How do you critize others without hurting their feelings?

To begin with, you should really only criticize someone if you have a close relationship with them where they trust you and respect you. Then the best way is to bring it up over a private conversation allowing a discussion to ensue. I had to do this with a friend of mine. We went for dinner and discussed his problem. He was aware of it and was working hrad to change. The big thing is that if you are going to bring up a criticism to someone, then offer solutions to the person.

Hi nengs, We have this constructive criticisms...I believed when it is said well, with a lot of sincerity and gentleness, it will be very fine to hear, accept and realized from it..But, when the person who is telling is to us is very insensitive and inconsiderate of our feeling, we will be hurt for sure... In my case, let's say, my friend invited us in a party an hour before it will start,,,for me it's not good considering it weekend, we have different plan! So, I told her, I appreciate and happy for the invitation but we can't make it due to this and that....and my criticism will be: I appreciate better if next time we will be informed earlier..with all the softness of the voice! lOL!

Most of the time, criticisms become unacceptable not so much because of what was actually said (content) but HOW it was said or delivered. The real criticism, meaning what was done or said wrong, is usually not as offensive. But the way people hand out criticisms is the root why the recipient's feelings are hurt. I take offense because of the manner a criticism is given, but accept graciously when it is pointed out to me and a solution or alternative is offered. And I have to admit that sometimes, I too am guilty of being offensive when I criticize someone.

I try to be general letting the person know that it's a certain behaviour that I have a problem with, and not that person personally. I tell them that I would have the problem regardless of who was involved.

Critizing should be done gently. You don't start off by critizing you talk about other things and then gently bring up what it is you are critizing. The thing about it is you never know how a person is going to react to your critizism. The first thing is only critize if you know the person well. You don't have to be best friends but have some kind of connection with the person. With me yes it hurts somewhat but I always look at it as they are trying to help me out. I never feel bad about the person.

Well, you can always start with this phrase. " I expected better from you". I think this is the best way to break a disagreement to a person. You could tell them that you expected that it would be done this way and it would have seemed better. bourne