How can i forgive the one that killed my child?

HUGS. They say, when something like this or an abuse happens, forgiving is taboo. It's hard to forgive someone on something esp. with losing someone whom you loved eternally. All I want to say is that it is ok not to forgive. Crap to all those who would cite some quotations from the bible or from wise guys about forgiveness. Right now, in your heart, you know that forgiveness for that person has no space, and it would not give you the sense of justice. I support you with how you feel.

First of all, let me please just say to you that I am so, so sorry that this happened to your son and your family. This is such a tragic story and drives home the point that such violence is so stupid and so senseless. That someone would take a life over something so stupid as an argument at a club...I think it says something about our society and how little value we place on life. What he did is unforgivable, in my opinion. No amount of "sorry" is going to bring that child back. He wants to feel better about what he did by getting your forgiveness. He doesn't have the right to feel better about anything. He should have to live with the knowledge that he destroyed more than one life and he should have that weight on his shoulders for the rest of his. My son is my world. He is my very reason for existence and I pray to God each day that he is never taken from me. If it were me, there would be no place in my heart for forgiveness. Maybe I'm just not that good a person. There would be room for hatred and vengeance, but forgiveness would be a long time in coming. I would want him to see my child's face every day, so he never forgets. I would show up for all of his parole hearings and emphatically voice any opposition to him being released. No, forgiveness would not be something that is in me. If it would bring you peace, and you feel it's within you, then by all means forgive. If the pain is still too raw, then let him know how you feel. He should have to shoulder that burden.

Honestly, I say pretend to forgive him, and jail his @$$ for as long as possible, but do it discreetly so he doesn't hold a grudge against you. His parents should be sterilized, and he should be jailed for life. His parents suck, and he doesn't deserve to roam the streets. If his parents were doing their job, this never would have happened, I'm sorry for your loss. -Chris

I am so sorry for your lose. How you agreed to see this boy is beyond me you are a very brave woman, if you decide to forgive this boy it is your decision and your decision alone no one can help you. At the moment you are still grieving and will for a long time to come, it is an horrendous crime and i hope he serves his full time a young age or not. my thoughts are with you and i wish you all the best for the future and hope you find peace of mind.

That is such a hard question, that brought me to tears. I agree with whoever said to pray for God to help you forgive. I don't think I could do it on my own, it would take divine intervention. With God all things are Possible. I believe the prayers of a Mother are so Powerful. Just as we are Gods Children and he Love us perfectly. Hope I helped somehow. God Bless You and Your Family. After reading your update, I sure hope the Guy/Girl was caught. And again I think only divine intervention can help you forgive, That was an intentional thing. And it should teach us all a lesson on road rage. I'm sure most of us have been on both sides of road rage. Maybe not to this extreme. I know I'm going off your original question some. But someones life can be saved by you sharing this..God Bless !!

I sure can understand your pain to a degree. You lost a child. I lost a mother. It's not easy to accept sometimes. I have a different circumstance than you. My mother was accidentally run over in what I would call the prime of her life at age fifty-nine. I was angry at first. It didn't take me too long to forgive. I never met the woman that killed her. I feel bad for your situation. It seems so senseless. If that man your speaking of feels he wants your forgiveness maybe he is really sincere.

Very sad story for sure... It makes a person wonder what really goes threw these kind of peoples heads that do this kind of stuff, Jealousy, hate what I don't know.. If this was my child, I don't think I would ever be able to forgive someone for taking his life for no reason.. I am not a hateful person or anything like that, I am actually a very sincere kind and willing to help anyone, I mean ANYONE in need.. If this would be my child and I don't think there would be anything anyone could do to take the pain away from this.. No money in the world nothing.. And deep down even if I could forgive the person which I know I couldn't I would never be able too... I think what it is, is that he wants to be at peace and he shouldn't be able too I know that sounds harsh but it's going to haunt him for the rest of his life if you don't give him forgiveness.. He made this choice not you or anyone else... God bless you and your family and I am deeply sorry for your loss...

This is so sad... =( Would forgiving him lessen the pain you feel? Or at least help you sleep at night? If you answer yes, you can start the process of forgiving but it won't be easy and it definitely won't be automatic. I can understand what you're feeling. If you're the type to pray, now is the time to do so. If not, you can talk to people (even us) to help you tough out this rough area. I hope things will get better for you...

My condolences to you for the lost of your son. That's tough, I'm not sure I could forgive. I know some people say that if you are able to forgive, you then can have closure. But that was your son, this person is still alive, even though he was only seventeen, he still has a full life ahead of him. He will probably get out of prison, when he is still a young man. Your heart will let you know what you should do, follow your heart. May God bless you and your family

I think it is up to you to forgive him for yourself if you need to for you.The heck with him he should never think he is forgiven.You however have to go through a grieving process and there is a lot of stages to go through.I n the end one of those stages may be for you to forgive so you can carry on.His family has to go through a grieving process of their own and I don't think your forgiveness will make a difference for them in their grieving anyway.Let him live with what he did you don't owe him anything.Take care of your self,get some grief counseling. I wish you well,and am so sorry for your loss. Jas

I wouldn't be able to forgive someone for killing my child. Matter of fact, given the opportunity I'd take their life for it. I'm sure others will disagree with what I feel, but that is how I feel on the matter. Nope, no way would they earn my forgiveness.

I am very sorry to hear that and it is a disaster to happen to your kid I am with you to not forgive the one who kill our son, because even if you forgive him God will not forgive him what ever he do. I just want to say something for you and I hope you will no upset from me, but when you see other disaster's you will understate your disaster. This disaster I want to tell you about is for a crime that done by some American soldiers in my country (Iraq) they have to rape a 11 years old girl and then kill her with all her family and then burn them, I am sure if you have check the internet for this news you will know all the details about it, the soldiers have been charged with this crime but I think the verdict have been stopped. What I want to say that the disaster that happen to this family their relatives can not do anything to the criminals. And for your disaster you can know who kill your son and the criminal get his punish. I hope you have the power to live your life and God bless you my dear.

I understand it would be hard for you to forgive him.I feel for you.Its not easy to lose a child.It must be so painful for you.We are just human, you may can't forgive yet or only time can tell but you can tell him to ask forgiveness to the Lord.I know he was bothered by his conscience.He has no right to end anyone's life only God can.

As a mother and a grandmother, my heart aches for you. My son is the light of my life, and if someone took his life, I do not know that I could forgive that person. I know, everyone says that forgiveness is good for the soul, but I just don't know that I could. It would be a real struggle for me, and it sounds like it is for you also. Do what your heart tells you, and may God Bless you.

I am so sorry to hear the loss of your son. I know it was very hard for you to overcome the terms of losing your son. Let's put it this way: even though the killer has said he wants to say sorry to you, you can only forgive him when you are ready and make sure you do not have any anger towards him because there is nothing you can do. Let the justice serve him the sentence of what he has done to your son. I know it is still painful for you and hard to forget this moment but I hope you can take as much time as you want to get over the hardest situation. Cheers and take care.

I can't even imagine forgiving under these circumstances. I know that it would be the right thing to do but I think it would take a long, long time. Did this really happen to you? If so, I am so sorry for your loss. I think would be a bit consoled to know that the man had remorse and wanted forgiveness. That would help and be so much easier to deal with {as some do} the anger towards those that feel absolutely none. It would be a good first step. I think I'd have to tell him that I need more time. You need time to grieve and you should not be feeling pressured to forgive. When and if forgiveness finds it's way to your heart, you will know it. Don't just let him think that you forgive if in your heart you still haven't. doing so will only be relieving his guilt and nothing more.

It's really painful for a mother to loss his child in an unreasonable situation like that. Maybe that man is really serious to ask for forgiveness. Well If you can forgive him why not. He's now in jail, bothered by his conscience for killing an innocent boy. Even you forgive this man, he will be guilty for his entire life.

my god punish that man with no mercy.

wow... I first of all, I am VERY sorry that this happened to your family... it is tragic. I think that if it is in your heart , then you can do it... if you think he is sorry (even though I know that does not even come close to cutting it), if you see that he is devastated also by what he has done... then maybe if you can believe he is sorry then that will help you forgive him... but if he is showing no regrets then I could not blame you for not being able to forgive him just yet.... it takes time... I hope things get better for you.

That's too painful... I can't imagine that I can forgive the person. I don't know if forgiveness would really heal the pain... But in the bible it says that we should learn to forgive...Time will tell...