Do you think a young widow with kids should re-marry?

@salonga (27821)
Philippines
July 1, 2008 10:43pm CST
Lorna Tolentino the actress has just become a young widow with the death of his actor husband Rudy Fernandez. He has 2 sons by Rudy and still young and very beautiful. Do you think she or any woman for that matter should re-marry if she finds an appropriate man, or just concentrate on her kids. Of course it all depends on the woman but if you were to give advice what would it be?
7 people like this
32 responses
@balasri (26546)
• India
19 Mar 09
Any widow with or without kids can definitely remarry if she wishes so.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
Yes you are right and this woman would really want to remarry at the right time. She is young and beautiful so I hope she finds a new guy sooner or later. Thanks for sharing!
@balasri (26546)
• India
19 Mar 09
Young and beautiful? Guys won't be a problem at all.
• India
18 Feb 09
Hello my dear salonga Ji, I am absolutely clear in my mind, if She gets partner of mutual underrstanding, She must get married, befor it is too late. In my own family, many years back, my cusion's daughter was married without any issues. In another case, having one yr old child widow was married. Those who talk , not to marry, won't be there to support all round. So She must re-marry. may god bless and have great time.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
19 Feb 09
I think you have good points on this. Indeed, she is still young and if the right guy comes along, I see no reason not to marry again. Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
• India
19 Feb 09
Hello my dear salonga Ji, So nice of your comments. It is true that everyone has to leave this worldlt platform when one's train arrives. Some go immature, for them there is life even after their partner has been eliminated by Almighty, and in fact young age goes just like that, all worries crop up during old age, we both are hale and hearty, but there is always fear among both, who would take care , in absence of anyone. So during young age, people should be asked and encouraged for re-marrying in order to safe their old age. may god bless you and have great time.
@riyasam (16567)
• India
19 Mar 09
i think every person should have a companion.it is not good for a person to remain alone.but it should be true love as there are many unscrupulous elements out there.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
19 Mar 09
Yes right you are. It is not good to be alone. Each of us need a companion and this woman is not an exception. I think she pronounced just lately that she would not want to grow old alone too.
@Sreekala (32820)
• India
21 Feb 09
Hi Salonga, I agree with you, it depends only on that woman. If she find a suitable person and who can take care of her children definitely she can re-marry. But find out a broad-minded person, it is a difficult task. I wanted to share a real incident. I know one lady she married at the age of 23 and her husband was in military and she accompanied with her husband soon after the marriage, after one year she came back for the delivery of her son. Soon after the birth of her son, she got a telegram which mentioned that her husband expired and she got only the ashes from the military (not even body). Now her son is his twenties and she remain unmarried for her son. Everybody insisted for a second marriage but she denied and said the memory of her husband is enough for her to live through her whole life. So still she is living for her son with the sweet memories of her husband. I really wish to salute her.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
23 Feb 09
That woman is admirable. At such young age other widow could easily jump to second marriage but she did not and opted to remain single. Her love for his deceased husband must be really great. She is exceptional.
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
21 Feb 09
In the case of Lorna Tolentino, she already has two grown and matured sons. And because they are already old enough to face their own lives, then I guess Lorna could re-marry a right person. Everybody needs someone and a companion in life. But, if the kids are still young, then she should concentrate on the kids before she engages into a relationship. For me, if ever that happens to me ( I hope it wont) , I will re-marry because I don't want to be alone and lonely in my old age. I don't have kids of my own to comfort me in times of loneliness and grief.
1 person likes this
@maryann82 (133)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
if she can juggle her responsibilitites between her kids and her new husband why not???? some widows choose to stay a widow for the sake of their children which is nice and it will keep the simplicity of their family life but for which reason i don't know if she ever consider her personal need. some widows marry so that they will have someone to help her either financially, physically or emotionally which sometimes promotes children to feel intimidated or having someone to share their mom with. in both cases it all depends on how well she will handle and face whatever consequence her actions will bring. if you're a widow and want to marry better tell your kids what you want and what it is for them than just marrying and let the kids adjust right????
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Those are good suggestions. thanks!
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
as i may add some widows marry to help them get out of their griefs. it's just like one of those times when you feel like your so alone and the need to have someone to back you up always pops into mind and you tend to look around for that special someone to fill in the position your husband left.
@excellence7 (3571)
• Mauritius
8 Jul 08
NEVER..According to me, this must not happen..because a marriage must happen once in a lifetime when the husband and wife dedicate their lives to each other..so if one pass out, the other must live life with the hope that his/her partner is by his/her side...the partner must not ever think of re-marrying.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
8 Jul 08
I respect your views on this. Really there are people who love just once and I admire you all for that. Thanks for sharing your views!
@Muelitz (1592)
• Canada
2 Jul 08
I can't give advise or recommendation if the person has not sought advice first. Okay for the sake of argument, she comes and tells me she wants to remarry. I will tell her to do whatever makes her happy. :)
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Thanks for your views!
@Hatley (164171)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Jul 08
myadvice would be to find love remarry and take careof your kids, you deserve happiness and they could use a father. It does not have to be an either or situation. she will ' always take care of her children but she is still young and pretty and deserves some happiness too.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
thank you for your views!
@Bluepatch (2480)
• Trinidad And Tobago
2 Jul 08
If you meet somebody you love, why not ? Just because you have children doesn't mean you should not marry. It might be a reason to marry. Children do need a father. Going alone means loneliness and the presence of children only partly takes that away. Where there is love there is always the need to be together with someone.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
thank you for sharing your good views!
• India
2 Jul 08
she can marry a person who treats her children as his own children.....the marriage should not affect the life of little hearts
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Yes, it is one of the important things to consider.
• Malaysia
2 Jul 08
she have to concentrate on her kids and in same time find someone to share the burdern with him. She have it's right to re-marry or not
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
She really has the right!
@miamilady (4923)
• United States
2 Jul 08
If she finds someone that treats her and her children with respect and love, then there would be nothing wrong with marrying again. If the man were to mistreat her or her children then it would be a bad idea.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Yes definitely, thanks for sharing!
@jess07 (319)
2 Jul 08
I think she must take some time to get over her loss, but then if she meets a man who is willing to love her children like his very own then why not remary? if it makes her happy she shouldn't worry about other peoples point of view!everybody needs somebody !
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Thanks for your wit!
• India
2 Jul 08
yes, why not. If men can get married again. Why not women? If she meet with right person, who is sensible and capable in taking care of her and her children, she should go ahead. Everybody have right to live according to their choices/ wishes.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
It must really be to the right person if she wants her life to be happier. Otherwise she must just end up regretting her decision. thanks for your views!
• United States
2 Jul 08
If she wants to that is up to her. Women with children who have lost their hubands can always fall in love again, it takes time, but it does happen, and if they want to marry that man they can.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
Yes, they can alway re-marry to the right guy. Thank you for your thoughts
• United States
2 Jul 08
If any widow is lucky enough to fall in love again, she absolutely should re-marry. Kids or not kids, she is entitled to her happiness.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
True! she deserves to be happy for the next time around.
@rsa101 (28259)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
Well of course if she falls in love again why not. I really don't think that a woman who is capable of loving should never stopped herself from falling again As for the children it should be mutually agreed upon by the parent and the children. I do think it won't matter at all if the guy really loves the woman very much. As for Lorna i don't think she would be ready to be in at the moment. I would say it would still be painful and he still loves his husband so much that she will not be looking for one in the near future. They have a very loving relationship that is hard to go away with in a very short time.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
2 Jul 08
I think so too! Thank you for your wonderful thoughts!
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
2 Jul 08
I am a strong believer in a widow getting married again. For one thing, if the kids get the security of a family and discipline of a father. Both the love of a mother and the love and discipline of a father are necessary for the complete growth of a child. Besides, marriage also means companionship. The children will grow up and leave or have their own life. A partner will be there to hold your hand in good times and bad, even when you turn old and gray and the man can help with the kids upbringing. .It is the best thing to happen for one and all.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Yes, you have good points!
• China
2 Jul 08
It depends on the man and her kids. If she can find a man who love both her and her kids, she'd better get married but first she has to let her kids love the man. But if the man doesn't love her kids, I suggest for the sake of her kids she'd better find another right man. Only in normal family can kids grow happily. And a normal family means one husband, one wife, love and kids who are loved and loving. Therefore, a widow should have a new happy family. It isn't an easy thing though. After all, things depend on efforts.
@salonga (27821)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
thanks for your good suggestions!