How long you can get over the feeling of hate?

@wendylb (203)
Philippines
July 7, 2008 2:54am CST
For me it takes time depends on the hurt I have received from someone. If he/she done somthing really bad to me, i really hard to get over those emotions. Yes, I can forgive the person, but the pain keeps aching when i am reminded. But now, i praised God always, That He gave me new life and he took the pains I've been carrying in the past. That every time i got hurts from other people i easily forgive. Am not that too wild now to revenge.. hehehe Also i thank God for the daily devotional I have read. In Exodus 11, Because of Pharaoh "stubborn will" to let the people of Israel leave Egypt, thousands of innocent Egyptians died. He's willful disobedience to God caused many to hate his attitude. And to author's reflection, it is indeed easy for us to condemn Pharaoh's of his willful acts but in FACING our own it seems VERY DIFFICULT to face. The passage forces the author to ask, "Is my attitude choking the life out of someone close to me?" and the question has strike me somehow. 1John 3:15 has reminded me to forgive. Our hearts become hard through repeated refusals to yield to God, But they can be softened by obedience. When we say " yes to God, the result is relief and life-giving release for our families, colleagues, and friends. Have a nice day ahead!
4 people like this
20 responses
@zeroflashx2 (2489)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
Sad to say, we all encounter such emotion at some point in our lives. It may really well depend on what made us feel that way in the first place. It could be something simple, but it could also be very serious and emotionally disturbing. But then, acceptance is the first step. However, hard it was on you, you owe it to yourself to just forgive and move on. We only have one shot at life and it isn't that long. We will tend to miss out on a lot if we keep hate inside of us. It will always be hard to forget but forgiving someone will make you set aside that feeling and you can safely say, you've moved on and you still have more to go through in life. Take care.
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
God Bless you as well Wendy. He forgave us our sins and who are we not to do the same. Take care!
2 people like this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
Yeah. Who am I not to forgive. Thanks. I remember my classmate in college. He has almost same face as yours but he's not wearing eyeglass. My friends used to call him SKATER BOY. Take care!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
yes i agree. it is really difficult to get over when you hate someone. as for my experience it took me 2 years before i recover from hatred. it is really hard to forget what happened especially when it comes to relationships.
2 people like this
@Erssyl (617)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
don't let hatred rule yourself.Especially when it comes to relationships.It is a universal rule that when relationship ends another even better will come.Life is beautiful enjoy every minute of it.If you love a person the more you should understand.forgive and forget.Don't let yourself deteriorate because of lingering hatred
1 person likes this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
No hurts that caused you no pain. And healing not easily comes. But when it comes, it free you up. It is advisable that you should transfer your focus to other interest. Mingle with your other friends. When you are finally able to let go past hurts it is extremely freeing and empowering because you are no longer allowing them to control your present relationship with your friends. Telling the other person you've forgiven may not be possible but you may decide to make it possible. Good Day!
@SnigdhaB (36)
• India
7 Jul 08
Its really hard to forget when someone breaks your trust or when someone very close to you hurts you badly. The initial feeling is not of hateness, it is of shock that how come this person, who was so very close to me, did this to me? And when the situation starts to seep in then its a mix of emotions that I feel. I feel hateness for that person and regret my decision of giving him/her so much importance in my life. But overtime we tend to forget all this. Sometimes we do cherish the beautiful moments spent with this person but even those memories end on a sour note.
2 people like this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
Yes, forgiveness is not something that always comes easy and it takes a continuous conscious effort to do so. It is not true that when you forgive someone, pains easily disappears. Forgiving is an ON-GOING process and first step is deciding to do so. If bitter memory still creeps in, we have to remind ourselves that "I have forgiven him/her." hehehe and by writing it down or saying it aloud helps reinforce this decision. Just be focused on the present with a more positive attitude. God bless you!
1 person likes this
• India
10 Jul 08
hey thanks for such beautiful words, i will keep them in mind. thanks:)
• United States
7 Jul 08
it depends on why i hate them or hated them. i have said that i hated my boyfriend plenty of times but only becuase he said something that really hurt my feelings or if he did something that caused us to break up. but later i feel bad becuase i really dont mean to say that i hate him i am just so hurt and mad that i feel like i should say something to hurt him.
2 people like this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
That why it burst us up when we're at peak of our emotion to the point do something we don't mean to happen. When I'm mad, i tend to avoid people that surrounds me to avoid them to trigger me to angry and hating them after. have a nice day to you!
• United States
7 Jul 08
Hate is a very strong word. I have had some horrible things happen to me but I have never "hated" the person who has done it to me. Of course I was very upset and hurt and offended, but I cant say I hated them. I usually find that when you have sour feelings for someone, you usually end up hurting yourself more. But as far as saying how long it takes to get over the pain, I cant say. It depends on what is done to you, the type of person you are, etc. It all takes time though. Time heals. As far as how much, who knows...
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
Wow! nice to hear that you don't hate. I hope to respond same as yours also. God Bless you!
@ash6666 (819)
• India
7 Jul 08
Its very heart paining when we get hurt by words of some others.It depends on the type of issue really to measure the extent of pain we feel.If we feel emotional at that time ,we get burst heavily.If I am in that situation I will be the one who raises up the tempo as i get hurt by the others and after some time I will be the one who cools up the situation.It happens all the time these days because of the fast and busy lifestyle.
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
Painful words many times I heard also and it deeply hurt when I always dwells on what the person said. I thank God that I don't explode easily when I'm at my emotional stage. I usually walked out away from that person. Happy day ahead!
@MaeTsuen (257)
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
oh... hate or anger are synonymous.... it took me 1 year to really get over my hate. Slowly but surely, and when it was over it was really over . It takes time you'll never know when and where just pray and ask God for blessing or help to help u be at peace. Because at times because of hate we tend to do stupid things.... it doesn't help to make it go away.
2 people like this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
Many times also, I did stupid things and I regret doing it. It caused other people to depart away from me because once i hate, i hated all person connected to the person i hated... You right that its only God's help that we can have peace after forgiveness is released. And its only him can gentle our hearts to release our forgiveness. God Bless you Mae!
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
It depends on how badly the person hurted me. The badly the hurt, the longer the time to heal. That was before I've accepted and known Jesus Christ. There was once that I hated a person so much.It came to a point that I hurted his daughter just because of that hatred. I then realized that I what I did was wrong. A week after that, I got a high fever. I asked God for forgiveness and told myself that I will never ever do that again. To avoid that situation I tried not to get deeply hurt by that person. i will always remind myself to stay away from the person that hurts me deeply.
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
PTL! that now you belong to God's family. Forgiveness may seems so hard for us to release but by his Grace, he brings comforts. We have same moves. I used to avoid person who deeply hurt me but there are times i cant avoid facing the person. What I did is just hoping to get wisdom from above what to say and how to behave in such a way nothing has happen in the past. It's indeed hard on my own strength but on God IT'S NOT!. Thanks be to HIM! God bless to you Bianca. Take care!
1 person likes this
@zijin01 (19)
• China
7 Jul 08
It costs one's patience to forget the feeling of hate, especially that hurts you deeply. When you depart with your boy friend who you get along with 6 whole years, the feeling of hate will come around you for years.The best way to forget it maybe is to start a new interest to transfer your attention.
2 people like this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
I also once had experienced being departed from my high school Friend. It took me months to forget what he did. And with new friends i have in my college life, attention focuses on new interest. That really helped a lot. God bless.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28226)
• Australia
7 Jul 08
Yes it is hard to get over a hurt, I think that is the same for most people, you start losing faith in people when you get a big hurt but when you do let go a bit and stop the hating you set yourself free...
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
You are right lila, to free yourself is to free from hating. By making decision to forgive helps us improve our relationships and it encourages us to be gentle with ourselves also.. If we hold grudges, it will make us sick! Who you're really damaging the most is YOURSELF, when you refuse to forgive someone. So be happy in releasing forgiveness to the one caused you to hurt. Have a nice day ahead.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
8 Jul 08
it depends which trigered the feelings of hate.if its cheating big time by a person whom i believed so much, i guess its never going to be totally absent.also if its not something which is making me crazy, then it will be OK i guess.
2 people like this
@azn_boo (36)
• United States
8 Jul 08
It doesn't take that long. Maybe only couple days or less, I get over it easy but when you see the mark, you just remember it. Sometimes you realize hating somebody, just stressing you out. So, it is better to learn not to hate and learn how to calm or ease your self down. Once you forgive, make sure you learn how to forget, you may not forget it 100% but at least you are trying.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Jul 08
That is up to you really. I spent 11 years with an abusive person. By the time it was over I hated him so bad, but discovered that my hate was actually me being ticked off at him. so long as I chose to be mad at him, I still gave him the power to hurt me. It may not make all that much sense, but I know I after i discovered that, I decided I had given him enough power and I no longer wanted to spend my days hurting. it's hard to see or find all the beautiful things in life including that someone who doesnt want to hurt you, thru tears. Also, another thing- Time heals all wounds. Even when you come to accept and move on from what hurt you, at first it's hard to forget but in time you will.
2 people like this
@roniroxas (10568)
• Philippines
8 Jul 08
it is natural that we cry or we get angry when we are hurt. when i get hurt i cry, and i always talk to my children about it. the pain ease when i share it with my children. and i am teaching them also at the same time to share if they get hurt. but after that i still hope this person will have a good life. my ex-husband is an abusive man. and i've learned from friends that he got married again and now single again. even my children are wishing that he would be happy and not to make his same mistakes again. we got hurt but that was over we just want him to have a good life.
2 people like this
@msedge (4012)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Its not good to put hatred in our heart.Its very unhealthy physically, emotionally and spiritually.I do forgive easily depending on the damaged one caused to me and i am just human.I get hurt.I tried to take away the hatred i am having in my heart now caused by some people that i thought i could be trusted but betrayed me.I wish i could take this feeling away but i can't control it.Only time knows when this would heal.I am still working on to just forgive them in my heart but i can't help to think what they did to me and it hurts until now.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Jul 08
It doesn't take me a long time to get over a hateful feeling. There are moments those who do me wrong puzzles me, gets me mad and makes me want to beat them in a bloody pulp but it wouldn't solve anything. I know I can do something better than that, move on, think positive and bury those grudges I had on people that harmed me or did things to me back then.
• United States
7 Jul 08
It takes a long time depending on the hurt that the person caused you . Yes god does say to forgive and turn the other cheek, but how many times you turn that cheek can be upsetting. I for one got very tired of turning the cheek, so sad to say I have a few grudges of my own I am holding onto and at this point of my life I am refuseing to let go of them
2 people like this
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
wow, i am glad you are back.. hmm, there are really some grammatical errors, but it can be understood well. hmm, i wonder why you wrote that discussion. maybe you are expressing now.. it is good, that when you express, yuo are also earning.. hehe.. it is also good to express, so that we will not be condemned by the enemy and that he would have no hold of us of the things that were done tous and that we did to others.. hope that you get over that feeling anymore. time to move on, time to start a new life. time to change.. hmm..
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
24 Nov 08
Wehehe, just this past days I'm into emotional hate struggle na pud. And I was laughing that when i opened mylot for an update, I saw the topic striking me... HUH! I am avoiding the person again that somehow deeply hurt of what i did. I already ask forgiveness to him but I seems unforgivable since he is not talking even smile when i smile at him...My efforts of making him smiles seems ineffective. The smiles I am expecting no longer on his face... Every time we have our breakfast and dinner, i used to eat fast and sometimes not joining them because i don't want him see me and be reminded of what it did. Am afraid that his blood pressure would boiled up every time I'm joining. GRRRRRRRRRRRR... I really grieved bitterly my being FOLLY and my being HARD HEADED. Am not that too sensitive of other feelings. I caused them angrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry with HMMMP! pa jud... Now a days, i used to silent while with brethren to avoid his very striking eyes looking at me. "Mora na kog masunog!" And i am reminded of what happen to Badat because of my being irresponsible and stupidity I made her suffer. Time to move on (on other place?),and time to change(location?) this all in my thoughts. For further personal discussion will be in your email.
@zion45 (70)
• United States
7 Jul 08
Hate is a strong word. I do not generally hate anyone. I do have bad feelings toward people and some people I do not like. But to actually hate I cant say that I could do that.
1 person likes this
@wendylb (203)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Good to hear that you don't hate anyone. Yes, HATE is a very strong word. Actually it is written in the Bible. ' But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes. ' - 1John 2:11 ' Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. ' - 1John 3:15. Before i thought murderers were only those who kill physically, but on God's standard I no escape of doing it many times. Thanks to God that he showed me the verse. God bless my friend!
• Philippines
9 Jul 08
It's really hard to overcome feeling of hatred.It also depends on the degree of hatred.Of how deep has the scar left in your heart.I remember when i was in my teens.I had a boyfriend whom our neighbors.When my mom knew about my relationship with that guy,she scolded me and got angry with me.During that time i was blinded by love and because i was very young,i hated my mom because she does'nt want the guy for me.We did'nt talk since we argued.I don't even wanted to see her face,eventhough we live together.I know i'm wrong,and it's true that whatever happens your mom will be there for you.She apologized to me eventhough i am the one who've done wrong.From then i've took away my hatred to my mom.And thankful for her because she guided me althroughout.
1 person likes this