I Arrested My First Citizen Today.

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As the only representative of THE LAW in my tiny hamlet, because we are not big enough for a resident Officer, I was the one awakened at 6am this grey, windy morning by such a row in the street I was catapulted from my bed. Interestingly, the noise was right outside my house between it and the RV where the soon to be ex is now living, and yet he had not made an appearance in the street.....mmmmmmm. Anyway, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater, ran a brush through my hair - decided I needed a hat to cover the mess, slashed on some lipstick so I didn't look half dead and headed out the door. And what to my wondering eyes did appear? One six foot, 220 lbs. very irate farmer in coveralls and baseball cap, one 13 hands high horse with no saddle, just a bridle obliviously munching on my lilacs, and one tiny little Mad Meg in a long white nightgown, hair unbound blowing wildly around her heart shaped face, sitting astride the horse and flicking a willow branch whip at the farmer who was trying to get her off the animal. Oh and let's not forget the deer in the lot across the street, totally transfixed by the sights and sounds, and the birds swarming from tree to tree trying to get some one's attention - probably other birds by the noise they were making. Casey, our resident hound dog - he really is a hound dog! was running to a fro barking and woofing and making more sounds than I've ever heard him make outside of low growls and sighs when mounting another of his breed. It was bedlam. But thank god it wasn't raining! That came later. The streets are still muddy and judging from Meg's gown and the mud on the horse, she'd been romping around town and field for some time. I couldn't get either human to pay any attention to me so I had to turn on my hose and start washing down the horses legs. That caused him to rear up a bit and set Meg a screaming at the top of her voice. She teetered a bit on the horse's back, but she held the reins and got him settled. The farmer finally turned to me and quickly filled me in. It seems he'd ridden the horse into town, as cars and trucks couldn't get through with the road closures, and he left it in the paddock at the end of my street that used to be a riding ring years ago. Meg was out early this morning on one of her predawn jaunts and 'found' the horse. She claimed 'finders, keepers' and that her spirit guides had sent the horse to her to 'keep her feet out of the mud'. She refused to give it up. The farmer refused to leave without it. He'd already been stuck in town over night with other's, sleeping in the town hall. that had come in to help with our flooding problems. I was about to try to sweet talk Meg off the horse, when suddenly she pulled the reins, the horse turned and took off down the street. For an old lady riding without a saddle, Mad Meg looked wonderful flying through the mud! lol She made me think of Godiva's grandmother. She was around the corner and gone before either I or the farmer could utter a word. He finally recovered and really lost it. He insisted on charging Meg with theft of his horse and demanded she be arrested! Well a conundrum to be sure. Who could arrest her? We had to catch her first! lol We made our way over to the town hall where the Church ladies were serving Coffee as they do there every morning, but today as on others these past weeks, were also serving breakfast to the farmers and other volunteers in town. Cell phones got pulled out and before long everyone in town was on the look out for Mad Meg. It took a bit of doing but we finally tracked the horse's hoof prints to Meg's garage. Sure enough, the horse was inside and Meg herself was calmly eating Cheerios out of the box in her kitchen when I went in her back door. I explained to her that she had to return the horse. She refused and proceeded to throw her Cheerios at me. So by the power vested in me as Mayor, by the town council, and in view of nearly 20 witnesses, I arrested Mad Meg. You realize that without a resident Officer, we haven't got a jail either? Of course you do. So what to do with Mad Meg? She is currently under 'house arrest' with a neighbour lady staying with her until I can calm down the farmer and convince him that it's not worth pursuing, as after a bottle of vodka and a few beers, she'll wake up tomorrow and totally have forgotten about the horse. We'll make sure to convince her that it was all a dream if she mentions it. That's worked in the past. Let's hope it works again! ROFL