Did you grow up in a house where everyone argued?

My parents did argue quite a bit when I was growing up. It was hid from people from church. I was raised in a baptist church. Also my dad did try to give me a hard time at times. He would pick on me because I had and still have a weight problem. So I understand from partly where you are coming from. It wasn't like I didn't get picked on at school already. He would say oh I am just joking with you.

My family didn't really argue (only remember one from my childhood), but the nit-picking drove me crazy. I'm still trying to get over that after 50 years.

Oh that is so sad for you, I grew up in a very loving home and i couldn't imagine how a small child could cope with being around argueing as it would be so scary i think, I think the best thing a parent can give their children is a happy childhood...

Yes, i did. And it affected me psychologically. But the irony of it is, I am a very quiet person. I don't argue. When i am angry, i don't speak. And when i am in the middle of the crowd, I don't talk much.

Fortunately not,we had parents who were mindful that it was wrong to argue in front of the children,and they kept their rows for the times that were private to themselves.I would say that they often had cross words,but that is normal,everyone does that.I rarely ever heard my Father swear or curse,and I never heard my mother utter a curse either.We were taught a lot,the way to do certain household jobs,how to change a fuse,how to tell the time,how to tie the shoelaces,and clean shoes,my mother taught us how to knit and sew,and we were taught how to care for our pets.The family had its ups and downs like any other family,but it was a caring and loving environment.

my childhood was really bad dad beating me and my mum up everyone always argues and stuff they still do now but i no longer live there thankgod mum booted dad two years ago but yer i do feel worthless and some days i dont feel loved even tho ive got a gorgeous one year old and a boyfriend that looks after us but recently he strangled me its like am i destined to be abused all my life?

I grew up in a house where everyone talked behind each others' backs. No arguments really ensued, because no one would ever stay in the same room. I know that my mom and dad must have at one time been loving and affectionate to one another, but I do not remember it at all.

When I was growing up I argued with my brother and sister some nut I mostly avoided them when something came up that I disagreed with. I also had a father that made me feel worthless. I was called an idiot and stupid and told that I would never amount to anything. Now I see my children starting to argue a lot. It makes me think of my bad experiences as a child and try to resolve their problems so they will not fight with each other. I agree that the critism does not help and only harms the child. And it is really good that you are trying to raise your daughter in a positive atmosphere.

Hi beautyqueen, [i]That is very sad! Great that you were able to overcome and you are imposing a healthy environment for your kids! I grew up with a very loving and supportive as well as peaceful family and when my cousins will visit us before, they feel so amaze that no one will act like an alarm clock in the morning talking and blaming everyone why they are still on bed, blah blah blah..LOL! Since their moms are very nagger and as early as 5 am, they will start to have their daily novena..LOL! My Parents are different..We will not hear them complaining and everyone also was responsible so, we always have a very smooth and wonderful atmosphere in the house![/i]

My husband and I both did. It did a lot of damage to us both but in different ways. He went on to prove them wrong. For example, his step dad told him he'd never mount to anything and wouldn't make it through basic training in the army. Well not only did he make it through basic but spent 27 years in the army and became an E-8 which is next to the highest rank you can be as an enlisted. He's also went to college and got certified for air conditioning and heat repair. He's a problem solver as well and can think very well for himself. As for me, I retreated inside. I became abusive to my own self in many ways and was critized for that but in the end when I finally met my wonderful caring sweet husband, all of that changed. I still don't like to be around people or a lot should I say but I'm better than I was before. Hubby and I both are reclusive people but he can be around crowds better than I can because he can hear and I can't. For me to be around crowds is like too much information going on for my brain to take in at once.

well,my parents never really "argued" if they did i never saw it. because the one gave up to asily for the sake of not fighting. BUT name calling. i did get called a few names growing up when i was young when my father would get mad hed be like you ittle bit~h or you little who~e when i was still a virgin LMAO. i just took it as that what he did when he got mad. i just let it roll off my back i never like held it aginst him or whatever. But the one thing i wonder now is my parents never had a stable rasing the kids plan.. if my dad said no to somting. i could go to my mom and get it from her and vice versa. and with me feeling unstable wiht the way i am with my daughter i wonder if this is why i am because my parents never were. I think that you do learn from your parent alot more then anyone thinks about. so it veary well could effect you today what your parents did when raising you.

Yes I did both my parents drank alot and my dad seem to always be mad about something or another and was always on to my mom about every little thing.I couldnt wait to leave home either and did at 16 just to get myself in a bigger mess than I had left because my husband was just like my dad,I put up with it for a few years then had to get out of there too,Today I am a very happy almost 50 yr. old grandma of 4 adorable grand babies and pretty well adjusted but I really dont see how with all I have been through in life. I certainly agree with the line criticism doesnt make the child better,it breaks them down and turns them into a victim. Well said. You have a nice night.

My family members will have arguements, but not alwayas, sometimes. That's normal there's arguements among family members. If too often. May be you can think of a way to stop it as you are one of the members too. The family background surely will affect a person's personality, but a human can control his/her own emotion.

Yes,my parent they get argued but it is normal for a family to have like that sometimes it a part of our daily life.I dont think so because who are we today is because of our self.I dont remember now hehehe..Nobody want argued but as i told you that a part of our life,sometimes argued is needed to have a strong family.for example my parent they argued but look they are still have a strong relationship,me and my husband sometimes get missunderstood then we solve it.I believe that argued make relationship get stronger because you cannot live with perfect life.I understand you coz argued is not good for us,it make us stress and afraid to have a relationship,because we see how they argued.Argued is not good specially in front of the child but sometimes we cant control it.it just happen.

hmmm....I can't say there was constant arguing at our home...but there were big ones when I was a teenager and almost all of that was with my mother and not being allowed to do what I wanted to. It also happened between my sister and I...but I think that was normal...though sometimes it could get loud and really mean. Being a mother now, I can understand WHY my mother reacted the way she did....I do not agree with the way she did it...and like you said...some of the things she said did break me down.....but I can now understand the sentiment behind it. My father was never like my mother and though he agreed with what she said and wanted me to do, he was able to put it across in a way that made sense to me. That's probably why I've turned out to be more like him now. But there was a point in my life when my mother's comments did affect me....my father was working abroad and he wasn't there to soften the blow of the comments. It took me a couple of years....but I grew up. My mother still tends to do the same things despite years of our father, my sister and I trying to tell her how to talk.....now we've realized that it's too late and she's not going to change the way she says things. Even though we are prepared for her type of comments....it still hurts when she does it (she still does) and we do end up arguing when she does visit or I visit them.

I'm so happy that you have that kind of strength to avoid of repeating the history. Me too, I grow up in a very argumentative family. But I think I was not that affected by those circumstances since I learned to let myself feel numb with this nonsense argument.

Yes I grew up in a house where everyone argued, well I say everyone but there was only me and my parents. But they constantly argued and I used to dread it and it made me a nervous wreck too. To this day I hate arguments and shouting and will do anything to avoid it, luckily my hubby and I rarely argue but when we have a little fall out the kids hate it.

i also grew up in that kind of situation. but my parents were not the one who's arguing in front of us. it is my mom and my eldest brother (i think he's an addict the way he acts and talks sometimes especially when he's mad) who always feel that they're right about everything. they usually never listen to what we say, they just wanna listen to themselves and no one else

Yeah. Luckily, things change.

yeah i know exactly what ur talking bout. my family bickered and fight a lot and doesn't have any good relationships with each other. now that my father's not around anymore things got easier but just a little. whenever i'm having a hard time or sth i will never turn to my family. never ever. i will turn to my boyfriend instead. it's hard growing up in that environment coz it makes you feel unloved and you'll start looking for love and acceptance at all the wrong places. you should feel proud that u'r a stronger and better person now. and since u've gone tru a rough time growing up u will never to that to ur kids. =) thanks for posting that up. happy mylotting!