Observations and Opinions
By Sparks
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
Regina, Saskatchewan
June 12, 2008 12:33am CST
Perhaps it's the day I've had, or perhaps it's echos of 'that time of the month', I'm not sure and frankly I don't really care. But I'm a little pissed right now - not from alcohol - although a drink would be nice about now, -but from emotion.
I have been so incredibly busy with the goings on in my town these past few weeks that I've had little time to be here on the lot.
Coming 'back' after even a short hiatus has been fun where my own friends and discussions are concerned, but as for the rest of you - what a disappointment most of you suddenly seem to be.
A little surfing and what do I find? A bunch of negative nellies jumping on innocent people for expressing themselves in purely innocuous ways.
Everone has an opinion and the right to express it. Not everyone is an accomplished writer and can word their thoughts to be perfectly understandable in their intended meaning. SO WHAT! If you don't like it, move on. Give the same break to people you would want for yourself. Get over your god complexes and live and let live.
If you must be negative in your opinon, at least be nice.
I know that this has been written about ad infinitum, but obviously it bears repeating again and again. The written word is a powerful tool no matter how badly done, and on forums such as this one, it delivers instant impact.
So breath before you respond and take the split second involved in putting yourself in the shoes of the person you are about to jump on.
Back away from the keyboard you negative nellies - back away I say!
I have observed too many of you in the past few days and my opinon of you is low indeed.
Thank God for my level headed and open minded friends here, or just surfing and reading this site would have me cancelling my account in a heartbeat!
I have often said that mylot has magic, and it surely does, but it also has bad mojo and I'm finding that rather tiresome.
But like I said - it could just be the day I've had or the echos of 'that time of the month'. Who knows. Who really cares.
I just had to vent and now I'm done. Thanks for reading and no negative comments allowed! LOL
10 people like this
18 responses
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
12 Jun 08
Sparks, I for one truly appreciate this post. I very good woman and friend of mine came under attack by one of your described "negative nellies". It upset me tremendously, it was uncalled for and asinine in nature. The question it raises in my mind is this, does this kind of criticism make these people feel superior to what amounts to semantics to begin with. What is it that they gain from such demoralization? We are all humans even behind the screens of our monitors.
So I do not mean to be negative here, but I have been touched this week as well by the sight of a "negative nellie" and watched as a fantastic human, woman, mother and loving friend getting taken to the chopping block all because of a single badly chosen word!
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
I used to hunt these kinds of posters and as P1ke said, it is depressing. I don't hunt them anymore. But if they are brought to my attention and there is something I can do, I will and have. I want to enjoy the limited time I have here, but I won't stand by and see good people hurt either.
Angel, we live in an instant gratification world. Have done since the "I" generation of the 80's. And what easier way to get instant gratification for over inflated egos or to stoke the fires of mental midgetdom than on the net, where we can hide behind anonyminity and feel safe thinking we are so far removed from our targets that any backlash is meaningless? People so quick to jump on others over single words, opinions or poorly phrased thoughts are not people I want to know in 'real' life, but sadly can't be avoided on the net. The best we can hope for is the support of our friends, and I am always there for that!
3 people like this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Hey Spark! I have noticed an influx (right word?) of people who start discussions about people here who have poor grammar skills and, I have had to keep my hands off the keyboard and walk away so as not to give too loud of a piece of my mind to the people who start those discussions. We get it...you like to be able to read what someone is trying to say without having to work your tiny little pea brain to figure out what they are trying to say! I wonder, have you (and, of course by "you" I mean those mean spirited people who start the discussions) ever tried to post in a Japanese discussion forum? I wonder how well you would do in that kind of forum?
I applaud anyone who has chosen myLot as a place to practice their English skills if English is a second, third, or 20th language. I took Spanish and French in school and, can barely remember any of it even though I aced both classes. So, to not only learn our language, but to actually put it to use from the comfort of your own home in your own country is commendable! And, I would gladly stand up and applaud anyone here who had set aside their own fears of ridicule to come here and further their learning of our language.
I am glad you started this discussion! I hope it teaches some the tolerance they are so sadly lacking!
Don't take the frustration on yourself by even considering that something is wrong with you! It bothers me too! And, yes...I am having my time of the month but, that isn't why I feel the same way about this subject as you do! I think this kind of intolerance should be brought to light and schooled on! Grow up people! This isn't only our country and your language! Get your heads out of your butts and try looking at the very basic beauty of what myLot is providing. It isn't just reaching out to others who speak your same language. It is reaching out to others who want to speak your language and get to know you from around the world! Shut up and listen instead of criticizing!
4 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
13 Jun 08
CortJo, here is the link that I want all of my friends to read...
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1555231.aspx?p=1#2_17317792
make sure you read the original discussion under Stiletto's response... I need some back up now.
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
Very well said and I agree with everything you've written. This IS a global community and a great opportunity for all kinds of people to learn and earn and share. Br to you my dear for stating it better than I could.
4 people like this
@cortjo73 (6498)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Thank you Sparks! Thank you first for the high praise! That means a lot to me, coming from you who is one of the most eloquent people on this forum! You always say things so perfectly so, to have you praise me, really means more to me than you will ever know!
And, thank you for the best response! It means a lot to me too!
Thank you!
4 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
12 Jun 08
Spark I have been noticing the same myself and I have been keeping an eye on one Person in a Friends Discussions and put my bit in it I think you know who I mean
I don't think we will ever change this though no matter what as these People have no intention of acting like the Adults they are suppose to be
Not a negative comment 
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Gabs want to see the neat cool work of a "negative Nellie"? Check it out
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1555231.aspx?p=1#2_17317792
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
Like I told P1ke gabs, we will always have these kind of people with us, on any forum. We can stand up to them, we can support our friends, but the sad fact remains that where one is defeated another crops up. Sad but true.*sigh*
4 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
12 Jun 08
OK what has your panties in a bunch besides the obvious. I have been off the lot for some time and have been slowly coming back into the lot and I see that this was posted and feel that I have again obviously missed something while in the seclusion of my home and kids since they are now out of school for the summer.. May I cry on your shoulder. LOL!!!! So who do I need to hurt to make you happy? If you need to talk I can call if you want and I wanted to let you know I have put a part two to one of my stories out. check it out it might make you smile. LOL!!!!
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
Angelwhispers brought an attack on a good friend of hers to my attention and I realized that after being away from here for a bit and coming back and looking at the site with fresher eyes, that except for my circle of friends, I really don't like this place much any more and I find that sad and disheartening. So you haven't missed much and no one's upset me to the point of needing intervention, I'm just disappointed in the quality of a lot of what I see here. Thank god for the friends I have here like you and Angel and the others. You make this site worth keeping up with - even on a limited basis.
4 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
12 Jun 08
Thanks hun you know how much we love you and want to continue to have you among us. Let me know if there is anything you need. talk to you laters and take care .. Do you need a phone call tonight?
4 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
Thanks sweets, no I'm good. Busy day this afternoon. Might need a phone call on Saturday though after the 'date' on Friday! LOL I'll let you know.
3 people like this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
12 Jun 08
That's why I just stick with my friend's discussions and rarely look at any others. I don't want to see it, I don't want to read it, and I definitely don't want to get enmired in it. Besides, you guys keep me eternally busy! The number of discussions I have to choose from is vast, darlin, and all supplied by my sweet circle of friends. And considering how 'chatty' we all are, it's also my main form of communication with them. I still love coming here, to the Lot, to all of you. I've been a bit MIA these days, periodically, but that's what happens. I'll probably be a bit more MIA in the near future, but this is probably what's gonna keep me sane, so whenever you pop in, you should see me about.
So stick with us, Sparky, we'll never do ya wrong. Leave the nellies to the other nellies. Defend where you must, as we all do, as we all have to do. But among ourselves, there is so very little of it - it's the eye of the hurricane, perhaps, with all of what's going on around us, but it's calm where we are, no cows flying by or anything. I love ya, sweetie. XXX
4 people like this
@novataylor (6570)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Me too, sweetie, it's all of you that I keep coming back for.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
It is strictly for the group we have here, that I bother coming back. You all are so important to me. But when one of you pm's me with a concern, you know me nova - I jump right in and do what I can. And I don't mind doing it. I just don't go looking for it anymore. As P1ke says, it's depressing and I have enough in my life to make me feel sad or bad, just like everyone else, so I don't need to add to it. I come here to 'escape' all that or share my off site insanity for the fun of it. Angel was upset, and that hurt me, so I posted this to show support and reiterate yet again to the trolls of the site that they are not appreciated. I won't walk away from a fight, but I don't need to look for a fight in return to make a point. I love you and all my friends here and that far outweighs the negative nellies as far as I'm concerned!
2 people like this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
12 Jun 08
Point me in the direction of one Sparky. I was thinking quite the opposite. Apart from one silly person I've barely seen any real negativity for a week or two. But then I am trying to live in harmony with myLot right now. I am spending less time here and responding to fewer discussions therefore. Unless you mean me!?!
4 people like this
@only1shi (404)
• United States
13 Jun 08
i've always enjoyed your comments p1, so i don't think that it was pointed at you. i'm, torn between both sides though. i haven't seen a whole lot of negative stuff lately, but i have gotten a negative or foolish response to some of my discussions.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
I get more pm's from friends pointing me in the direction of negative nellies, and I do what I can to deflect the nastiness. I even make some of those trolls my friends and they leave their targets alone. But lately, I've only time for friends but I did find it interesting that after being away for few days, the site had a whole different feel for me when I did some surfing the other night. I didn't like it quite frankly. But I have returned to the bosom of my friends and the good feeling has returned. We will never be rid of the negative types. Like the poor, they will always be with us. But we don't have to feed them!
2 people like this
@1grnthmb (2055)
• United States
16 Jun 08
This seems to come in circles. It will be really good for a while and then, WHAM, it starts back up again. My wife used to really love this site. It was her release from the troubles of her life. But it got to be to much for her with all the back biting and politicking. I do not know if it is a moon, venus, mars or what cycle, but it happens like clock work. I pretty much try to avoid the negative discussions but have felt sorry for some who just are attacked just because someone is spiteful. There have been to many good people leave just because of this.
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
16 Jun 08
I try to avoid them now too, but when a friend asks for help - I'm there and I don't pull any punches.
It's good to see previous users return stronger though. And in our circle, you can bet they will be protected and defended.
Hugs to you both.
1 person likes this
@Tetchie (2932)
• Australia
12 Jun 08
If nothing else, this forum is a very good way of being creative in expression. It's an especially good forum for getting a disagreeable opinion across in an intelligent mature way. That saying 'Think before you speak' is no different to 'Think before you type.' For some who just want to be aggressive and disagreeable, well there's naught to be done but take a deep breath. For those who take the road less traveled, being creative and grown up; you become more deserving of any audi
ence.
ence. 3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
Well said Tetchie. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the negative nellies would aspire to be grown up in their creativeness though? We can but hope our example will rub off on them.
2 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 Jun 08
Well said Spark! i feel a bit of a hypocrite for saying that as in the last week I have snapped at a couple of people who whilst expressing their opinion did it in a nasty and mean way! I am afraid to say that I couldn't stay positive mummymo and told them off quite soundly - I just couldn't stop myself as I was fed up with them being nasty and thoughtless! Hugs to you honey xxx
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
Mummy don't ever apologize for going after someone who has unfairly attacked someone else. I"m sure you weren't abusive and the people doing the attacking need to be put in their place. We need to stand up to these people or they will run rampant all over the lot and that's just NOT on!
3 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Mo Mo read this one....
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1555231.aspx?p=1#2_17317792
after you read it through read the discussion...the link is under Stiletto's response there... Then you will know what has me so riled again after 5 days.
3 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
13 Jun 08
Thanks spark! Even when I am standing up for other people I feel as though I try to be respectful and see all sides but sometimes I just can't do it! lol Our friends stalker was the main one I have tried to tell off (you know who I mean right?) and you'll never guess what - they have now put in a friends request for me but it can sit there forever as far as I am concerned - at least that way she can't continuously request my friendship that way! lol
Angel I can definitely see why you are riled - one thing ot express your opinion another to twist what someone else has said simply to get validation for your own reasoning! I'm afraid I hate to get involved there too! OMG I just cannot be a good girl at all right now! They chose the wrong time to rile me I am afraid! lol
Hugs to my 2 gorgeous friends!
xxxx
2 people like this
@CanadaGal (4304)
• Canada
12 Jun 08
What lovely sentiments sparky. I don't know what it is with me, but I don't often come across the type of negative behaviour you're referring to. But I would bet that is because I tend to only answer friends' discussions... .certain friends' more than others, depending on how the topics available interest me at the time.
It'll soon be that time of the month for me too. And the moon was looking rather full last night... goodness knows it was emitting too much light into my room (damn brownie and killer big cannon! lmao!).
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
Would your supplier take on a new customer? LOL I sure could use some of what you've got going! You say there's a moon? Where? I haven't seen it or the sun in weeks and it's STILL raining here and supposed to do so for a few more days, and a few more days, and it seems never ending! It's depressing to say the least and I could sure use a means of relaxing that doesn't include vodka! LOL
Like you CG, I come here and interact with my friends and stay away from the more confrontational threads. But when a friend is under attack, I do what I can to support and diffuse the situation. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but what's the point of being a friend if you can't be there when they need it? But for the most part, I remain within my circle and enjoy it immensely. Now stop the bogie rountine and pass that cannon! LOL
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
Geez Annie you scared the life out of me! You sneaked your comment in while I was typing mine and when I saw this part of the thread again, I thought I was losing my mind! LOL
1 person likes this
@AnnieOakley1 (5596)
• Canada
13 Jun 08
yeah, that natural herbal remedy is dang good stuff.
2 people like this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
12 Jun 08
I noticed this when one of my great friends on here was getting hammered on by someone causing some trouble. A newbie nonetheless. It really irritated me, I almost posted something in her defense. She blows people like that off and that's how she really lives her life so I respected her discussion and let that person rant to themselves. After all, noone else was reading their stupidity. I wish mylot would boot some of these people.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
Mylot needs to learn to read before it will be in any position to take action I'm afraid. So where's Crash when you need him hmmmmmmmmmm?
2 people like this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Jun 08
hi sparks as usual you make such good sense, I see it
too so many times when someone just jumps all over
another mylotter for nothing save giving her or his own
opinion. since opinions are mostly what we work with
'how is it wrong for each of us to have different opinions?
What a dull world it would be if we all agreed on everything
without fail. mylot does have majic but also mojo and
thats so sad. who am I to critize you and who are you to
critize me just for having my own opinion? we can act like
'adults so lets all give it a real try. please
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
From your keyboard to God's ears Hatley! I'm just so grateful for the really really wonderful group of friends I have here, like you and Angel and others. It's the only reason I come back. You guys never judge and are always kind and that's getting to be a rare thing these days! So kudos and hugs to you.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
12 Jun 08
LOL tess. YOUR god complex is more than welcome! Truly. I treasure you bluntness and honesty despite the pull of the mylot trends to gang bang and pontificate and jump on the train travelling the low roads! Don't change! Be as godlike as you wish - you will always be a goddess to me!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
Oh baby! Where's my bob..........................LOL
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
13 Jun 08
Aww Sparky..its not you..I've seen it too and am so glad you aren't one of them..I'm nothing as a writer and sometimes my words are less than perfect, but I'll be the best friend for anyone and never let them down..that you or anyone else can count on!
3 people like this
@Angelwhispers (8978)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Rose Have a look then read the link under Stiletto's response... I am quite upset,,,,
http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1555231.aspx?p=1#2_17317792
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
I love the way you write kitty. It's clear, often funny, fresh and to the point. If people have a problem understanding you, it's THEIR problem and not yours and they deserve to have their a*s kicked if they get bent out of shape about it. I know you're a good friend to people. I've felt it, I've seen it. That's all that counts in my book. I don't care how well or poorly someone writes as long as I know they are being true to themselves. So if you ever need to have an a*s kicked, just let me know!
2 people like this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
14 Jun 08
Sparky and Angel..
You two i want to thank for keeping me going on this site..and love how you all pitch in when someone hurts...I just got done responding to RL after Erilyn's discussion so thanks Angel for showing me the link.
Huggles
2 people like this
@Erilyn (3020)
• United States
16 Jun 08
OMG Spark I can't believe I didn't see this till now. with everything going on I didn't go back through all the comments on her discussion. Please forgive me. I really do apperciate all the support that rallied around me. And I didn't realize that most of the support came from this discussion. Please forgive me for being so late in seeing this discussion. I want to thank everyone for all of their support! I think it is great and Angel and I discussed it that it seems that we won! She stopped posting in her own discussion probably cause of all the critisim she was recieving with the support that I was getting. I know I am a bit late here....but I do want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone...I think that I will go back through this discussion if you don't mind and do just that.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
16 Jun 08
Hey sweets - no probs at all. Better late than neer right? LOL And go ahead - respond to everyone here if you want. And do join my friends list. I look at it this day, if you're good enough for Angel to bring to my attention, then you're more than good enough for me! ROFL Hugs.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
13 Jun 08
Whoa...calm yourself down sparks! You are grouping a lot of people into one category. Was I one of those people? I do have my days but I try to be peaceful. There are always those that get way out of control here with the negative comments for no real good apparent reason. It always stirs things up. I know how you feel and you are right. People really need to be careful of how they word things on here.It is really easy to misunderstand or to quickly type something in the heat of the moment and well, you can't take it back. Anyway....glad to have you back! we'eve missed your discussions and spirit!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
Hell bells sid, of course it wasn't you! No, a friend of mine brought a friend of hers to my attention and the attack she was brought under for the use of one simple word in her lead line. No big deal and totally out of line for one particular poster to get so nasty about it. I had been off site for awhile and been doing some reading here and there of my own when I got the pm about my friend's friend. It just fit into what I had observed so recently, that I posted about it. I wasn't targeting anyone in particular. I was just pissed that no matter how often a post is put up asking people to be nice, so many never learn and so many others just don't care! It's kinda disheartening you know?
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
14 Jun 08
I agree with you about this issue! If there are truly one hundred and thirty thousand people on myLot, you would think that we could find more positive discussions, even when you are away! No wonder you are mayor! I want you to run for myLot mayor! You can do it! I hope you did not mean me, as I do try to be careful and often skip a discussion if I cannot think of anything positive to say! You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned word meanings, as every town/city/state/country has their own meanings of words and it is not only dialects but many words have several meanings!
1 person likes this
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
15 Jun 08
Exactly! It happened between two of my friends, many times, in real life and on the internet! People use adverbs and adjectives, it is not always calling people names, but describing a noun or an action! I am glad that I am not one of the offenders!
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
15 Jun 08
Very well said olive! And that's the point - every culture has different meanings that don't always translate into other languages well, so why pick on someone because of the use of a word when the ENTIRE meaning is clear in the whole of the discussion. And NO I didn't mean you at all - it was a problem brought to my attention from a friend about a friend of hers. As I said above, MY friends circle would never behave in this way, and that includes you sweets.
1 person likes this
@Winter08 (441)
• Canada
13 Jun 08
Perhaps the negative nellies don't know any better and just need some coaching on other ways of doing things. And perhaps the all-knowing (?) whatever has elected you to be the head coach of the re-adjustment team.
It could be called "Team Insanity" ... the better way to go. After all, sanity doesn't seem to have a great "happy" track record.
Seriously, though, what if???
What if, by your participation in some negative nellie discussion, you are helping to shine a light on their behaviour and that bit of light helps them to see things a bit differently. Maybe not much. But even just a bit differently is a start.
It could be called "Team Insanity" ... the better way to go. After all, sanity doesn't seem to have a great "happy" track record.
Seriously, though, what if???
What if, by your participation in some negative nellie discussion, you are helping to shine a light on their behaviour and that bit of light helps them to see things a bit differently. Maybe not much. But even just a bit differently is a start.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
13 Jun 08
When I get pointed to a discussion where someone is being mean and rude, not out of ignorance, but just because they can, I post to them. I've had some success with some of them, and there have been apologies all around and a calling off of the negativity. But some people never learn, and totally disregard the guidelines and they need to be constantly reported - the only solution for them is to have them off the lot completely.
1 person likes this
