Now Here's A REAL Serious Topic~~Snicker, Snicker

pye oh my this really happened to me at work a year ago. Ihad just come from my lunch and was shelving books in the kids side, I worked in the local library, when I felt this rumble and then I let it go, couldnt stop it. loud and smelly in a crowded really quiet library. A little boy about seven laughed hysterically, the little creep, and poked his mom, that lady let out a fart haha aha haha. and she also went haha ah ahd. I scowled at the kid and he turned red, and said something I did not hear. she spoke to him very softly, he came over and said, I am sorry Lady. He couldnt look at me but he did apologize,andI said very softly thank you. then I went into the clerks office and got a smallsheetof paper and wrote thank you on it and handed it to the mom. she smiled and nodded her head. guess we sort of came out even on that little rumble.lol lol lol.

I have found lately that they do not plague me, until I am leaving a place of employment for the day, then I joyfully "quack" all the way to the car, while no one is walking in hearing distance. I got snuck up on tonight at work, out to eat with my mentally handicapped clients, but luckily, at the same time I coughed rather loudly. None of this was on purpose, but I do hope it was camouflage.

I have been pretty lucky on that one as I didnt used to be very gassy but now they sneak out with out warning. . Oh boy am I glad for the nosies of a casino!

Pyewacket, what did you feed your mommy today that caused a severe back up of gasses forcing her to post this discussion? I was walking through the neighborhood about an hour ago and herd a violent explosion and wondered what caused the leaves on all the lopsided trees to engulf in flames - now I know! Bad kitty!!!

Yesterday one of the dogs was farting. Not just your average doggie fart, you see -- the day before she had gotten into some bagels and bread, and dogs can't do carbs! Poor Dela had major indigestion going on, and it was fire outta both ends. Her belches reeked of rotten bread, and her farts, well...if she had cheeks they would've been Olympic-sized slappers. A certain group of my friends are able to let 'er rip around one another. Sometimes we congratulate each other on the decibels. Other times we run screaming. Years ago, I was sitting on my friend's hardwood floor and whatever I let out, it shook so much that her dad woke up. My girlfriend gets artistic -- she'll incorporate high-kicks to coincide with the noise. Clever! Usually though, hers are scary, low rumbles with two tones at the same time.

Oh, this is great!!! In my family, "the gas we pass" is not just noxious, but often toxic!! My poor mother, who will be 92 in December, has ALWAYS been purveyor of poofs. Believe me, once they escaped, they developed a life of their own! Walking into a room unawares was like walking into an invisible mustard cloud!! Once she started taking medication for emphysema, they got worse because many of the meds are supported by a lactose base - and she's lactose intolerant. She will walk down the hall leaving a trail of toots and squeaks as she goes - we had a recent house-guest who said my mother "sounded the alarm" when she got up in the morning. She said she had to put the pillow to her face to keep from laughing out loud because Mom stopped walking with her walker, bent over, "blew the whistle" and then continued into the bathroom. There is no escape in some situations if they surprise you, though. All you can do is move on and act as though it wasn't you. But, in an interview - thankfully, not yet. A belch - yes - don't know where it came from, but I couldn't stop it. Didn't get the job, either. Very glad that's all it was, though. Here's a link to a stinking video done by an actor friend of mine (a Jersey boy, too). I think you'll get a real charge out of it!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_w2Y1Qbawc

Yes, this is a funny topic. I hold them in anytime I'm in public and fortunately, it doesn't happen too often anyway.

My wife and her best friend haver labeled the soap and perfume aisle in stores like Walmart and the dollar store as the fart aisle. If they feel a touch of the gas coming on they head for the all ready fragrant aisles to let off the noxious fumes and hope that they are well disguised buy the sweet scents that are all ready there. I honestly have never had the problem during an interview or any thing of that nature. I once had an employee that let one go in one of my trucks and it took three weeks to get rid of the stench.

If you're in a public situation and surrounded by people, and we let a silent but deadly one go, we can always pick some innocent victim, glare at them giving the others in the room or place the idea that they did it instead of you. (Confess haven't you ever done that?) I DON'T!!! I like to very loudly blame either my husband or one of my kids...its more fun As for a loud one that is OBVIOUSLY from me...LOL depending on the situation I might say "oh oh my I'm so sorry" OR if I'm feeling cheeky I'll say with a very straight face "whoop thats a rotten p00p honkin for the right of way" or some other joke....OR I might still blame it on one of my kids or my husband...

LOL! I love this post hon! I will do my level best when out in public to hold it in, to the point of pain until I can get back home, or at least somewhere where no one is around. But if one does slide out, I make a beeline for an area AWAY from where I let rip. Now my hubby on the other hand, is very proud of his flatulence. So proud in fact that he scares me. Hahaha! And the louder the better. And who does he blame it on? Not the barking spiders....on ME! One of these days I will let go of the "fart shyness" and I will pay him back BIG time! LOL

I try to hold mine in till it comes out my ears. Heehee. I do not care if I am at home with my husband but when we have company or if we are out I squeeze those cheeks in as hard as I can. If I have to let it out I go into the ladies room and hope no one is in there also.

this story may not answer to your discussion, but let me share with you anyways.. i live in a society that believes that there are ghosts and bad spirits.. and many times beautiful women 'appearing' out of nowhere, in the middle of nite.. accompanied with 'strong' smells are usually 'signs of ghosts'... (most of the stories we hear are like that).. anyway the story i want to share goes like this... one late night, a security personnel working in a 'newly opened' office building was doing his rounds checking all the floors on the building.. as he was entering the lift at the 20th. floor.. a beautiful lady came out from one the offices, asked to wait for her.. together they took the lift going the groundfloor.. while in the lift.. the security personnel stole glances at this beautiful lady, wondering why was she alone at the office at such late hours... while admiring, and appreciating her good looks at the same time, of course.. then suddenly.. there was a very, very, 'strong' smell... the man suddenly remembered about the 'ghost stories' where beautiful lady + strong smell are usually 'ghosts in disguise'.. he felt goosebumps all over his body.. the smell was unbearable.. he is about to faint.. then... 'Excuse me'... the 'lady' called out to him.. the man dare not open his eyes.. fearing he'll see a ghost... 'Excuse me... please forgive me... but.. i really could hold it anymore.. i have been tummy-ache all day... do excuse the foul smell.. my fart normally dont smell this bad.....'... 'HUH ??'... the man was sooooo confused.. well.. he didnt whether to laugh or to scream... but he really couldnt wait to get out of the lift... * Point of the story - good looking people fart just the same like 'normal people'.. and chances are their fart is much more 'fatal' than others. and.. Farts.. Mute or With Sound Effects.. are just embarassing... cheers !!

It is totally depending on who i am with.If i am with family and i can't help but let it off.....jokingly i will pick on the youngest present in the group.But if it's real big,strange public i would make a good excuse of going to the bathroom.Probably on the way and if nobody is around i'll start to expel that bad gas.I also try holding it,but the feeling was really painful,my tummy feels bloated and i can't move normally.But once all the air has been released....wow such a big relief.

of course you try to hold it. as i answered in anotrher conversation on here about most embarrassing moment. but if you try to hold it and cant possibley, have you ever noticed it really does make a loud noise then. awful!!

I have not farted for years... Actually since I was told that those gases contributed to the green house effect and the climate change. So if you want to do the right thing to save our planet... you will stop farting right now and promise to never fart again. It is actually not that difficult to control. All it requires is an healthy balanced diet. Farting is usually caused by eating too much of one thing... or eating something your body is not use to eat. For instance... if you don't eat much vegetables... and one day someone cooks you a great meal with lots of yummy vegetable... that will do it. Your body will adapt to any food on a regular basis... but not overnight.

As one of my friends used to say, "The smeller's the feller." If you point it out first, I'm thinking the blame is layed at the person's feet. What gets me is going down an aisle as one person hurriedly exists the same same aisle. As you proceed down said aisle, you realize why that person hurried off. They left something that is invisible, but has staying power all the same, the S.B.D., silent but deadly.

First I have to say thanks for the belly laughs reading you and all the others, I thought I was going to die. Of course my kids thought I had lost it. I read it between gasps and giggles and we discovered that my daughter is a butt check squeezer I am a lets cough and hope it isnt louder then my cough or smelly .. lol I have tooted in the store of course holding until we are in a part that I saw noone, wouldnt ya know it it stank and someone walked around the corner, yeah I blamed my daughter! lol

Fortunately, I dont seem to be very fart prone so I ahvent faced that dilemma many times. If I do find myself in a fart type situation i usually try to put some distance between myself and the victims. I want to have a kindeer gentler farting experience. That way no one will really be clear on where the odor problem is coming from.

Hi Pye..I just laugh it off we are humans and have to let excess air out of our bodies whats wrong with that? If it was an interview I would apologise but their reaction isn't one of disgust they too can see the funny side of it-soon like cows we will have to wear bags to catch the fumes if things go on the way they are littleowl

Oh no not the whole of the human species, I often have my hubby informing me that the majority of his workmates tell him that they have never heard their wives fart in years and years of marriage. Indeed most of them rush off to the bathroom to fart, and I remember my hubby trying to tell me that it is what I should do too! My answer to that, well of course I just cocked my backside and let it answer for itself. My hubby only wanted me to go to the bathroom to do it because I can do louder and better ones than him and he does not think its fair, and now my 2 year daughter has joined in and she can rip em out too! The only difference is she is not ashamed to do it in public and then loudly announce to whoever is listening "I farted". Me, I do have some decorum and will hold it in until I can get to a place that is not crowded, sometimes though it is a pain when I get a sneeze and then I have no chance.