Should a parent always let the child win while playing a board game?

United States
June 27, 2008 2:55pm CST
When playing board games with their children, should parents let the child win each time? Does it depend upon the child's age as to whether the parent should let the child win? What is your opinion on this?
5 people like this
16 responses
• United States
28 Jun 08
A fun game it is OK to let very young children win but older one need to learn that one does not always win in life. Good sportmanship is also a valuable lesson to learn.
2 people like this
@winterose (39897)
• Canada
29 Jun 08
when they are really young yes, you don't want to destroy their ego, but as they become teenagers they have to be strong enough to accept the challenge, maybe around 10 I would start winning some games, if I was a much better player than my child, and let him win some but by teenage years, I would start getting tougher,
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (116526)
• United States
27 Jun 08
I do not think you have to let children win gameshe other hand my family helped me compete, and I helped my kids compete. It was less about winning and more about actually playing, learning skills and strategy along the way.We had lots of laughs that way.
@onthetop (193)
• United States
27 Jun 08
hey crazynurse well in my opinion no, as parent it is not good that they let their children win each time ... 1. they will get the impression that they are good and can always win, but when in real if they loose that will affect them. 2. they think that their parents doesnt know anything and its very easy to defeat them, that mentallity will be dangerous when they grow up. if you win in between it will help in several ways 1. one they will get harder level of games so they will work hard , that will reflect in their life too and learn that if they loose thay have to work hard so that thay will win again. 2. it also tell the truth that their paremnts have much experience then they are and when they grow up they will not disobey your thoughts ...
1 person likes this
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
27 Jun 08
No, I don't think parents should always let children win. Letting them win all the time sets them up for disappointment. Life is not going to always be that easy, and losing a game at home is a good opportunity to show children how to handle losing and disappointment. When the parent does lose or let the child win, they should model good, gracious behavior. When they win, they should model how to be a gracious winner. These lessons will help children in all areas of life, not just competitive games.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15319)
• United States
27 Jun 08
I don't believe in LETTING a child win at games. First they need to learn that you don't always win and 2. how can they get better at the game if you allow them to win. I don't believe that you should change the rules for them to win ether. I do think that you can help them win by making suggestions on how to play. I have a step grandson that hates to lose and he is 13 He will change the rules if he thinks that he is going to lose. the other kids in the family don't like to play games with him because of it.
@risris24 (712)
• United States
27 Jun 08
Not at all, although I am by no means saying it should become a competetive game either. However, in real life, you cannot always win, you can strive to win and to be the best, but there is no guarantee that it will always happen that way. The quicker children learn that life is not always fair, nor can you always win and wehen losing, you should lose graciously because no one likes a sore loser, the better of they will be in the long run. Some kids think that they can win at everything and are not prepared for loss, so when that happens, sometimes the actions of the child are crying, hitting, kicking, screaming and tantrums of some sort, in other words they act like sore losers. The best thing in my opinion, is to get your children involved in a team playing sport, because one they will learn how to be a part of a team which is very important and 2, they will quickly realize through experience that you win some and you lose some, and that it is just a part of life.
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
27 Jun 08
I do not think so. If the child is permitted to always win - he may become unhealthily angry later on in life when people won't be so prone to giving in to him. A child needs to learn sportsmanship, responsible competition, patience, sticktoittivness and being genuinely happy for the other guy that does win. the idea of always letting the child win I believe has grown a generation of selfish, greedy, angry and sad people.
1 person likes this
@lisa1105 (108)
27 Jun 08
I think you shouldn't always let the child win whatever the age because it does teach the child the meaning of the game but maybe thats just me, i have two children and with the father they have he doesn't like to lose often so he wouldn't say they have won when they haven't, which is good
1 person likes this
@golfproo (1841)
• Canada
27 Jun 08
Hi There, I have actually debated this very question before. The conclusion I have come to is "sort of" . In other words I do not let my child win, but I also do not blow them out either. I don't want them to get used to things being given to them. I think they have to work for them. At the same time I don't want to hurt their confidence or frustrate them either. cheers,
1 person likes this
@JoyfulOne (6242)
• United States
27 Jun 08
Maybe it's just me, but I don't believe we're teaching them to be good and gracious losers if we always let them win at a game. Sure, depending on the age we might not try as hard to win, just so they can get the thrill of winning. Once in a while though if we win, it teaches them something...here's a few that come to my mind: 1. That sometimes no matter how hard you try, you are still going to lose 2. How to accept defeat graciously 3. How to be thrilled when somebody ELSE does good 4. Games are supposed to be fun whether you win OR lose 5. Winning isnt everything
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
29 Jun 08
good points, which I agree with. some other thoughts - it teaches them how to strive as well as how to be responsibly competetive
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25050)
• Australia
3 Jul 08
A friend of mine had 2 daughters. The younger one always wanted to play games against her Dad. He never 'let her win'. If she won it was because she played better than him. She didn't win very often. I argued that this was hardly fair, that it would make the girl feel she was not good enough and could not win easily. Her father said it made her try harder, I said maybe she was already doing her best. I said parents would let their kids win so they felt the thrill of winning and experienced the joy of superiority, the child would then have the expectation to win ...if the child rarely won, they would have that expectation. What do you think?
@gemini_rose (16192)
1 Jul 08
I dont think that as parents we should let a child win a game all the time, I dont think doing things like that does them good long term. They could grow up expecting to win all the time, thinking they should win. Also making them fight to win gives them a bit of a competitive edge and kids need to have that in them, for them to want to win. I do occasionally let them win, it just depends on the game we are playing.
@excellence7 (3496)
• Mauritius
1 Jul 08
I think the parent must once after many times of playing defeat the child, in this way the child will be able to understand his weakness and will not over-estimate himself. Thus, he will be more prepared to accept the fact that winning and losing are both part of the game - what is important is simply participating...
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
30 Jun 08
No because they need to learn how to accept losing to a game and letting someone else be the winner from time to time. Life isn't going to let them win every time so they need to learn to accept that and learn to deal with it or else they'll be sore losers and no parent wants that.
• United States
28 Jun 08
When we play games with our grandkids we let them win a few and we also will win a few. It teaches them good sportsmanship. They get excited if they win, but also if they come in second or third place knowing how well they played the game. If you express to them how well they played and how close the game was they really enjoy it more.