A friend's girlfriend is so jealous that she is trying to ruin our friendship

United States
July 17, 2008 11:22pm CST
I am 44 years old. I never in a million years thought that I would be dealing with an issue that I haven't had to deal with since high school. I play in a band with a good friend and his girlfriend, who is in her 50's, is so threatened by me that she keeps making up lies about me, telling him that I do and say things I didn't do or say, she even told him I stole from her. All of this because she is insecure. This guy is the most trustworthy guy any girl could find. He is completely loyal to her, and I am not a threat. The problem is that he is in denial and wants to believe that she wouldn't lie. I hate to say this because he is my friend and I love him, but if I wasn't in a band with him, I don't think I would want anything to do with him just because of her. Have any of you experienced this? What would you do?
1 person likes this
2 responses
sid556
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I dated a man that did not like any of my friends....they were all a threat to him in his mind. If i would have listened, he would have had me believing that everyone I knew was out to use me, rip me off, lie to me on and on. He once got upset that I agreed to let my close friend's 13 year old son come over early in the morning to catch his school bus from my house.Because I work nites and it was extremely early when he'd be arriving, I gave her a house key and told her to have him let himself in and make himself at home. I'd known the kid since he was a toddler. He got all wound up and thought this kid could maybe rape me or my daughter. It was all too ridiculous. He also made up stories about my friends.Needless to say, I got done with him rather quick. You need to have a heart to heart with your friend. Obviously she has some issues and is trying to control his life. Some of the problem lies with him....he is allowing it. You are his friend and he should know you better than that. I am 52 and to be honest, i outgrew that jealous, controlling thing back in my 20's. I don't dish it out and I won't take it. I think your friend is being very disloyal to you who has been his friend longer. show him this thread. If he doesn't smarten up.....she will be his ONLY friend....and that is probably just what she wants.
FitCoachJess
@FitCoachJess (278)
• United States
18 Jul 08
You are so right. Her goal is to get him alone and for her to be his only friend. Unfortunately, she has been there long before I came along. They almost broke up because of her craziness, but now she has him convinced that it is all some medication issue and everything is going to be fine now. This woman is THE most calculating, lying, crazy person I think I have ever met. Talking to him would be great, but he gets so defensive of her. It is almost like his whole world would come crashing down if he actually admitted to himself that she lies to him, which she does on a daily basis. I know that if it weren't me, it would be someone else. But there is no talking to him about her. Honestly, right now, I don't feel like he is even a friend. He can't even ask ME what really happened. He just blindly believes her. They have a relationship that I wouldn't want. She even lives in another state and she has so much control over him it is sickening. It is hard to defend myself over what I don't even know. It seems to be something new all the time. I'm tired of it all. I feel like I'm fighting with a ghost, if that makes any sense. I'm not fighting anymore. If he is really a friend, he will have to figure it out. I just hope, for his sake, that it is not 20 years from now and he is regretting his whole life because he trusted that crazy woman. Again, If I weren't in the band with him, I would have nothing to do with him at all. There is nothing I can do if he won't hear me. Don't get me wrong, I care. I just can't fix this. Thank you for your reply!
Ladyjeans
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
10 Mar 12
Try to be friend to the girl so she will also know you in personal, so when she already know your personal characteristic and when she already become your friend she will not get jealous because she's already your friend. I also experience that situation. I have a classmate,he is a guy,we are always together and i always sending text massage to each other when there are school activity. Her girlfriend from other school get jealous on me,so i just try to talk to her and tell her that me and her boyfriend are just friends.