Did you think your spouse attractive when you saw at first sight?

@youless (104245)
Guangzhou, China
July 2, 2008 7:25pm CST
There is an interesting research and it found out that most happy couples didn't find each other attractive when they met at first. I wonder whether it is true. Did you find your spouse attractive when you saw him/her at first sight?
5 people like this
21 responses
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
3 Jul 08
Oh yeah... what caught my attention when she first walked into the lecture theater is her smile. Even when I was sitting at the far end of the room, I caught her radiant smile which got me interested to know more about her. Heh heh heh... till today, I still find her sweet smile so nice, it still melts my heart each time I see it!
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
That sounds so nice and romantic
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
10 Jul 08
Thanks for the best response. It is true. Till today I still find her smile very radiant and sweet. And on really lousy days at work, meeting her at the end of the day will melt the day's trouble away. Especially when she smile at you. Reassuring you that there is always that little silver ray behind the dark cloud waiting to welcome you home! I know it sounds corny... but that is exactly how I feel!
@faith210 (11232)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
Hi youless! I did find my spouse attractive the first time I saw him. He looks so ruggedly handsome but I really didn't show my attraction to him because a friend of mine at that time has a big crush on him. haha..And to tell you the truth, my husband said that he did find me attractive and sexy at that time but I was not his type. Can you believe that? haha.. Take care and God bless!
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
That's so interesting. I think everybody is interested in handsome men
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11232)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
That is so very true my friend!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 08
well me and my boyfriend aren't married yet but when I first met him I thought he was totally hot and then once I started to get to know him I just melted. He is so sweet and caring and so easy to talk to.
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
You are so lucky
• United States
3 Jul 08
thank you :)
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jul 08
Oh yea, it was a windy day and when she got out of a car the wind blew her beautiful brown hair like she was on a photo shoot. I asked a guy I knew standing next to me who she was, he told me her name and that she didn't date anyone from here. Ha! I married her, guess I broke the rule.
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
It's like a movie scene
• United States
3 Jul 08
Yes I did. He was not too tall, handsome, a gentleman, nice tush. lol I thought that he was amazing. He still is. He takes my breath away everyday. I knew the moment that I saw him that I was going to marry him. Our 3 yr anniversary is coming up in two weeks.
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
I think that's called falling in love at first sight
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I did think he was physically attractive the first time I saw him but I also thought he was obnoxious and a know it all. Come to think of it, I still do, lol, but I love him anyway.
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
That's good
@cjgrooms (4456)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I didn't find him unattractive but i also didn't think of him as a possible mate either. That came after we got to know each other a bit better.
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
Understanding each other and finding each others' virtues does take some time.
@teison2 (5923)
• Norway
3 Jul 08
No I did not find him instantly attractive. It was more his nerve and courage that got me interested.
2 people like this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
It seems that this research is correct
@msedge (4012)
• United States
3 Jul 08
We met my hubby online, there was no cam at that time so we just sent pictures to each other.I was not attractive to him but the best thing that i noticed from him was his good heart and kindness.We started as friends until our feelings got developed.
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
I am glad that even though you met each other online, but both of you succeeded and that's great!
@msedge (4012)
• United States
15 Jul 08
Thank you
@kalav56 (11496)
• India
3 Jul 08
In our country [more so in our times] we have the arranged marriage system. At first, there is communication between the fathers of the prospective groom and bride, the suitability of the households and things are considered and horoscopes are exchanged. Then an astrologer is consulted and the matching of horoscopes is determined. If the horoscopes are well matched then the day is fixed for the girl and boy to see each other in the presence of families. The groom's people visit the bride's residence and have a friendly chat and then things are decided. In our case my husband and I chatted for a long time [because we were the modern among the traditional and chatting was allowed by our parents.] Now, coming to the story, it is normally an accepted rule that the parents proceed to this stage only after all aspects are considered and generally the alliance gets through. The girl would mention one or two important prerequisites of hers and this would be taken care of before all the other procedure. The girl can say if she likes the boy and the boy is given a chance to agree or disagree after they, meet in person. Greater freedom is given to the boy to reject a person. In most cases the girls are expected to say ‘yes’ [otherwise the parents would proceed to convince her].It is all a conditioned upbringing. Though there were a few girls who dug their heels even well before our times [I got married in 1978] I was an obedient girl and was mentally prepared for whatever came my way. Now here comes the answer to your question-I was given to understand that my husband would be on the fatter side [my father had had this information from a friend of his [this friend had seen my hubby some years back]. I was slim like a reed and I expected the worst and was expecting a fat elephant. I peeped out of the window when my in-laws and husband came home to see me for the first time and was so relieved that he was tall and not fat. I am also tall and my requirement was that he should be tall. [All other educational qualification and career prospects had been taken care of]. My relief at the contrast in my expectation was so marked that I did not think about anything else-whether he had good features or whether he is dark/fair etc.., He was wearing a horrible looking shirt and I keep telling him that till date .He has decent features though people normally remark that I have better features. But we make a good pair and so I did not have any cause to complain. But whether I liked him on sight is another matter. The conditioned upbringing coupled with my relief at not being forced to shake my head for a fat elephant were predominant in my mind. He was an easy conversationalist and in the course of our conversation I had some doubts creeping in mind about his friendly nature. My father convinced me about one or two reservations I had My parents have only two daughters and I was worried whether he would be friendly with my folks .My father proved to be right because the area where I was slightly wary was totally disproved by subsequent events. . But thirty years of marriage has proved that he was more than friendly with them[my father was invalid for 18 years and my husband played a major part in taking care of him in crisis and he helped my mother a lot. He has done more for my parents than what I have done for him. From this long story the gist goes like this-we could not REALLY like or dislike the person who was chosen. Only a broad answer can be given-I liked him by relief from expected contrast . But I love him more than life and we are very happy together.He too feels that he has had a good wife and we have a good life-- so much so that my son feels that he would be lucky to lead a happy life like ours.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11496)
• India
3 Jul 08
Incidentally he is the only person who visited our house as a prospective groom[the first alliance.] He had seen a few girls before and he chose me over the rest. But I guess you would find this arranged marriage system very strange-is it not? Nowadays, this habit is reducing and many youngsters choose their own partners.
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
Here the arranged marriage isn't popular. It's good that people can select anybody they love.
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
I have no spouse yet but we're planning to get married soon.Well,when I saw him first,he was still a little boy.I didn't find him attractive but he found me attractive.He said that it was love at first sight but I don't believe in such.He said that I was pretty even as a little girl.
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jul 08
I am moved to hear that You found a good boy
@checapricorn (16049)
• United States
4 Jul 08
We were actually attracted with each other, it was because we both can talk a lot and with different topics...It was just like a magic it happens without wishing and without any signs..LOL!
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jul 08
It's good that you have many topics to talk about. Communication can last a good marriage.
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I thought my spouse was attractive when I first saw him. It was really his eyes that I noticed. He had beautiful eyes. Somehow, I just knew that there was something special about him and that I would end up with him. I was right.
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jul 08
Eyes are the window of the soul
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
3 Jul 08
Did I ever. He was just the sexiest thing alive I thought. I never thought a man like him could ever be interested in someone as plain as me! He was in good shape back then and had a full head of blond hair and a great accent. But from the other side of the coin I don't think he felt the same way about me on that first day! Although he does remember the day we met so that must say something. Maybe I was unforgettable for the wrong reasons?
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
4 Jul 08
Obviously you fell in love at first sight
• India
3 Jul 08
oh, certainly not!!! I didn't go for his looks, rather his sound academic background was the deciding factor, he was a gold meadilst and stood first for the university. and also he was so talkative, I hardly spoke on the day I met him. had a very nice job which secures our future... see the list is growing.
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
That sounds great. And having a talkative husband may have a happier life.
@bluishrose (2290)
• Philippines
3 Jul 08
i met my boyfriend online and when I first saw his pictures i was like oh no! hehehe Then I just told to myself oh what the heck he can be a friend anyway. but when I saw him in person I was like Oh my god! he was really a hunk and look differently on the pictures. Guess he is not photogenic haha! Im very gload I still meet up with him and up to know Im still drooling over him! lolz!
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
That's so nice
• United States
3 Jul 08
Absolutely. I thought he was gorgeous. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. Well, technically his photo. We met on the internet.
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
Internet dating works well
@Hatley (164170)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Jul 08
the first time i met him he and I were making a surgical bed' together, he was an orderly, and I was a nurses aide. I thought he was extremely good looking with the cutest butt I had ever seen on a guy and also thought he was rather arrogant and pushy but six weeks later i married the guy and we had 34 years of married life together before I became a widow. lol happy yes.
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
That's wonderful that you had so long happy time for your marriage.
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
3 Jul 08
No not at all! My dream of a person that can sweep my feet of the ground is someone tall, handsome and good built, it is the normal young girls dream then. My dream did not come true as I met and married a person totally opposite. So don't ever dream of a dashing prince charming or you'll end up with a toad!
1 person likes this
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
I also married to someone who is not my dream man.
@sirfsuraz (468)
• Nepal
3 Jul 08
WOW! so, i was not only one that who felt this. Hmm actually every body felt this. Yeah I didn't found anything special in her when i first met her. But later after discovering her I found more and more thing that attracted me towards her.. I think i must ask this question to her too. Lets see whats her response. I think the research comes true. hehe best of luck
@youless (104245)
• Guangzhou, China
3 Jul 08
OK, look forward to her reply