Heads up, this will affect you eventually

Hi Sweetie, This is why I have been so quiet. We have been worried about Mom. See, she had suddenly begun complaining about people bothering her when no one was around to bother her. It escalated quickly to where she wasn't sleeping and had her grand kids terrified that someone was trying to peek in windows and break into the house. She is doing much better now, but my sister in law has to think about her children too. Mother needs to be where she can be monitored at all times, with her meds, with her diet, and now, with what they are saying is dementia. Nursing homes want collateral. That's what it boils down to. Often, they want you to sign over the patients property. Well, she doesn't have property anymore, hence, they want the large sum of money. The reciepts, they want to know what is going out on her meds, what bills are being paid, basically how much money they can pinch from her. Barry and I have a small house, lots of animals, and we can't stay home with her. She fell once at my sister in laws and she doesn't have animals to trip over. Her other daughter, well, we won't go there. She is part of the reason Mom doesn't have the full value of the house. Mom will have people to talk to. Things to do. Her own room. She will have more of a life than sitting at the house staring at the walls. She will be safer too. Thanks for the support.

hello again, thanks for the reply. i was just discussing your mom's situation with my hubby while we are having lunch. i asked him if its common to really asked for all the receipts that you have in 5 years (he was teasing me that i am planning to place him on one LOL) he then explained to me that maybe it is because they are trying to see how much money you have and how much they can get from you - he didnt know really BUT now you give me a good answer, i was about to asked my sis-in-law coz she knows it she used to worked in one i think. anyway, that is really sad that people/company have to take advantage of the old one. i dont understand it but i guess our world is full of that now. i agree with you that mom is best to be there at least she have other people same of her age that she can relate with and do other stuff than sit and watched others and feel alone. i would certainly consider placing myself in that way than to burden anybody or to feel alone. i hope your mom will enjoy her time there and be able to meet new friends and be safe. i wish her all the best and good health. dementia is common now i have seen it to some old people that i have met in life. it is not easy to them as well as to the family member but i am happy that you guys do want the best for her. takecare!

Hi Rose, I wouldn't wish to take anyone away from their home, from their life. If safety wasn't a concern, as well as health and general well being, we wouldn't be doing this. Keeping families together is wonderful but not always possible. We are also concerned about the children in the house, which at this point are terrified and confused. My sister in law has gone as far as she can. She has missed a lot of work. Things are slow with her husbands job as well. Mother sitting alone in a house where she is terrified now due to seeing thigs isn't a good environment for her. The idea of being "put away" is horrible. But, if I had a choice of being alone and afraid versus being around friends, having a life, and knowing my health and well being were being looked after, I would choose the assisted living. We asked her. We aren't just putting her someplace. She is actually excited about it. Where she has had no life, she is getting one back. That is a good thing. I love you. Thank you for offering anyhow. Things are going to be okay. Hugs

Mother had great insurance, at one time. After her divorce she let it lapse, said she couldn't afford it. We are working on getting her disability. Also, she turns 65 next year and that will help. None of us knew she let the insurance go until after she got sick. Fortunately, we have an accountant so maybe my hubby and I will be okay. We have boxes of records, ugh. But seriously, you might need an accountant. You are expected to fill out taxes for those family members that pass on. It doesn't makes sense to me, you can't pay taxes from the grave. Maybe we need an accountant and a lawyer on hold at all times? This is nuts.