Why is it so hard to make friends?

@sameroad (3180)
United States
June 29, 2008 11:03pm CST
Why is it so hard to make new friends? For kids it seems so easy but as you get older it seems to only get harder. Why is that? Why can't it be just as easy? why do we have to analyzes everything? It's really hard for me because I am SO shy and I have a really hard time expressing myself and just being me around people especially new people and then I'm not ever sure if they like me as much as i like them and I feel weird expressing that i'm enjoying spending time with them or telling them or asking if they ever wanna hang out? and I always feel so boring and that is why I can't make any friends. People want people who are interesting and maybe someone would/does find me interesting and I just don't know it? I have so many trust issues in people.. and I think that plays a role into making friends because I'll think, "well, are they just being nice or do they really like me?" I also have a hard time making conversion and if the other person stops, we just end up standing there! and i'll try and try to think of something to say but i just don't know! I mean i've gotten better then how i used to be but i seriously still need so much more help and work on it and I am just so sick and tired of being friendless!
3 responses
@dragon54u (31638)
• United States
30 Jun 08
It's too bad we don't live closer, I think you'd be a wonderful and interesting friend! I used to be very shy, too. I found that if I keep the conversation focused on the other person it flows smoothly and I get to find out a lot about them. Everyone loves to talk about themselves! Keep a standard list of questions and responses in your head and use them when conversations slows down. Ask about their pets, hobbies, compliment their car or their clothing and jewelry, ask them where they got that purse. say it's a great day for a walk/run/tennis/etc. I know it's tough, but you just have to cultivate some new habits. Try doing that and see if things improve.
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Thanks, I will try those things. I already try and keep a list of things to talk about in my head but they usually never end up coming out
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jun 08
I have no problem makeing friends i have problem keeping them around.the few friends i have are out of state and I haven't been able to keep anyone around longterm.I know what you mean by the trust issue in people.it been very hard for me too.
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
1 Jul 08
Yeah, I am having that problem as well.. the few friends i manage to get or have end up moving away.
@celticeagle (123895)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Jun 08
People love to talk about themselves. Be a good listener. If it isn't fifty-fifty then move on but, this is a good way to start.