;mutters to self;

Wow, someone's been ticking you off. My philosophy when my kis were tots was that as long as they weren't still in diapers or carrying their bottle and pacifier in their backpacks when they started school, they were doing fine. I also hated and still hate the way some women treat others, especially new mothers, like they don't know anything or that their children are in a developmental competition. I guess some people don't have anything else to do but stick their noses in someone else's business. Hope you feel better.

OMG, I feel ya. I have 5 kids. My first was born in 1987. I got soooo much advice from all sorts of people who had the best intentions, but I wished they would just shut the phuck up. my second was born in 1983. I got different advice from different people and i still wanted to tell them to shut the phuck up. I now have 5 kids, but I'm not so young anymore and I don't mind telling people to shut the phuck up. LOL. The bottom line is that parenting is a trial and error type of existance. There is no owner's manual. Every kid is different. I think you said both of these. Only a parent knows their own kid. Only a parent knows what works for their kid. My oldest would get upset if I told him I was disappointed. My youngest will tell me I don't love her if I tell her I am disappointed so I must resort to something else. NO ONE can advise me on this. This is my business because I, and my husband, know our kids. I do understand your frustration. My only advice is to do what you are doing, for that is best. Ignore the backseat drivers. they are often trying to compensate for their own problemed children. That's not to say the problem children are the parents fault...Damm, I don't know. Just go with your heart and your mind and all will be fine. My oldest is 21 and married and has a good job. THere was a time when I thought that he wouldn't graduate high school. Every child matures. what you do and how you feel matters. But they have to find their own way. Don't sweat the armchair coaches. They don't know your kids.

Several discussions have spun off of a discussion from the other day, which I read but didn't respond too. For one, I would have agreed with most that posted, I don't think that person was a 'bad' parent, but a 6 year old with a baby bottle, come on, it's not healthy for her first off, and secondly, God forbid that any of her classmates find out, as we all know children can be cruel. Now, I'm not sure why anyone got upset or got their nose out of joint over the responses to that discussion. The person who posted the discussion ASKED for advice about that topic! She didn't state that 'I like my 6 year old having a baby bottle' She asked for everyone's input on the subject, AND that's what she got, everyone's opinion!

Just to add to this Tessa what also makes people think they have the right to suddenly touch your belly when your pregnant before the baby is even born, this used to really P me off when they just did and never asked. Like Foxyfire says if advice is ASKED for fine but if not back off. My son was a late walker and even at four although quite bright doesn't speak well yet but can make himself understood. I had eveyone telling me he needed speech therapy and when I finally went and got him tested he is fine for his age is just others are clearer with certain sounds, he says bloody bee instead of buzzy bee, tank you instead of thank you but he'll get there. Every child delvelops at their own pace in their own individual way. Hope you feel better now thats all out. Ellie :D

I've been reading all these discussions relating to this one and I have to say I agree with a lot of what has been said. First off it is very annoying when people try to tell you, your child should be doing this or that at whatever age. I have had 2 children, my first, my son is now 2 1/2 and I can't even begin to tell you all the "advice" I got when he didn't walk until 15-16 months and he didn't talk until just recently and now he's not into the potty training thing at all. I've just let him do things at his pace, I could care less about other's kids and when they did things. Now with my second, my daughter who is now 9 months, she was born 6 weeks early and I'm so tired of people saying "there's no way she's that old, she's too small" and "she isn't crawling yet". Kids will do things at their own pace and I think they should be encouraged not forced to do anything by a certain age. However, I don't agree with a child at the age of 6 still having a bottle, ALTHOUGH I do think that people should of been encouraging her ways to help get him off of it rather than telling her how wrong or bad of a parent. That I DONOT agree with. I don't feel you are a bad parent when this kind of thing is going on, you may just not have found the right way to deal with certain things. I think she should of been giving ways to help not reasons it is wrong. Well except that it is very bad for their teeth, but I don't think that necessarily makes them a bad parent. Also especially for a first time parent it can be really hard when you have to deal with making them unhappy....hence breaking them from things. Everyone has their own views on children and I think rather than telling someone that what their doing is wrong try to help them change it if they want to with tactics and techniques.........not degrading them! At least they have their kids, haven't physically hurt them or dumped them on the side of the road....or like a lot of parents are doing these days, killed them!!

I applaud you, tessah. You are absolutely right, there are no absolute specifics when raising children. I think the main thing is to raise them to be compassionate, passionate, and well rounded, happy human beings. How you do it is entirely dependent on what you feel is best for your child.

Although I agree with you that NO ONE has the right to judge the parenting habits or skills of another, personally, as far as the subject under discussion is concerned, I don't think it's good for a child to be kept on a bottle or soother as a means of pacification to make Mom's life easier. That smacks to me like using the tv to babysit your kids instead of getting actively involved with them. But I know from experience that some kids reach their milestones at different times. Not all kids can be judged from a generic criteria. And as we can NEVER know the whole story behind every kid we see, we do not have the right to judge the parent because we see something we don't approve of, unless of course it's outright physical abuse in which case I'd be the first one to slap mom upside the head, but that's a whole different discussion. lol