,then I can almost see not inviting you.Money is tight these days. But if you are in the same town, there isn't an excuse.
@skinnychick (6906)
• United States
29 May 08
If I had kept in touch with someone and I had known them that long- it would suerly bother me. I don't think I would be angry but I know I would be hurt and wonder why I wasn't at least invited.
@jer31558 (3683)
• United States
29 May 08
Wow, I would be dumbfounded in that situation. Did she not give any reason for her lack of consideration? Not that I would consider anything short of total amnesia to be viable. I think you have every right to be upset, and I think that your friend owes you an apology.