Is MyLot too polite for its own good?

United States
July 10, 2008 6:39pm CST
OK, I'm new here, so I may be WAY off the mark! (I admit that in advance, and encourage you to CHALLENGE me if I'm wrong). But I'm scanning through posts, and it feels like nobody takes a strong stance on any position? I'm not condoning people being jerks, and I strongly appreciate giving every matter a turn on both sides, but where's the passion? Don't get me wrong, I hate it when people take things personally or get angry from an argument, but I can't help but wonder how many people censor themselves to earn cash?? If that's the case, this place isn't for me. SURE, I would like to make some extra money, but my god!! Take a stance!! Please, tell me if I'm wrong! :-) Looking forward to being bested!
19 people like this
42 responses
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I'm sure that there are people here that take a stance as you say. And they may do so with passion. But, from what I have seen here so far, if people get too gung ho, those discussions end up being deleted, which means that the people that did reply only end up losing both points and earnings. There is no winning here, people just give their opinion and move on with Life If I may offer a bit of advice to you, it will be that scanning and not actually reading the posts and the replies therein may give you an abnormal view of the site.
• United States
11 Jul 08
You're probably right about the scanning, and also the topics I'm looking at are pretty mundane! Thanks!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
I definitely agree with you fwidman, people just wants to avoid that deletion. The sad thing is this make the forum a bit boring.
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I wouldn't say boring, really. More educational for me, I enjoy seeing how other cultures view things
1 person likes this
@ocean4 (236)
• Canada
10 Jul 08
Nobody really takes a stance because they just want to earn money. Im not talking about everybody, but some people dont really care about what they post as long as they get paid.
2 people like this
• China
11 Jul 08
I also think so. After all, earning money is most important.
2 people like this
• Romania
11 Jul 08
I don't think that's the case ,because you can take a stance , have an opinion ,having the courage to tell people that they are wrong and still earn the cash. And let's face it: MYLOT IS NOT A JOB!!!! Earning a little money is just a bonus compared with other websites of the same kind.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jul 08
Hehehehe, I might challenge you elsewhere but it won't be on this topic! Not only do I consider MyLot to polite for it's own good, I think it is too polite for anybody's good! Even in the 'heated' religious debates everybody is still so polite it turns my stomach. Call me a jerk if you like... better that than apathetic a$$ kissing politically correct unable to think for myself moron!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
12 Jul 08
I haven't been very polite in the religious discussions I have entered in. I don't care to be polite there, just honest. I am not here to be converted, I don't want to be witnessed to. I don't need to see anybody's light. I'm glad that it gives them what they need in their lives, which is important, but when you think about it, that should make them HAPPY and they should have no more time to worry about MY fate lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jul 08
Hahahaha! I love your sense of humor mommyboo!
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
11 Jul 08
I don't think you have come across the right topics or the right people yet! There are definitely some very opinionated people as members here with some very strong views on a number of topics. From a usage policy perspective though I guess we all have to be mindful of what we can and cannot say as well which by default can soften things a little. I don't feel that I censor myself as such; by nature I am a pretty open minded guy and have had some very interesting exchanges on this site in the past! You like every other member here will eventually find your niche and once you do uncover those members that are a little more "controversial" than the mainstream I am sure you will have a blast! One things is for certain though..... I am certainly not a member of this site for the cash!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 08
I think thats what initially made me leap to the conclusion that this place would be too polite: people are getting paid. Anytime you are being offered money for something you would otherwise enjoy, enjoying it plays less of a factor!
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
13 Jul 08
Nah! Regardless of whether people are getting paid or not; personalities will ultimately shine through. Some good, some arguably bad; but all will be revealed in time and you will find your niche like all of us have. Best of luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
Actually I also see that, not many people now are making a real debate or some argument that will make your mind stumble. When I was new here and that was one and a half a year ago, you can see how the new topics were flowing, lots of ideas are and topics are running, the number of responses can come up to hundreds maybe thousands and the number one factor that keeps this lively community back then are the members who really dares to start a topic that will make you think, that will make you say what is your principle about the subject...members who really have a strong point of view. And yeah, debate, principle, mind blowing topics could mean to some unwanted words and unwanted community atmosphere... so what did mylot did? they made a bunch of notification or some kind of a rule that if saying this saying that could mean to eliminating your discussion which could sum up to deducting some of your earnings. With that reason many users became to neutral with what they are saying and became too cautious. And because of that many user became bored and left the forum. I too, made a long hiatus from this site after that cause most of my favorite user left that left the discussion empty.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 08
I really appreciate your response! My theory is, money's great, but great debate is priceless... I think I'm going to take my chances and aim for a hot-button issue! Thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jul 08
I agree totally about diplomacy in argument! My concern was that there aren't any topics being discussed (diplomatic or not). Since then I have peeked in religion, politics, etc. and I noticed I've been proven wrong, to a degree. I think a couple of the discussions I've noticed tend to just have a lot of people with an extreme view agreeing with each other, but at least its something! LOL
@rebeka (364)
• Romania
11 Jul 08
after 1 year of mylot i camed to a conclusion that u don't have to put much passion arround here because no one care. U'r just loosing energy. There are "communities" that answer to eachother disscusion and that's all.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 08
Aww, that sounds bleak! :-( But thanks for the input!
@eXxodus (204)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I'd have to disagree. I know that at least in the computer/technology fields, I can be pretty polarized when people try to sound like they know what they're talking about but really have no idea. Even with that being said, I know I can be very middle-of-the-road or even to the point of evading the true question at hand if it forces me to take a stance on an issue because in general, I'm a peacemaker. I don't like to offend others, even with the guise of anonymity that the Internet offers. Plus, I've been raised to be polite to others, and this usually carries over onto my posts here on myLot.
• United States
11 Jul 08
No matter how right or left field someone may be, I'm genuinely interested in the polar opposite sides of a discussion because once polar opposites are established I can start to see the entire issue... If that makes any sense? I understand not wanting rubble-rousing, but I also like to see someone take a firm side and defend it respectfully. (which you are absolutely right, often doesn't happen in internet forums). Thanks for the reply!
1 person likes this
10 Jul 08
I'm new here too. This seems alright, I guess. I've seen some interesting views and some comical posts. I think people need to let it all hang out on here. If you can't say what you mean behind a computer when can you say it. I speak my mind no matter where I am if I feel the need.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 08
I agree! Hopefully as we go through we'll get used to the politics of posting opinions while earning cash? :-)
1 person likes this
@capirani (1841)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I will take a stand and have done so on several posts but I pick and choose what discussions I wish to do this with. The reason is not so much about the making of the money, but not wanting to create a battleground. There have been several discussions I started to respond to and thought better of it because it would only stir the pot and I do not believe that taking a stand means stirring up more trouble. I want to use good sense and tact as well as take a stand. If I cannot do it without causing dissention, I will. If I think it will cause more trouble than my post was worth, I won't. I don't post just to be saying something or just to make my voice heard. There is no wisdom in that. I haven't been here very long myself, but I have watched some of the discussions and how people can get nasty with each other, start rating people's topics negatively so that they lose their numbers in their stars, get discussions deleted which affects everyone who posted a response in a negative way point and money wise. Everything you do here seems to touch someone else. Taking a stand needs to be tempered with self-control.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 08
Thanks for the reply, as you can probably tell from my screen name (soooobored) I am here for more than just making money! I'm a Libra so debate is close to my heart. But I do understand the value of tact. Hopefully I can find a way to fill two needs here at once: the first being finding a way to make a little extra cash (as I'm recently unemployed) and the other being more "grown-up discussion" which is something I've missed dearly since graduating college. Thanks again for the thoughtful response!
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jul 08
You are so correct! I am so tired of reading .... " ohhh *****, you are right, the rest of the world is wrong.. hugs and kisses"... I just want to scream - look nut job, get a clue. Reality and your perception do not match! - and why on earth is everyone so damn afraid to tell you this.... Do you think by sucking up that you will earn more money? As long as you are posting and commenting I think that you will earn the same... so find some tack and be honest You should be my friend... I always have an opinion.
1 person likes this
11 Jul 08
Well if you're going to stick around on here and you're someone that likes to take a stance and actually (heaven forbid) discuss things ... i'll keep an eye out for your posts. I understand where you're coming from. I can't help but notice the vast amount of 'discussions' (term used loosely) seem to be a veritable bunch of mundane "what is your favourite X" or "what should i have for dinner". Now i'm pretty sure that MyLot don't consider those to match any of their criteria for a credit-worthy post and yet they sprout up all over the place ;) I'm reminded of the Monty Python sketch about "is this the right room for an argument". Not suggesting arguments are necessary, but debate breeds discussion and vice-versa. I generally go for topics that i understand and can tell they would have some kind of depth so most of my responses are lengthy and thought out. One of my friends posted a serious discussion about the cost of pertrol and got 3 responses (1 being a person saying "i dont really know, have a nice day" ... what a waste). Yet there are 67 responses to "what colour are your shoes?". I sense alot of people are just trying to get in as many responses as possible, but as far as i can understand that remiss tactic is hardly productive either monetary or mentally. All the best Matt
1 person likes this
@momalisa65 (1983)
• United States
11 Jul 08
Yea, if you say things that cause everyone to dislike you, then you won't have the friends you need to respond to your discussions. You need friends to converse with to make money. You can still say what you think, but you can learn how to say it in a nice enough way....tactfully.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 08
I do try to turn down my disagreements to keep them appropriate but I don't agree with things I don't believe in.
1 person likes this
@greysfreak (1385)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I think that sometimes we like to be safe, not start fights--and that is a good thing. But I am a believer in saying what I think in the nicest way possible. That is just my nature, I hate conflict, so I try my best to stay away from areas that breed conflict. But I have posted in discussions that were more sensitive areas, and I have been so relieved to find that everyone seems to respect other people here. That is not always the case, but most the time it it. Have I ever disagreed with something I read here? Of course, but I don't directly disagree with a person or tell them they are wrong, because I don't think anyone is wrong. I may think to myself "that is so dumb" from time to time, but when I really think about it I realize that these are just opinions, not facts. We all have our own opinions and that is a great thing. At times I actually take a little too much stock in other people's opinions, but I really try not to, because if I did, well, I would probably feel offended sometimes. I definitely think that there is a lot of holding back from time to time. But for me, when I really get into the swing of things and I am posting about something that I really care about or something I believe strongly in, I tend to put all my opinions out there on the topic, but put it in words that I hope will not offend, because I don't think anything has to be offensive, it's just the way some people phrase things. Especially since this is the internet and we can't hear tone of voice. Anyway, you are definitely not wrong, that is what you have seen in the time you have been here. Once you've been here a while and have written more and seen more responses, you may see it differently, but you definitely aren't wrong. I know when I first got active here a few weeks ago I felt a bit nervous about being open and sharing my opinions, because I was afraid people would trip out on me or something, but really I have learned that people are fairly accepting, they may not agree, but most the time they are very respectful about it.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13197)
• United States
11 Jul 08
You are wrong =) I have some pretty passionate responses which may have even earned me negatives from people who disagree with me. This isn't of course an acceptable reason for rating people negatively but there are trolls here that do things like that just to be jerks. I don't agree with censorship, not from one person to another based on opinions. People have the CHOICE to filter in or filter out things they do or do not want, and that is always a choice. By the way, I have found this to be a super site, full of engaging, friendly, quirky people and fantastic discussions. Some of the ones I have gotten more testy have been in the field of religion because I am a firm advocate of 'freedom FROM religion' as well as 'freedom OF religion' which are of course two different things yet integrated. Enjoy mylot, I am glad I was referred here!
• United States
11 Jul 08
A disagreement from readers may not hurt if it help the one that the comment was dirrected for. And as far as sensorship. And person to person opions. Mylot writer ask for personel opions and advice, and there is no other way to advise them other than peron to person. I wouldnt want to hurt any ones feels.
• United States
11 Jul 08
I think it would take a lot for me to ever give someone a negative rating (if I ever learn how to, that is!) Probably so long as the poster is respectful they can obviously disagree with me all they want and I'll take it. Half the point of a discussion is to hear the opposing viewpoint!! So no worries from me, I won't give you any negative stars :-)
@myklj999 (33202)
• Olney, Illinois
13 Jul 08
You evidently haven't been in the same conversations as me. While I will agree many people here will stay away from the more controversial subjects, there are those of us here that don't really care what everyone thinks of us and will gladly tell you exactly what we think on any subject (if we have an opinion.) Of course, I'm not here to earn cash; I also am not here to earn any stars (they did that in school, I didn't like it then either); I'm here to tell everyone my view on things and why I must be right (unless of course someone proves me wrong).
• United States
13 Jul 08
hehehe, I'll look for some of your posts then!
@wooitsmolly (3613)
• United States
11 Jul 08
Tell me about it. Express an opinion around here and you will be torn apart. Ask for opinions and you will get polite answers from people who are afraid to express what they really think.
@myklj999 (33202)
• Olney, Illinois
13 Jul 08
Now molly, when's the last time I was polite to you?
1 person likes this
@jahrock (111)
11 Jul 08
Well you asked, so I hope you can live with some answers. MYLOT offers us the chance to have discussions or conversations, and of course they try to make sure that we don't actually get into slanging matches. That immediately creates a conflict of interests, because many people think debate has to be all fire and brimstone, while others take the view that we should be able to have conversation without perpetual conflict. Next point? how absolutely boring is it to call yourself SOOOOBORED? Are you trying to present a face that is so bored or boring that nobody will take you seriously enough to have a conversation? or is it that you're using reverse psychology so that we all feel so sorry for you that we rush in....as in the old song about fools rush in? If you really want debate and to find people taking a stance, rush over to politics....make it one of your interests, and I'm sure you will find enough people and topics to keep you happy. You could also give us a list of the things that you feel passionate about, even if only to check whether that may inspire some replies to stir your interest.
• United States
11 Jul 08
Thanks for the input, I had a feeling my name was a bit off-putting! I'll be honest, I joined because I was "soooobored" and a friend sent me the link, I kind of just wanted to check it out and get her referral money. But now I could be "sooooamused" I guess, this site has a lot of potential! Thanks!
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I think You should tell people when there is a subject that needs to be addressed. You souldnt be weak about your remarks, and if you have to be a jerk then so be it. Sometimes that may be the only way you can help people, or get through to them. But you can still have tact. I'm new here also. I think if your response is not from the heart, and not what you truly feel, then why even take the time. Its not all about the money. Is it?
• United States
11 Jul 08
I get what your saying, whats the point of weighing in on a discussion if what you are saying carries no weight? But as I'm going through the responses here, I'm finding that there are areas where you can find strong debates, you need to funnel by topic. Good luck, enjoy!
@etnad0 (230)
• United States
11 Jul 08
you should check out my post on people going to hell. LMAO now that's a heated discussion.
• United States
11 Jul 08
I will, thanks!